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Reviews for Advance Wars: Enemies Cum Allies

By : Streti
  • From Saduharta on June 05, 2011
    Good stuff, even after such a long time; I can see the rough edges in it, but nothing out of proportion. Just simple grammar spelling stuff, and this is better than most. Quite the promising start for a Fan Fic writer, I'll have to look at your newer stuff some time.
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  • From ANON - dudeman on September 24, 2007
    lol
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  • From ANON - Reaper on August 29, 2006
    Heh,Advance Wars orgy...
    Nice! Funny! Really!
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  • From ANON - zero on November 19, 2005
    really fast and errrrrrrrr i always wannted to see so much cum in my whole life
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 19, 2005
    i would love to read story of Sami and Nell
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  • From Streti on November 03, 2005
    Thanks for taking the time to criticize, even if your points remain obscure. Yes, it is plotless in the traditional sense of the word of grand-scale plots. It's a sex fic. Nevertheless, I feel the story is concise right from the beginning, I don't believe I ever felt I didn't know what they were doing or how to set it up. The leadup is pretty straightforward, which should add to understandability, not subtract from it. Shocking? Why? Most importantly, what is the moment when I suddenly realize "it" is fine? (Whatever "it" is.) And 3/5 for that? The scale is tiny, but as such is the case, I would feel that a one-point lowering, at least, would have all the more weight for it.

    Whew... I'm not really good a supporting reviewers to say their mind am I? Critiquing critique, sheesh. It is slightly off-putting, though. It gives rise to the doubt that my writing is not at all good enough to raise good bad criticism. But such is the real world, I guess. Criticism is blessed only on those relevant enough, while the rest have to trudge along with little more than their own biased viewpoint to carry them through.
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  • From ANON - L.I.A.N.G on November 03, 2005
    ummmmmm i dont know what to say. IOt is obviously plotless, and at the begginning you had no clue what the hell they were doing until you realised it was fine! Just ever so shocking, next time try to do some building up until the sex scenes then the reader will understand a bit more. The sex scenes very good can be improved though, but welll done keep up the good work!
    3/5
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  • From Streti on October 07, 2005
    I thought I had received some of that critique already when a new mail arrived.

    Subject: The pot calls the kettle black


    Good afternoon
    Age is a very high price to pay for maturity
    A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
    Do not wear out your welcome

    Wisdom for the ages, eh? Sometimes, spam can be funny.
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  • From Streti on October 07, 2005
    Thanks for your insightful review! I've sent you a longer reply by mail. I'm always interested in hearing thoughts about my stories, not only positive feedback, but also critique and contrasting opinions. Unfortunately, I don't have any plans for new Advance Wars stories right now.
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  • From ANON - Big Samurai on October 03, 2005
    Greetings. :-) I am the Big Samurai, and I have been a fan of your fanfics since you hit the Suikoden 2 scene. This review is a review for your Advance Wars story, but it is also, in a way, a review for your entire body of work. You see, you have a tendency to only post stories for fandoms that I like, from Suikoden to Streets Of Rage to Contra to, most recently, Fire Emblem. (You even included Serra, my favorite character!) Whether or not you happen to be setting up shop inside my head, I do have to give a shout-out to a writer who knows when a fandom needs a little love. Thanks for going out of your way to go for the obscure.

    What is it about your work that I like, then? Normally, I only read lemons that have strong characterization and a good plot, but what you post is out-and-out smut. In your stories, familiar characters get together ... and get right to it. Most readers call this PWP, but I call it raw. You have a gift for the raw story, picking characters that are likely to hook up ― it is a good sign when a reader can think, on looking at a scene, “Yeah, those two, it makes sense!” ― and having them skip the preliminaries. There no declarations of love, no awkward courtship, no kissing and making up after a fight, just straight, all-out sex ... and it works! The characters, except for getting crazy for sex, stay in character, and everything that happens is, one way or another, believable. How you do it, I do not know, but it works.

    Any writer who can take a big orgy and make it believable has a good thing going. ... Any writer who is happy to write Jeane yuri and make that believable has a very good thing going.

    My favorite example: In the first installment of Good, Clean Fun, Emilia and Shu hook up, as you know. I took a look at that, and I thought, in spite of their lack of interaction in the original game, that it made sense for the lovely librarian to mack on the great strategist, just like it makes sense for Sami to give Andy his due after his victory over Sturm ... while playing Advance Wars on his GBA, no less. Little touches like that certainly help.

    As far as the current story goes, there have been two new Advance Wars games ― three, if you count the Game Cube release ― since your original posting, and, if there is one thing that I might like to see, it is a sequel involving the new officers. Judging from the fact that you recently put together a Suikoden 4 piece, a new Advance Wars might be a good possibility. Who knows?

    Anyway, to sum up, though I wish you would post new stories more often, you have a knack for writing raw in fandoms that need it, and I look forward to seeing more of it. If you need anybody to go over grammar and spelling, let me know. I would be happy to help. ... Oh! Don't forget! Update your disclaimers if you haven't already done so! You have to keep your stories online, after all.

    Have a good day. :-) I hope this review helps.
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  • From on January 29, 2005
    LOL! So funny! I like advance wars too :p Nver thought that would happen! I want Nell and Sami to do it together XD
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  • From Streti on January 25, 2005
    That's shnazzy, Avalon 13! I'll get back to the anticlimactic ending later, but I'll be looking forward to seeing your AW piece.
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  • From on January 07, 2005
    That was a... very anticlimactic ending... Liked the rest of your fic though. So much, that you've actually inspired me to do one of my own! Hope you'd read it once it's done and review me!
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  • From ANON - bobmarx11 on September 07, 2004
    lmao it wooooooooo funny how they jerked off so tru to the game. im gonna laugh about this one for weeks !!!!
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  • From ANON - James on January 30, 2004
    This wazz a good one altough I can't imagine Sonja being like that.
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