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Reviews for The Angel and the Outcast

By : Mikaa
  • From ANON - Ri on October 19, 2005
    Time to review, huh? I'll give you my honest opinion, in the hope that you might find it useful.

    It seems quite unlikely to me that Alex would settle down at the edge of Vale and hang around, miserably and apathetically impoverished. While he may have failed to attain infinite power, he'd be easily resourceful enough to do better for himself as long as he had any shred of elegance and ambition left. If the death of his dream was enough to crush his spirit so dramatically and irreversibly, so that one who had travelled the world with his own agenda was left haplessly letting himself be victimised without caring to leave what would surely be the last place on Weyard he'd want to live - if he was so obsessed with the Golden Sun that it left him that broken, that would seem a bit incompatible with the characterisation you've decided on. An Alex who valued his friends, who cared that much for others, wouldn't seem likely to have been so affected, so changed, by the end of a selfish and personal goal. If the reasoning is that he loved Jenna and didn't want to leave her village, even before he figured out how he felt about her - that he'd endure the 'horror that he called life', to which death compared favourably, only because he was too tied to someone he 'did not know what to make of' to live or travel anywhere else - it still seems to me that if Alex was at all himself, he'd have had a better plan for turning things around than that... Than having no plan, or deciding to torture himself.

    Jenna seems rather apathetic too, not doing much about the situation for so long, and only straying from routine about as far as the circumstances made natural. Perhaps people might generally be intimidated by the thought of going against the crowd and trying to convince close friends to change their minds. It seems odd that Jenna, though, as the hero she is, would lack the bravery and internal motivation to even speak to the one she'd decided to help. Heroes are all about bravery and morally just motivations, aren't they? And while most Valeans may not have ever left the village, she would know perfectly well that nobody was trapped. Her priorities would of course determine what she'd rather do, but one who is guided by priorities wouldn't seem the sort feel helpless to do anything about a situation she couldn't stand.

    Why does Sheba have no home to return to? The last I saw, her adoptive family were anxious for her to return to Lalivero, her home since she was an infant. While she didn't want to return right away, I didn't get the impression that her desire to search for her birthplace meant that she wished to run away forever. Besides which, didn't Ivan seem anxious to spend time with his long lost sister, so much so that she had to tell him to finish saving the world first? He seems here to have forgotten her.

    I think I'd better leave it at that. The story's pace seems a little slow, though that's definitely preferable to stories that are paced too fast. The characterisation is pretty good as far as detail goes, and the style is quite proficient. I might like it more, but the content seems rather wedded to fanon, despite the 'unusual' pairing. Well, I await the next chapter with curiousity.
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  • From ANON - Meep on September 16, 2004
    this is good, can you emal me when you update it?
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  • From ANON - Bio1590 on August 11, 2004
    Dor Dor Dudette), this is one insanely twisted story!
    Continue!
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