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Reviews for Chrono Trigger: Loyalty

By : Shadowflare
  • From wingsofseyfert on August 03, 2010
    You know, this story started off so well but kind of went downhill once you had Marle go through hallucinations of being with Lucca and Ayla. While Lucca and Ayla are certainly very sexy in their own rights, I came reading this story in the expectations of Queen Zeal having her way with Marle but was dismayed when there was more mention of Lucca and Ayla then Queen Zeal. Maybe it is because I'm a big Queen Zeal nut (can I be her slave?) but if I wanted to read a lesbian story on Lucca/Marle or Ayla/Marle then I would have read something else.

    If you do plan to re write this in the future, I don't mind you still keeping Lucca/Marle and/or Marle/Ayla but please keep it to just one chapter...for both characters and stick to Zeal doing whatever the heck she wants to Marle.

    Anyway, to the actual chapter I really liked it. Marle's futile determination to not be broken mentally was brave but as I said, futile. I liked how you made Queen Zeal almost lose control of the situation right there. I almost thought that you would have had Zeal just blast Marle with her scepter in frustration before leaving but I'm glad Zeal took control in the end. Have you ever thought of incorporating Zeal's Hallation move during these sessions, the one that leaves your party down to 1 HP, just to weaken Marle to the point of utter helplessness?

    In any case, wicked story, I'm glad you are still trucking with it and I'll be sure to keep tabs on it in the future.
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  • From salarta on August 02, 2010
    Glad to see some more from you with this fic. It's pretty neat to see some Queen Zeal love coming out lately from you and wingsofseyfert. The long time since your last chapter is no big deal, of course I say that then I feel bad for not getting stuff written sooner. :) Good job with the interaction between Queen Zeal and Marle, and it's wonderful to see that come back after the long run of action between Marle and other characters.
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  • From khfun159 on April 05, 2010
    I rather enjoyed this story. It's too bad it's not complete, but what's there is very fascinating. Great concept for a fanfic, and a fairly good characterization of Zeal. I called it being a dream, but no complaining here.
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  • From ANON - Hexelf on November 07, 2009
    Wow, I am so looking forward to seeing what happens next. I was absolutely thrilled to see Zeal was back in business, ready to make the most of Marle's recent training. Maybe having her doing maid duties just to dress her up, and get behind her when she least expects it? Oh I am sure there's plenty of ideas left.
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  • From salarta on August 06, 2009
    I don't know why I forgot to say this, but your story was part of the inspiration behind mine. I just thought I'd leave a message since I know if someone was inspired by something I wrote, I'd like to know.
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  • From ANON - Kidd on August 27, 2008
    Hurry up with the next chapter... damn. I will be dead before the rest of this is released...
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  • From thePD1 on January 22, 2008
    Wonderful update - I am actually glad to see Zeal back in action. Thank you for continueing with this story!
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 17, 2008
    xxxcellent, more queen zeal soon, and now with marl knowing how to serve a mistress and please her body and feet and everything, this is gonna great
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  • From ANON - Rookie_One on October 26, 2007
    its a great fic, please continue!
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 26, 2007
    This stuff is kickass! I can't wait for Zeal to get back in the fic, she's as sexy as they come! Pun intended :D
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  • From HexElf on August 10, 2007
    Been a fan of this series for quite a while and noticed I forgot to add a review here. My favorite part is 3 since it's just smokin hot all over, especially the last few pages or so. Hoping for some anal, maybe a threesome or simply the return of Zeal (unfortunately not a big fan of Lucca) in the next one. Thumbs up!
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  • From ANON - Rookie_One on July 22, 2007
    great!!!!

    keep up with it!
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  • From Kid on April 30, 2007
    I been keeping up with this story since you first posted it in 2005 or so. I really like it. I even read some chapters twice just for kicks. I wish you would update a bit faster though. the gap between 2-3 was torture! Oh well! Keep up the good work and I will check back later.
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  • From ANON - The PD on April 10, 2007
    :D write more. This is definetly one of the better, if not best stories for Chrono :)
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 14, 2007
    Wow, an update! I'd given up hope. I read this back when you published it, and I'm glad to see you haven't given up on it! Can't wait for more!
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