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Reviews for Ceald Amothien

By : wanderingaddict

From Fawnheart on April 04, 2008
Holy snapping, wonderwiki! deadset, you are a God and I am your disciple....you can turn a simple kiss into a smorgasboard of emotions, images, sensations... I love reading your stuff and this chapter is seriously the best. No it isn't the best, all your chapters are fantastic, I just said that because Im still tingling from thinking about the base of Valen's tail :P

I was going to spit chips actually at you and yell because you didn't let me know you had updated, but then I remembered that my mail thing logged out (as it does every two weeks :P) and by the time I realised, I couldn't remember my password. I was wondering why the little letter thing had been empty for so long...so anyway, I figured that maybe you did let me know you updated but alas, I can't get the notification!

Anyway, when I figured that out and checked to see that you HAD updated, I was stoked! and then my mind was blown as it always is when I ready your work...and now I'm wrapt again to hear that this is only half of what you have written and that soon...SOON... there could be another update. Not that I'm rushing you, your stuff is always worth waiting for.

But well done again! You seriously are brilliant. If I tried to put as much detail in my work as you do yours, I'd send people to sleep I'm sure, but you just haul the reader along with you and they couldn't stop reading till it's done, even if they wanted to. Which I for one would not! lol.

So um....more kajun and kresjur soon too eh? :D *begs*
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From YukoKibzorz on February 15, 2008
Oh, wow. I've been away from the internet for a while, and I must say, your updates have been the highlight of my return. As ever your writing is absolutely amazing. The only critiques I have would be that there are typos from time to time (which is nothing big, I find typos in the books I buy), and that the drow are portrayed perhaps a bit too much like the surface cultures (also not a big deal, since you do a very good job of explaining why they're acting as they are. I'm just a drow fangirl). I love the way you worked in Valen's dialogue from the game, and had Ceald using the female prompts, haha. Your cliffhanger is pure evil, of course. Ah, well. Let the buttsecks commence!

Much
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From ANON - Iris on February 10, 2008
Oh my GOD, you are continuing this, right?! I don't even play this game, but I have fallen so completely for this story. First-person narration isn't usually my favorite to read, but you have done such a good job I couldn't help but read more, and enjoy it.

Thank you so much for such a well-written story!
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From evelyn on January 30, 2008
This was incredibly fun to read-- I LOVE reading this through Ceald's point of view and how he gets all flustered when people are teasing him. :) Can't wait until you get another chapter out~
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From ANON - maneo on January 22, 2008
This is awesome it does take a lot for me to read slash cause it always seems OOC to me but there is one huge thing that has bugged me for the stroy and it is the way the characters sometimes talk as if they are in modern ages, they would never say in the slang you have used and it sometimes ruins the atmosphere of some parts that you have built up, apart from that this is good please continue on
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From ANON - Lunar on January 20, 2008
"Woo Valen!" Man that line still puts a huge grin on my face. Sooo... how's that next chapter coming along ^_^;
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From ANON - Unseelie on January 07, 2008
*grabs her love and whacks ya in the head* Write, damn it! You have faithful cohorths to say how wonderful the story is, I'm here to crack my whip and make you write more and faster. For your own good - there would better be another chapter before I'm back with my spiked cat o'nine tails!
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From ANON - Anon on January 05, 2008
Ceald Amothien is most definitly one of the better fan fiction stories I have read. It is nice to see a story that has a
involveing and interesting plot instead of just being about sex. There is just the right amoung of every aspect of the story.
The fighting was interesting, the descriptions of everything allow the reader to visualize what is going on without being overdone,
and the interactions seem realistic instead of contrived or forced. I greatly look forward to the next chapter and all that entails.
All I have to say is I am so jelious of Ceald right now.
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From rayvenwing on December 12, 2007
For some reason, half my review was eaten...>_>; Anyway, onwards!

I have to say, I am completely tickled pink that I checked back here and found not one, but two new chapters! *does a dance*

�How you doin�?� --This made me snicker to the point my roomie gave me a few funny looks. X3

Please continue! As always your writing isn't prey to the dry 'this-and-that' happened trap so many other authors fall for...you're telling a story that's fleshed out, solid, and utterly engrossing.

...I want to lick a fairy dragon toooo. ;_;
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From ANON - Ermine White on December 05, 2007
I entirely understand where you're coming from with making Valen the way he is. It makes perfect sense to me that he'd treasure his humanity rather than just teh fact he's part human.

I must say I did enjoy the flow of the conversation between Valen and Ceald. That's the real deal right there; awkward silences and saying things before thinking about them. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I adore the pace you've taken with the romance. Even in the first two chapters it was evident that there was something between the two. But there wasn't any rush to get them together like I've seen some authors do.

Also, Ceald's flirting? Pure gold. What I wouldn't give to have been there to see Valen blush. Granted he'd had some alcohol but I still say making a tiefling blush is a feat to be proud of!

And in closing: the fact Oerth tastes like sparkles is to die for. Am I crazy that I'm always fixating on the familiar? Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to the sex as much as everyone else, but I've mentioned the dragon in everyone of the reviews I've made. I MUST be mad. I'm also wondering if Oerth will approve of Ceald's choice of mate or is he going to be jealous of Valen for stealing attention?
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From ANON - Asha Crone on December 03, 2007
I am looking forward to the lemon. Though the idea of Valen going "Yes, my love?" every time you talk to him is somewhat humorous... *giggles*
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From mistaheleganza on December 03, 2007
Ah, fantastic! Always happy to read a new chapter. I think that the changes you've made to the first part really helped pull it together; you maintained the rhythm of the story perfectly. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but if I haven't, here goes: the dialog in the opening section of chapter 4 is beautifully crafted. It really feels natural, and that is a feat that a lot of writers have trouble grasping. And the dialog in this new section is no exception, particularly the parts where Valen and Ceald converse in the tavern. Its that kind of well - crafted exchange of words that can reveal so much about the characters' personalities. The intensity and kind of cautious fragility that Valen displays is exactly the way that I perceived him to act, and the way you presented it was subtle and just right.

I must say, I'm looking forward to reading about the rest of their evening... *wink*

Please keep on writing, I know I'll be there to keep reading!
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From Fawnheart on December 03, 2007
Ok...my turn to yell..why the bloody hell didn't you tell me you had posted another bloody chapter? The only reason I haven't been checking myself is because I can't bloody well live with the bloody well disappointment of there not being another bloody well chapter! And all this time there bloody well was?! You SUCK!

There, now onto the story...first, I have a hard time crytically analysing someones work. Simply because I don't know if what I think is the result of me being used to the the way that I would do things myself, (and the last thing I want to do is project that crap onto you!) so usually I prefer not to say anything at all. However, with your work, there has never been anything to look at closely because it's freaking spectacular. That's why I patiently wait for a chapter, I know it's going to be worth it. Can't rush a master and all that.

With this one though, I kept in mind your question at the beginning of the chapter where you asked if you should just shaft this and get to the juicy stuff. And at first, I admit that I was disappointed that you hadn't continued with the sexual tension that you had built in the last one because I fully expected a chapter of unbridled lust after the last one. Seriously, that was some pretty intense stuff...I loved it...so yeah, I was slightly deflated but your work being what it is, I just went with the flow because I knew that the chapter would be relevant and just simply fucking brilliant as it always is (scuse the french but I wanted to make that point stand out). And it was, by the time I had gotten to the part where they were in the bar chatting, there was no sexual tension but I was over the disappointment of that (which Ceald felt too so I kind of think that if that's what you had intended to happen, it worked) and I was as frustrated as Ceald was when he kept dropping little hints to the demon, i wished I was there to poke himin the ribs and tell him to be a bit bloody more obvious since Valen was infuriatingly not coming to the party. And THAT is what made this chapter so good...the frustration and even the desperation that Ceald displayed when he tried to make things happen with his little flirty things, and really, who hasn't experienced that before? So as usual, you nailed it and it was freaking brilliant. THEN...just when I thought that nothing was going to happen, and when Ceald thought nothing was going to happen as well and left, you made Valen come and grab him and I swear, your writing is so perfect that my heart jumped probably more than Ceald's did and in a flash, or less even, that sexual tension you had developed in the last chapter was back. I think that's what I like the most about your writing, your characters just drag the reader along and MAKE them feel what you want the reader to feel. It's bloody magic. So anyway. While I would like nothing more than to see Valen just rip his clothes off and have his wicked way with Ceald but do you know what? I think I'm enjoying the journey there a hell of a lot more and I think that the last thing you should do,is scrap the lead up. Even if it takes another ten chapters to get there, it's the story, you know?

And that brings me to the only thing that kinda disappointed me...which was how blantantly Valen came out and said "you and me eh?" or words to that effect. It kind of took the surprise out of things a little for me. I like that element of uncertainty that you had going, that of course led to that excrutiating sexual tension where we are all like, FUCKHIM! SHIT! RIP HIS GEAR OFF FOR THE LOVE OF CHOCOLATE! where Ceald was trying to figure out what was going on in Valen's head and second guess him, and where Valen was this hunk of raw sexuality that we could all see was chomping at the bit to maul Ceald, but Ceald wouldn't allow himself to believe it. But I had come to associate that dynamic as part of their attraction, that constant wondering...not sure that makes any sense. But I just wonder what's left to be revealed now that the chase is over, I mean of course, there's the mad bonking and that will be good I know, but then what? It just seemed that they went from not understanding what was going on and struggling to keep their sanity while lusting after each other's bones and 'wanting', to the 'beginnings' of a deeper understanding of each other as per the conversation in the bar to straight out, how's about it huh?

Like, I was disappointed that the chapter didn't start off with the tension that the last one left off with, but I have so much faith in your writing that I knew there would be a point and of course there was. The dialogue in the bar deepened everything between them, and then of course you managed to smack me in the head with a stiff dose of 'the tension' just before the end and it was bloody magic, im not joking when I say it was breath taking...literally... but when Valen kind of just spat out the you and me bit, for me, it kind of took the magic out of it, you know? Like...it took away the mystery and for me that was the basis of that excruciating tension you had going.

But then, I could be be just rambling and it really isn't such a big deal, seriously, I enjoyed the story as much as always, but if you had asked, that's the only thing I would like to see handled a little differently...or would like to see put off for a bit longer. I mean, they could still frot like furry animals and then Ceald could wake up the next day and think oh shit, *is* this a one night stand and kick himself for not sticking to all his little personal rules and boundaries and things... and then Valen would just go along oblivioiusly on his merry tiefling, big brawny and silent thing, secure in the fact that they were an 'item' and remaining confused as to why Ceald may act a little defensive or whatever, because of Ceald's tendency not to admit things to himself...mainly about the fact that he can't believe Valen is attracted to him. Anyway, email me if I haven't expressed myself clearly enough...you know what I'm like and how I need to be pked to get what's in my head onto paper sometimes. But I love your writing and your story. You seriously are brilliant.

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From ANON - Lunar on December 02, 2007
OH WHAT A PLACE TO CUT OFF! Damn!! You had me right at the edge of the chair! *falls over* On the one hand, I was so hoping for smexy! On the other hand, their conversation is just so gorgeous, and the general descriptions of the party... All of it very endearing... Definitely good character building! *claps wildly*

The only critique I have at all, and it is probably my own ignorance... Is you let Valen slip into some short slang at times in this chapter (early in the bar scene) it's a more informal tone than he seems to usually have, even when relaxed? And a wee bit jarring. Maybe this shows him just being more laid back than usual, but I kind of miss his rather knightly/well-spoken way of talking from earlier chapters. Just a tiny thing, but it tickled my brain. Regardless! HUGE LOVE.
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From ANON - Arimikoe on December 02, 2007
WHY MUST THIS BE SO HOT.

I loved how you portrayed drow culture, and the fact that you didn't just drop the other important characters. Caeld is so damned real in his reactions and personality, and the shyness he has butts heads with his arrogance, and his sweetness, and he's just an all around good guy. I could very well see why Valen was drawn to him.

Think that glamor helped a bit, too...
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