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Reviews for Reflections

By : Duskfire
  • From FrostofEgarath on September 27, 2005
    Hmm...yet another chapter. Makes me happy. So the story is nearing to a close? Too bad, really; I rather like your style. But first, let me ask you: been to Italy recently? Or is there some other reason you made them go there (like Rome being the numbero uno romantic city in the world, according to polls worldwide)? Now, for the praise. As you said in my mention in this chapter (I stole your layout for this in my newer chapters of Net Navi, btw., credit goes here :o) , your writing style has increased notably during the course of the story, which makes me happy at least. ~.~ And how in the world were you allowed to use fanfictions for school? Great going anyways. ^.^ For, for a little criticism... (can't go without it):

    - At a general rule, it seems the Rockman.EXE universe is trying to rename the world. Granted, they still call Japan Japan, but America and Europe seem to have been clashed together into the new republic of Amerope (the science state), whilst England is renamed into Kingland (the nobility flair), and other non-specific parts of the worlds have been neamed such as Creamland and Darkland (which I'm guessing is Russia or something). This is not important, but I just thought you should know.

    - Italy, aka. "the home of men who walk hand in hand down the street", according to popular lore. I'll admit I have never anywhere near Italy, but it is said in Italy, like Japan, more intimate bodily contact inbetween male friends is not that unheard of. Of course, also being the largest Catholic State in the world, if said contact is seen to be above the friendly level, it would surely be condemned. ~.~ So, once more, not very important.

    - Also, as before, despite your best efforts to tell me off, you are still quite rash. Transitions and smooth story telling is a good way to impress any linguistics teacher.

    Now, go for it, oh author. Make us proud.
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  • From on September 26, 2005
    Chap four seemed a lot like chap three.
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  • From ANON - jousetoyaoifan on September 25, 2005
    really good coming along in ff.net there is no megaman fic there so I came here often but here there are only 4. so..sad+_=
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  • From FrostofEgarath on September 16, 2005
    I'm really glad I clicked into this story when I did, and got to be a part of it. Well, in a way. ~.~ Actually, this time I have nothing to complain about. Well, apart from that you still tend to be alittle rash, if I am to be harsh, and that you should probably find some softer way to mark flashback sequences and returns to our timeframe, purely symbol-wise.

    Now for praise:

    I so totally agree with Netto in his viewing Iijui Enzan (Eugene Chaud Blaze, if you will) and Laika as the two most improbable people in the world to "let loose", unless circumstances such as missions or death threats forced them. I've read enough fanfiction of this fandom latlely to become somehow accustomed with Enzan not acting like a heartless, superior jerk to Netto, but to see Laika of Sharo's special net forces eat cotton candy and ride rollercoasters... ^.^ How rare. And how sweet.

    Also, as for your question of what I think maked this "damn, gotta sleep over at my rival's/worst enemy's house for a weekend" is better than lots of other I've seen from different fandoms are many, but I can sum up a few if you like:

    - I expect/suspect this is not a PWP. Granted, PWP is Porn Without Plot, but still...too damn obvious. And...
    - No love at first sight. This goes gradually, over a period of time. Love tends to take it's time, even with the youngsters, does it not?

    I don't know if any of what I just said made any sense, but....those are it. Also now, I'm looking forward to your next chapter (be it the story I'm hoping for, or the sheer cuteness...I'm also hoping for ^^). Good luck onwards also!
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  • From ANON - Mu-chan the Vampire King on September 16, 2005
    That was awesome!
    ***************
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  • From FrostofEgarath on September 09, 2005
    Hmm...a new chapter. *hugs his newly aquired Forte plushie* Thanks a bunch, oh hallowed author. I love him. And it was nice to be mentioned in the fanfic, thanks a lot for that too.

    Now, for new criticism and advice...I really do not have much to say this time. Your POV-ness greatly improved in this chapter, I think. If any inconsistency occurred in this chapter, I did not notice them; in other words, they were not distractive, like in the first chapter. ^.^ Also, I have read a few fics where Netto is forced to live with Enzan for a span of time; in fact, I find it's a more or less common occurrence throughout fanfiction as a whole. But your fic is one of the better at it; one thing I do want to remark in this chapter is how you tend to write with very little transitional material. In other words how you sometimes (not always, not at all) tend to throw the reader from one situation to the other very roughly, like a shopping list or the like. ~.~

    Oh, and something nice at the end, to try and convince you I'm not all evil. That remark Netto made about the Iijui estate behing very cold was very good. (Partly because I've always believed it to be, and partly because it would explain a good deal about Enzan.)

    Till next chapter (which I'm looking forward to), good luck with writing.
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  • From ANON - Mu-chan on September 07, 2005
    Another excellent chapter.

    It’s a line from, and the title of, a song.

    The story “Alice in Wonderland” is in the Public Domain.

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  • From ANON - Kat on September 03, 2005
    its cute sofar, i want to know whats going to happen. write more pleas!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Mu-chan on September 01, 2005
    Ooo, "...I think I love you..." Haha good story!
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  • From FrostofEgarath on August 29, 2005
    Greetings.

    Well, as for reviewing this story, not having seen too much as of yet (please give us more soon ^.^), I have only a few comments. First, concordance is a sacred law. Consistiency in all you do is a good thing, and tends to keep people on track. Example: calling a person a "young man" in one sentence, and a "boy" in the next is not consistent. Next off: digits (1, 2, 3, etc.) placed in a sentence not dealing with mathematics or numbers greater than ten is kinda disturbing. Example: "...you would only see 1 person each in each." OK, almost done here now. Last, but far from least: Find one point of view you fancy, or one narrative made, and stick with it. Unless you plan on using view angles to make some clever literary emphasis, stick with one. ^.^

    Well, don't take this too harsh, just trying to help. I liked the prospects, so...oh, and those plushies...? *smiles deviously* I want a Forte plushie...
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  • From ANON - evilchild (not signed in) on August 28, 2005
    Yeah... this sounds like it's gonna be interesting. I almost didn't read it because I am not used to their japanese names. I read it just to see if the people were described so I can know who it is. Now that I know it's a ChaudxLan I wouldn't mind reading more!
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