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Reviews for Twisted Vacation

By : AlarynDrei
  • From credfield75 on June 06, 2009
    I really like the way you're writing your story thus far. You're not throwing in sex scenes just for the heck of it. You can speed up the pace a bit, but don't prono the story. Can't wait to see how the rest turns out.
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  • From CloudShadow on February 15, 2008
    Huh, one of the very few stories that I've ever read in first person and enjoyed. Hope your claim that it gets better isn't hot air, though I really doubt it will be =)
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  • From ANON - ANOn on December 11, 2006
    alright i thought that i should let you know, that this fic, is the most sick, twisted thing i have ever read, i can tell that you are most definitely a guy. i cant believe that you would dare to put christie and leifang together! this is just disgusting, and i thought that i should let you know! ew!! disgusting!
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  • From ANON - Mullon on March 10, 2005
    I think this fanfic is great as well. The lead up chapters were good, though a little long. The enema and the killing, and the using a character not from DOA bothered me though, which is why I would take off one star, those things were just creepy.

    For a sequel I would really like to see a story that runs parallel to this story. See what happened to Kasumi or Helena, or Lisa and Tina and Ayame. Pair up people in twos or three. Then intersect the stories and end with a big orgy followed by a fight with Zack and the staff over the vidoecameras hidden over the island. It will be awesome.
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2005
    The character were decribed well and it was easy to get into the story. The plot was good all around and when is this the end?
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  • From ANON - GrandMoff on July 21, 2004
    well done. i truly enjoy the game, and i love the yuri possibilities; possibilities that you illustrated quite well. i have to agree with various other readers; i thought the effects of the enema were a bit much. all-in-all, though, a tremendous fic. and i really like how good your spelling and grammar is; it shows you give a $4!+. bad grammar and spelling always get on my nerves, so again i say arigatou!
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  • From ANON - Taractis on July 17, 2004
    Niiiice. The pacing reminds me of H-Games for some reason... and the scenes at the end only add to that. Nice job! Enjoyable read the whole way through.
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  • From ANON - Infamous Myo on June 14, 2004
    I thought this story was... wicked!? I mean it was awesome... So good, I read it over and over... Christie is just so.EXY!EXY!? The Christie/Lei thang was so good... *Fans hef off off* A sequel? Hmm... why not on Hitomi and Lei's new life in ChiThenThen have Christie show up... And maybe Christie regrets what she said that night, resulting in envy and/or jealousy. I dunno... Something along those lines maybe. *Shrugs*

    Awesome story! 10/10 easily! Mega Brownie Points for Christie/Lei!
    We need more Christie stories...*Shifts eyes, grinning* Hmm...
    ANYWAY! Gotta bounce!
    *Bounces away like a SpongMonkey*

    Ever Infamous,
    Myo Myo Chan
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  • From ANON - Jason on March 24, 2004
    I love this story! So much potential... and so much yuri! Please update whenever you get the chance. This story has been great from the start. If I had my way, this story would never end! :) Anyhoo, keep up the fantastic work.
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  • From ANON - bossdude on February 26, 2004
    nice....continue this dude
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  • From ANON - pornman on February 25, 2004
    good....but the killing....erg. You have done a good job up ti'll then, still good. please continue
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  • From ANON - ilikegirls on February 16, 2004
    YES!!! THIS IS SO AWSOME!!!!
    but next time have Christe use a strap on and do all of lei fang!
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  • From ANON - Michael on February 14, 2004
    Finished chapter5 and the preceding stories. I wasn't too big a fan of the beginning but it did lay the groundwork and the hitomi/ lei fang pairing was definitely erotic even though I normally find consentual lesbian sex you make it work.
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  • From ANON - Simmerl on February 12, 2004
    Seriously, we cannot complain about not enough plot in your lemon. ^.^
    Ie lee lemons with plot, especially if it is well-thoght, elaborated and articulated nicely.
    AND I like Christie! 5/5 easily.
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  • From ANON - Red Shadow on February 10, 2004
    Ok so I thought that chapter 7 was cool. But this chapter was more of plot than erotica. But plot is very impostant too! So I just decided to list the goods, bads, and a few suggestions. of chp. 7.


    Goods:

    1. You updated!

    2. Although fluid, this story keeps getting twist and turns. Never know what the hell is next.

    3. It was so hot when Hitomi was pleading for mercy like that. I can imagine her heavenly voice emitting seductive moans, gasp, and yelps while she begs for mercy. Only to be doomed to more tormenting, but pleasurable arousing acts.


    Bads:

    1. Hitomi being degraded by sticking something up her ass that makes her belly swollen like a pregnant woman. Seriosly, that was just not right.

    2. I'm confused. So Hitomi droped her robe in front of Lei Lei right? Did she have sex with Lei-Fang on this chapter after their drama pep talk? Or did they just literally sleep together? Because if they did do it, you could have wrote about it you know.

    3. Can't you give Hitomi a normal more sensual sex. At firt she was drunk having hot sex with Lei-Fang using an artificial plastic penis. Then she did it with sonya with some strange liquid that had to be inserted up her ass that makes her belly swollen like she's pregnant!


    Suggestions:

    1. Have Lei-fang and Hitomi play around in a sleepy fetish game. Lei-fang would chloroform Hitomi when she least expects, then take adventage of her sweet vulnerable body. Of course to make it more exiting hitomi should beg alot, slip in and out of conciosness in the middle of sex, plead of how uncomfortable she is with this game, body movement descriptions such as eye rolling and fluttering, and maybe turn tabltables on Lei-fang.

    2. Maybe the bartender can join in. Lol. Make him be the sudden violater of our dear two girls.

    3. Add more physical description to the story.
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