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By : maiafay376

From on May 02, 2005
Dear Carrie,

I'd like to thank you for reviewing for my fanfiction. It brings me great joy to see someone as interested in my stoies as i am, although it is even greater of an honor to have a talented author and peer, such as yourself, review for my story. I cannot express to you how delighted I was when I came upon it. I was of course, happy to get even the tiniest feedback- but your review gave me a special glow unlike any of the others.

I decided I would check out your story, as you had mentioned you ad a little bit of Leon/Ashley in your story as well. I did not know what the term slash was, at the time, but I check the story codes and found out. To be honest, I like the fluttery, happy type stories (maybe not so happy) but things of an unnatural nature, such as Slash and Beastiality, hold no real interest for me. However, when I checked your profile and read your summary, I decided that the story might have some traces of plot (as hardly any fanfictions do).

Needless to say, after the first two chapters I was hooked. I loved the characters of Leon and Ashley (although she doesn't deserve it XD) and the evil saddler has gotten my approval as well. It has taken a little while for me to get used to the "slash" in the story, but I suppose it is alright, because it has not bothered me yet. Becauseo f this, I admire your ability to keep writing, because I know there are many people who have reviewed you, insulting your story and your ability to write. How childish. This is a very good work of fiction! Whomever decides it is in their right to judge this story cruelly, should do it in a more civil manner, like emial, or otherwise. It makes me very unhappy to see you get judged this way; simply because you have a warning at the top of every page, you even tell what evets happen in the chapter (yet still you get cruel reviews like Veil and Sex seven Story ((not certain if that name is correct)).

Iw ould have to say chapter 6 is my favorite so far. Although I loved the scene between Ashley and Leon, where he drains her energy ^_~ Qiute hot if I do say so myself. I can only imagine these cases, but your descriptions are amazing and wonderfully portrayed. For a dark fic, you have certaintly done your job well, congratulations.

It is a custom of mine to review for every chapter of a story when I begin it; but in this case, I hope you will pardon me; as I am very, very tired and wanted only to read the chapter after the one I was reading. I am eager to read chapter 11, simply beacuse chapter 10 was so amazing. The tentacle stuff was a little disconcerting, but entertaining none the less. To be honest, I looked into your story when I first found AFF.net. I was looking for something about Leon and Ashley and I found your story first. I read the first two chapters, enjoyed it so much, that I was determined to have my own account. I am very glad now to be a part of our AFF.net community and again would like to thank you for welcoming me so sweetly.

I hope we can both stay each other's fans. Goodnight, and I hope you derived even a small amount of joy in the review, you certainly deserve.

-Lady Luky
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From ANON - Diamond on May 02, 2005
Oh for God's sake, get over yourself, Maiafay. Forty-two reviews from two-bits who wouldn't know good writing if it smacked them in the face does not a good story make. Do you know how many people there are on this site who can't even structure a grammatically correct sentence? Please, step down from your high horse before you make me snort my prune juice. Veil writes an honest, albeit blunt, review of your story, giving constructive criticism AS REVIEWERS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, and you blow a gascket. Oh, that's VERY mature. Yes, you're just the paragon of mature virtue! Honestly, there's nothing that gets me pissed more than a writer who can't take criticism without whining about it.

I've been on the sharp edge of Veil's criticism before, but you know what? She's honest, she points out what she thinks could be improved without dancing around, and sometimes she makes a really good point. Why don't you swallow your pride and look at what she said like a mature writer would do? At least give her criticism some consideration before you blow it out your ass.

Oh, and don't put words in peoples' mouths. Neither Veil nor Six Six Seven said they had any problem with slash or sex. Instead, they VERY CLEARLY stated EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE. Looks like you need to work on your reading comprehension skills, not just your writing.
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From on May 02, 2005
It's funny, reading those reviews above. There's honestly, nothing more amusing than those who try to show their "superiority" about writing fanfics with smut, such winners. There's nothing wrong with the way the author narrates the story and I quite like the language being used, it's not just "OMG SEX OMG FUCK ME FUCKFUCKFUCK!!1" there's a level to it that draws me in. The characters are well written, and if it was a story all about nonsensical sex without a plot I probably wouldn't be half as interested. Above all there's nothing wrong with learning new words, I really love being exposed to new vocabulary and I hardly get that from regular fanfiction I read. Apparently no one knows how to give out constructive criticism, no one is forcing anyone to read the story, you're only going to anger everyone instead of getting your point across. People complain, but if they're so dissatisfied they really should consider writing their own stories with their morals about fanfics and see how well it goes over. To Maiafay, I truly love your story and the way you write it, please continue it.
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From ANON - Summer on May 01, 2005
Hey I've been reading some of the comments made by a couple of people on the story. It seems to me they haven't really read the story at all. Those people don't know good writing if someone waved in their faces. I wouldn't worry about their reviews at all Maiafay they just want to make you upset. Don't let it get to you. Your a fantastic writer and this story is excellent far above many others out there. Your the top of the top in my book keep up the excellent work

Summer
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From ANON - Six Six Seven on May 01, 2005
I think you're misunderstanding poor Veil up there.

It isn't that the writing is repetitive, although the Noah's Ark adjectives are extremely annoying and your efforts to inject a more elevtaed vocabulary are very amusing, if nothing else. Nor is it that the constant sexin' is repetitive, though I can't remember the last time Leon wasn't dying to fuck some hole somewhere in this story and all characters that aren't male and/or tentacled have been left at the wayside like used whores. And it's not that she has a problem with the plot--though the concept of a parasite that needs sex is ludicrous, and even though I reread this in its entirety 24 hours ago, I can only remember sex scenes and no story, character development, or even a coherent timeframe.

It's that this sex is BORING.

I mean, honestly. This is the final breaking and branding of Our Hero, Leon, by the Tentacle God Saddler. It should have some....variety. Some spice. I expect to see sex acts that defy the laws of physics, some delightful little twists, some novelty, at least. I shouldn't be falling asleep as I read this. Yet, I am. And I love slash, kinky sex, and I do have a taste for noncon. I should not be wanting to skim and see if anything interesting happens.

Yet, I am.

I'm going to continue reading this, might even review some more. I mean, you know what they say about hope springing eternal in the human breast. Hope the update comes soon, you can only keep males erect without orgasm for so long before seriously damaging the hardware.

And by the way, every time you say "poco anil," I flinch. If you want to say "Little Indigo," "anilito" would be a better term.

Six Six Seven
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From ANON - Mandy on May 01, 2005
Veil your review sounds so bitter. Almost as if you're merely upset at the fact that it's leaving out Ashley. The author has stated she is "long winded" and even though there has been sexual content detailed lately, the is also alot dealing with Leon's inner turmoil. To me, this plot is going exactly where it should. You just weren't paying attention. What? Did you want Leon to roll over and give in quickly?

Your review is nothing more than insulting, it has no purpose to help the author. It was very snappy and had alot of venom to it, like you were only trying to hurt Maiafay's feelings. Most of all, you said you had been reading this fic and enjoying it, yet the only time you seem to find the time to review was in a negative form. Where were all your compliments and encouragement when you were reading the story before and enjoying it. You almost sound jealous of her ability to write and there is nothing wronge with using a theasurus. Oh no! The author doesn't like to use repeative wording.

I honestly think you wrote that review to be mean, not helpful. Look at how many chapters were full of anything but sex. Just because the author takes something in a direction you don't like or has things you don't like doesn't make it bad. She has 42 other reviews to prove that. Besides, it was meant to have smut in it. Sorry, but I just think you're upset because Ashley isn't playing a big role and I don't remember the author leading us to believe she would. Your seriously acting as if though the author should change what she's doing because you don't like it. "Or better yet, what chapter is the tentacle-rape over? I'll come back then" Yes, you sound like you think you are the only person she needs to impress. Read the description again and convince us that this isn't going with the plot. She even said so herself and now we should all be shocked.

"A dark and sensual alternate ending to RE4. Leon's parasite was not destroyed; instead, it mutated. Leon has to come to terms with the creatures insatiable new hunger. Heavy Slash, some Het, Dark themes, and AU. Leon/Saddler, Leon/Ashley, Leon/Ganados."

That's the description and that's exactly what is happening. I'm sorry, but your review did nothing short of making you look like a bitter idiot. It's actually amusing to see insulting something you haven't paid attention too and I truly don't think you have been reading this. You are just upset something isn't going your way and instead of letting it be, letting people enjoy it. You have to be a bitch about it.

A shame, a real shame.
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From on May 01, 2005
Okay, I started reading this because it appeared to have a plot. A mildly interesting plot at that. Something pretty rare in the fruit basket of AFF.net. Except it seems to have vanished now. We haven't heard from Ashley in *ages* and heaven only knows what happened to Ada. And we've spent some really *long* chapters on the detailed rape and breaking of Leon's character while exploring Saddler's sexual anatomy to depths I don't think I ever wanted to know. And you spelled Ozwell Spencer�s name wrong, but I can forgive that.

In short, it's getting dull. Are we going to be getting back to the plot soon? Or better yet, what chapter is the tentacle-rape over? I'll come back then. Your prose is getting repetitive and brimming with inflated language. The description and word-usage would be flowing if it wasn't ringing bells. (And I'm picking up a strong inkling that somebody's been making use of her thesaurus more than once.) And it's been too scarce of dialogue this chapter. (Which might actually be a blessing. It's better when people *don't* speak during lemons. They rarely have anything interesting to say.) Worse yet this pace is bordering on tedious. If it doesn't end soon, that back button is looking really pretty right now.

So, this started out really good and really interesting. Ashley and Leon were funny and in-character. I even put away my inner RE-purist to enjoy that snappy little twist of yours. I liked this story, recommended to people. But now it's getting dull and slow and boring. I kept looking to my scroll bar, wondering if it'll reach the bottom before I'm bored to pieces.

A shame, a real shame.

- Veil -
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From on May 01, 2005
Been following the story for a while, I really love it! It's so well written, and I was happy to see an update. Good job on the chapter, most definately, and I hope you update soon (been waiting a so long for an update! ^_^) but I realize you put a lot of work into it. Excellent yet again, keep it up!
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From ANON - Sumer on April 30, 2005
This story is excellent I loved it. Can't wait to read more. I've been back several times to see if you updated. Keep up the great work
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From REYaoi on April 30, 2005
I just read chapter 7 through 10 and they were all terrific. I love all of the turmoil and drama going on through out them. Leon's inner battles and refusal to take the time to understand what is happening is all amusing to me. It actually makes me laugh, they way he thinks when things are happening to him, how he scolds himself and puts himself down, yet he can't seem to stop himself from doing it. I enjoy how you set up the whole "Who's to blame" situation, because in a way, they all take part in the troubles Leon is going through. The plaga causes him to have to feed and crave energy, but Leon is the one who chooses to feed in the manor he does. Leon is too caught up in his distress and fight; he doesn't take the time to understand what is happening to him really. Saddler constantly stalking him and messing with him makes the matters even worse. I found that to be an extremely good twist to everything, it makes all the more entertaining and it was a great idea for the story.

What happens when he fully feeds is vicious and just..eww. The detail on everything in all of the chapters gave both pleasant and disturbing mental pictures. You described it all very well. Leon being super sexy and seductive was awesome and once again, his inner thoughts during those actions are amusing and realistic. The way he acts and thinks makes me feel like he is really starting to lose it. He appears, with each new chapter, to be having trouble focusing on anything but his cravings. His sanity is also in question, I think that seems to be slipping bit by bit as well.

The twist with Umbrella was original and great. It was something new and original to have them actually being good at one point. Which this makes me hate Saddler and the other Sovereigns extremely. I really started to hate Saddler at the part when he was talking about Telgren. I was annoyed so much when he acted like Leon shouldn't be angry at him for what he had done to Telgren. Saddler was all like.."I loved him and blah blah." The love was truly one-sided in my opinion. Telgren didn't willingly love him; I think he just needed him. Which makes Saddler seem all the more arrogant and cruel to me. I don't feel any pity for what happened to the Sovereigns in the past, because reguardless, they were never good people. They've always been arrogant, controling, and cruel towards others they seen inferior. When he told that story, acting like his race should have pity was so obnoxious. This is a major compliment, because I usually don't get so annoyed with fanfiction or book characters, but I did this time.

Anyway, you've done such a good job. Capturing the characters personalities and the way act. Leon's stubborn nature, his will to fight, his disgrace, and shame at what he is doing, done, or will do. I'm glad he is giving Saddler such a hard time, even though he ends up getting punished for it. Heh, which chapter 10 was very entertaining and the descriptions were great on the foreplay. Fun! Fun! At the same time, I'm upset that Saddler might (and probably will) force the Soul Bonding completely. I just don't want him to have full control over Leon, because I hate him so much now! He's just so damn arrogant. : ( Wow, sorry for babbling so much but I missed a lot. Okay, so basically it was great; I loved it, and would hope to see more soon. Remarkable job.

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From ANON - I have a name? on April 30, 2005
Oh God, you had to stop there didn't you? No! I want to know what happens next! As before its bloody brilliant and you are a very talented writer...Please update again soon! Your descriptions are wonderful and I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. I don't usually read this stuff but I love this story, its wonderful!
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From ANON - ZombieDuke(not logged in) on April 30, 2005
*twitches* You... Stopped. *twitches* In... the... middle. *twitches*
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo CRUEL!!!!!!!!!!!
*claws at screen* I feel for Leon now, do you know that? To leave AT THAT ONE POINT!!!!!
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I love it! The descriptions, the characters, the sex/porn. I love it all!
Ignore the flamers. You've posted plently of warning and if they choose to flame/annoy you, they can go write their own shit. Don't listen to what a few narrow-minded few have to say, do they write their own stories? do they pour all their time into their own stories? Probably not. Just ignore the ignorant shits and let them knaw on each another.
Besides! This is fanfiction! Anything can happen!
Update soon? Please? I'll ummm.... ummm... *grabs rocket launcher* point and click?
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From ANON - I have a name? on April 29, 2005
I have to say that this fic is bloody brilliant and I could not stop reading! Saddler is a right arrogant bastard but I still like the portrayal of him! Poor Leon! I can't wait to see what happens next! I must know!
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From ANON - SammyB on April 18, 2005
Damn it has been a while since I got to read this story. The last two chapters were great. I love how Leon was reacting to everything that was happening, how much more control he was losing and the plaga disappearing (sort of). There were many things that I enjoyed and want to comment on, but that would take forever. I can say you did a wonderful explaining everything and your ability to write detail was as wonderful as ever. Leon is constantly being hounded with one problem after another and you do a good job at capturing his thoughts on everything and his reactions to them are what I think fits his character. You made Saddler such an annoying arrogant bastard, which is dead on in my opinion. All in all, you did great and left me hanging, I hope to see what is going to happen next soon. Good luck and great job.
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From ANON - myanime91 on April 16, 2005
Hi! let me just start by saying....I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH!!!!!! the lemons so far kind of creeped me out, because of who Leon was doing, but I absolutely love the scenes with Ashley. I lovve the plot and the story keeps me on edge. will Leon and Ashley get together??? for good, i mean. not just as a feeding. because i really love that pairing. well, anyway, you must update soon, because i'm going crazy with anticipation! keeping writeing more ashley/leon stories! thanks!
e-mail me when you update please!!! epl1991@aol.com
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