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Reviews for Heat

By : Firegirl531
  • From ANON - Belthizor on August 24, 2006
    Do you speak any language that non-gibbering idiots can understand? I suggest you hone your writing skills before applying borrowed glories as a mere typist.

    Are you normally this dumb or are you just having a blonde moment? Is that a conclusion or simply the place where you got tired of thinking? Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? As Abba Eban so aptly said: "His ignorance is encyclopedic."

    You have that certain nothing. Truly, you are about as interesting as watching a slug move slowly across a large rock. Why don't you close your mouth before someone sticks an apple in it? Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you didn't have that botched back street lobotomy that left you that crisscrossed shoelace scar on your forehead; if your weren't so fat that the elephants throw you peanuts at your local Zoo, or if you didn't have a face that makes your dentist treat you by mail-order. Nah, of course you would.

    Finally, why don't you go and get lost somewhere where they don't have a "found" department?
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  • From shikiblade on August 23, 2006
    This is not Tenchu. This story sucked. S.U.C.K.E.D. You have no clue about ninja or the basis of the characters and the way they were made.
    1) Ayame is not clumsy. ninja training has made her capable of doing backflips at the age of 6, so I will thank you not to make her a clumsy cow, because she is not. She is a ninja, not a clutz.
    2)Even if two grenades are enough to kill 20 men, a ninja would still check to make sure they were dead, and behead the bodies just to be sure.
    3)Ayame would not, under any circumstances, let rikimaru help her up. She is too stuborn or too hurt by tatsumaru's death to let anyone into her heart. In tenchu 3 (based about 3 years down from the events of your story) she still won't let Rikimaru near her to help her, because she is scared she will lose him (again).
    4)Ninja slept on the ground. Not in hammocks in trees and definately not in the same hammock.
    5)Rikimaru NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER,MAKES JOKES He is to disiplined and selfless to be funny. He does have a few good lines in the games, but not enough to be considered humor.
    6) There is no way on earth Ayame would be a virgin. Ninja (particuly female ninja) are trained to use sex to get close to their targets. Ayame would have learned how to be the perfect woman to her victim so she could kill him later while he recovered from screwing her. She would have had a lot of sex and practice at just the age of 14, or maybe even younger. More over, Ayame is too flirty, exciteable and active to still be a virgin at 17 (her average age in the time you mentioned.)
    7) Rikimaru wouldn't touch Ayame like that. No way on gods earth. Azuma ninja have respect for each other. they are not friends, lovers, companions or even roommates. All they are is a team of two ninja who work together ocassionaly and can talk to each other on rare ocassions. emotion is minimal.
    8) Ayame would punch out, mangle and hurt Rikimaru if he so much as dared to try and pick her up bridle style, fireman style or any style. And more to the point, he isn't stupid enough to try.
    Please use these pointers, plus play ALL the games from start to finish to fully understand the characters and their personalities and links to each other before you so much as dare write another Tenchu fic. Tenchu deserves more than this.
    If you want to know more about ninja, read the following.
    'Ninjutsu; the art of invisability' by 'Donn Draeger' to get a good idea of what the Tenchu ninja or any ninja went through in those times to become a ninja. Then you might have a clue.
    And don't respond sayiong 'It's my story I'll do what I want,' coz I don't want to hear it. good luck with your next fic
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  • From ANON - Annomyous Angel on January 15, 2006
    Will there be a second chapter? I HOPE THAT THERE IS! PLEASE! I LOVE THIS STORY!
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 30, 2005
    Nice. This was great. *^^*
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  • From ANON - Sarah on August 28, 2005
    WOW I REALLY LIKE THIS!!!! you have to continue because this is awesome! Wowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwowwow! I LOVE THIS STORY! WRITE MORE!
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  • From ANON - Lady Shiva on April 26, 2005
    A bit rushed for my tastes, but not bad overall. My only irk is you making Ayame so clumsy. I mean, she has been trained as a ninja since she was a child...That and she said hella, ninjas don't say hella.
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  • From Kayin on February 10, 2005
    Not bad... not bad at all. Short and sweet I was always hoping those two would get together. Thanks for granting my wish.
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  • From on September 27, 2004
    If only the game had that much excitement!
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  • From ANON - Kaori on May 26, 2004
    You're story was very good. I understand how hard it is to make a good short story, but you seemed to do a GREAT job!! I must've missed the parts with bad spelling as you put in the warning at the beginning. I think that's all I have to say! Have a nice day!

    ~_*Kaori*_~
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