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Reviews for Dante and Annie

By : Descendant
  • From ANON - blank on January 29, 2005
    ...I know this is a lemon...but its a little hard to get in the mood when things are just...gah.


    I mean...at least instert some form of a plot. There has to be a story in here somewhere besides this pointless sex. Sex is good and all...but people just don't fornicate on the street, now do they? If your story had some form of a plot...Annie wouldn't come off as a "Mary Sue". And no...not all original characters are Mary Sues...So lets not argue about that. Characterization and your formating are your biggest flaws...I could care less about the sex scenes when these two flaws are blocking your way. Please PLEASE improve on these and fix your format. Scripting is so hard to follow along with and it is very annoying.


    P.S. if you do not know what a Mary Sue is....look it up on Yahoo! and that might help you out with your writting greatly.




    REPEAT. THIS IS NOT A FLAME.
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  • From ANON - jadetokier on October 10, 2004
    I honestly don't know why people were criticizing this story. The author specifically said in the summary "written purely for the sex" and " Dante and OC getting it on a lot". That right there says it's going to be a Mary Sue. It's not like he/she said it was going to be this long thought out story with a plot. So for what this story is, and what the author said, yes it is a good story, but if he/she made it out to be a wonderful, romance with plot and love and conquering obstacles for a relationship, then no this story would be horrible, but it isn't. So good job!
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  • From ANON - Rainbow Kitsune on September 02, 2004
    Man! This fic kicks ass! I love it. *applauses* This story deserves a medal. *hand you gold medal*
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  • From Descendant on August 26, 2004
    Wow, I'm surprised that some of you liked this. I liked this story because of all the sex. I've always loved my stories(and others') to be sexually graphic, so that aspect of my writing wont ever change. The first few reviews were a bit discouraging but I left this up anyway. I'm really glad that some of you enjoyed it.
    And I wrote it script for the same reason, I've written so many stories, you get tired of the "She said. He said. He replied" shit that, in a long dialogue, can be monotonous and repetitive.
    Well, for those of you who enjoyed it, thanks, for those of you who didn't, sorry, I'm sure you can find something else here that is more suited to your needs. Au Revoir!-Des
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  • From ANON - Mistress_Io on August 24, 2004
    I just wanted to say Anon scares me. I swear, he follows me around and reads/reveiws all the stories i do. No matter how diffrent the genre. Scary. Anyway, great story! I personally like the script formatting. It helps move drawn out dialoug along without so many "He saidshe said's" Yeah well, you should write more when you get the chance.
    Oh and, have you played start ocean 2? Because i bet you would LOVE Dias. He's one of my current obsessions that i can find very little fanficage on. Write me one?
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 25, 2004
    Sorry to say, but I agree with the first few posters.

    Yes. It is hard to write an OFC (or OMC) without it being termed a Mary Sue. It's been done though, and beautifully. I'm afraid this isn't one of them.

    As for your 'script' format... well. It leaves something to be desired. It's cramped and messy, frankly, discuraging peopel from reading.

    Sex doesn't have to be very descriptive. There are stories that get away with being erotic without mentioning sex at all. And remember, DMC is a 'Stylish' game and should deserve such ero.
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  • From ANON - Dantesgirl2004 on July 22, 2004
    I love this fanfic especially all the SEX!!! Cause the only reason I read fanfics is to read about my favorite characters of games and anime get it on.


    P.S.
    I loved it!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - L on June 16, 2004
    Double posties -.-;
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  • From ANON - LadyShiva on June 16, 2004
    Oh and btw, ignore them. I love the way you use script format, and i found Annie to be charming. it's hard to make any OC without ppl calling it a MarySue(GaryStu). Trust me, i know. I write with a lot of OC's. Anyway..again..Lovely work. And "Brody, your fucking fired!" Had me rolling like you wouldnt believe!
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  • From ANON - LadyShiva on June 16, 2004
    Oh and btw, ignore them. I love the way you use script format, and i found Annie to be charming. it's hard to make any OC without ppl calling it a MarySue(GaryStu). Trust me, i know. I write with a lot of OC's. Anyway..again..Lovely work.
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  • From ANON - ladyshiva on June 16, 2004
    Squee! i finally got around to reading your other story. Lemme just say, i LOVED it! You have such a flair for this stuff. And i loove the subjects of your writing(hot sexy man-gods XD). You soo need to write more. Oh and,the last chapter i thought was pretty laced with humor, or was that just me? You kinda danced around it like..Yeah well, they killed a bunch of shit, then she died. And the spider..jeez the dialoug was funny. I positivly loved this. *still giggly* Ehehe..Anyway, i officially offer my services as a beta for you. Email me anytime for anything you want feed back/proof reading on. Congrats, you are the ruler of smut.
    -Shiva
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  • From ANON - :/ on March 12, 2004
    You sure Annie's name is not Mary Sue?
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