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Reviews for Ceald Amothien

By : wanderingaddict

From ANON - Unseelie on November 27, 2007
Sorry, that above was me, used my old name in the rush to review. But my opinion still stands. After such sensual piec of reading you've left me starving for more. And if it'll take another month or so to update - I'll surely die. Update soon, feed the poor Unseelie :
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From ANON - Assamith on November 27, 2007
Damn you! Update, and I mean NOW! xD For this kind of cliffhangers people should burn in hell! Seriously.
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From mistaheleganza on November 25, 2007
Ah, wonderful! I'm so glad you've updated! And another fine addition it is. Feel free to focus on your character as much as you please; it is written from his perspective after all! It is the focus on detail and description that makes a story so much more alive, and taking time to flesh out more of Ceald's thoughts and personality can only add to that feeling. I also highly approve of your decision to make Valen more demon than man. It just adds to that sexy, mysterious, exotic thing he's got going on! I just have to comment on Ceald's little, uh, bathtub alone - time. Whoa. That disjointed sequence of images and thoughts, that was, that was, uh, quite engaging. *blushes* Oh! Oh! And I quote:

"'Arousing.' He growled as he said it, and I almost flinched at the thought that it sounded like he�d been about to tackle me to the floor."

Fantastic! That is some delicious sexual tension there! I just loved the visceral feel that little fragment evoked!

The only critique I could offer would concern some story balancing. You spent a large amount of effort describing the enchanted clothing that Ceald received, which, by itself is not an issue; only that later on I felt you gave a much more rushed accounting of the party itself. I was craving a much more detailed description of the party, the way the Drow decorated, who was wearing what kind of costume, perhaps more history on the celebration, and so on and so forth. I wanted more of that level of attention simply because that was what I had encountered earlier in the story. It's a small thing, really; I only felt that the flow of the story shifted too quickly for my tastes. So I would suggest either trimming some content from the beginning, or add some towards the end.

Ah, I look forward to reading the next chapter! And as far as Ceald's little 'predicament' goes... You can't rape the willing. O.o

Keep on writing; I know I'll keep on reading!
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From ANON - lunar on November 24, 2007
I confess. I found this story by accident last week and I think I've read it through 5 times now. You've got the knack! I'm not really a D&D fan at all but I love the fluid way you tackled the battle scenes and also managed to work in some great back story hints/characterization while not getting bogged down. Ceald is adorably touchy while at the same time being a real bad-ass, especially for a mage :-D, instead of being easy to pigeon-hole he comes across as interesting and original! Here's hoping he gets his wish... a big hulking gorgeous weapons master to cuddle with as he recovers his strength. I hope they click without too much angst. I want to see more of them kicking ass together!And well... doing anything together ;-)
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From ANON - Ermine White on November 24, 2007
What is there to say? This chapter was brilliant as expected. My favorite parts were the absolutely adorable visual of Oerth in a pie dish and Nathyrra and Valen teasing Ceald. I liked how you were able to shift Nathyrra's personality without it seeming out of character. I also find it funny that she can kill a horde of people in unspeakable ways but watching a fairy dragon swallowing grosses her out.

Although..."Nathyrra seemed that I would even say it." You're missing a word here. And the mention of Deekin came as a surprise for me as he doesn't appear in previous chapters.

Closest thing to Japan in Faerun would be Kara Tur...I think.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Ceald should be more careful walking around looking so yummy. You never know what might try to eat you.
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From Fawnheart on November 23, 2007
Ah wonderwiki...you really are a master. You don't write, you craft and this is just perfect...as usual. The biggest thing that strikes me about this chapter is that it is really deceiving in that it is so different from your battle scenes. It just rolls gently along and lulls you into this sense of false security, all the while building up the most incredibly intense sexual tension that you don't even realise was building because you were so entralled in the descriptions and the story, until the chapter finishes and you are breathing heavy and feeling exhausted again, and you fell like screaming... For FARKSAKE! VALEN! SICK HIM! THROW HIM ON THE GROUND AND JUST PILLAGE HIM FOR GODSAKE! lol I can't wait for the next chapter, deadset. This is magic! YOU are brilliant!
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From mistaheleganza on November 16, 2007
*does the happy dance* I am so absolutely thrilled that you have continued work on this story! I will never get sick of reading about Ceald and Valen; I am quite happy that I'm not the only one who found Valen to be such an engaging and sexy character! Both chapters were a treat to read; I think that your knack for describing the battles that Ceald fought is amazing. The way you've painted the visuals for all the magics that Ceald used is fitting and potent. My personal favorite was the Shadow Kraken; I kind of wish it was really in the game.

As always, your character interactions are fluid and well-thought through. I really think you have captured Valen's personality, and I love the running internal monologue Ceald wanders through when he's around him. I must urge you to continue work on this story; you've laid a wonderful groundwork to build on.

Please, please write more!
*pouts, then throws a tantrum*
Moooooooore!

I look forward to reading the next installment!
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From ANON - Arimikoe on November 13, 2007
You still win, you know. Leave the third chapter out?! What the hell?! This only draws out the pure awesome that is your writing! Continue. PLEASE.
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From lucipheria on November 06, 2007
I really look forward to a continuation of this story. I was an avid player of NWN and your delightful fanfic tickles my toes just the right way. =)
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From rayvenwing on October 30, 2007
I totally dig how you write your characters. It's completely believable and utterly endearing. I'm begging you to write more! :)
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From ANON - Ermine White on October 18, 2007
Wow, I haven't checked up on this in ages. When I first read this I passed it off as a one-shot. And when I did wander back into the NWN section I freaked out because there were TWO more chapters! Pure gold both of them.

I love how this isn't rushed or unrealistic like some stories are. There's actual build up in romance. And I simply adore the Ceald Oerth moments in the third chapter. Nothing is more adorable than a boy and his do...dragon.

Also I don't normally like reading stories written in first person but this I made an exception for. If only for the fact your writing style really gets into the head of the character rather than throwing some strange mix of useless side notes that some writers use. I fumbled with your wording a bit here and there, but it might just be me because I'm easily distracted. You have a wondrous way of showing rather than telling, even with the little details that I love. And the way you write spell casting is nothing short of inspired because you can see Ceald actually doing it rather than just throwing out the name of a spell.

I do sorely hope there's more to come with this.
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From ANON - YukoKiba on October 15, 2007
Absolutely love this story. It's amazingly well written, you have quite a way with battles. I certainly can't wait for the next chapter. Hurrah for Valen yaoi! XP
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From Fawnheart on October 07, 2007
Hello! Look what I found, and I don't even PLAY NWN!

Chapter 1: Just brilliant! I love how you describe the use of magic as something more complex than just waving a magic wand, as though it's actually a puzzel to be solved or something. It makes sense really doesn't it, I mean if magic were as easy as flicking a wand, then why do mages and such have to train for such a long time? But anyway, I just love this first chapter. You have described everything so beautifully that I could easily picture things in my minds eye, and not once was I bored. The battle was especially convincing, and I loved the line where Ceald said something about sucking the demon's tongue down his throat hahahaha, I love it!

Hang a tick, I need to read chapter two now!

Chapter 2: oh wow! I'm exhausted after reading that, honestly, I'm probably even more tired than Ceald was (pity I didn't have that psycho demon to carry me in to brush my teeth!) THAT was simply BRILLIANT! Honestly, I was smiling my head off at the beginning of the chapter when Ceald was flipping out about how he was being carried, that was just too good. And now I am bloody stuffed from reading about that battle. Just brilliant! NOt a boring or unbelievable moment in it, and I love how this chapter *really* establishes Ceald's character... I'm too tired to read the third chapter, but I can't resist it! This is just TOO good! I am seriously exhausted after reading it, I think I have just been dragged along on some weird emotional rollercoaster that started with gentle humour, dragged me through fear (cutting his eye out? Holy shit!) and now, relief... But Hang a tick again,, I'll go have a smoke and a cup of tea and then I will read the third chapter, I just can't stop! ...yes...sounds like a plan. Honestly, this story is just fantastic, I hope you intend to make a career out of writing... brb...

Chapter 3: Well! Im glad you did include this chapter, it's beautiful and it sets up (I hope) the basis of Ceald and Valen eventually unleashing upon each other...but then I could just be a pervert. But anyway, it gives the pair of them more depth and I really, really enjoyed...It was nice and cruisy after the second near flattened me! Maybe that could be something you keep in mind, your writing really is so spectacular that you could easily nearly kill your readers if you don't give us a nice cruisy chapter in between the intensity of your battles.

IN all honesty, when I first started reading this story I just did not want to like it. I don't play NWN, I bought it and tried to load it on my pc and just could not get it to work and have been pissed about the wasted money ever since lol. I only clicked on this story because I recognised your name, and at first I could not shake the image of Ceald as a Blood elf (since WOW is the only game I play, I'm a little bit narrow minded in that regard hehe), and let me say here in no uncertain terms that i DETEST blood elves. I hate their smarmy "ewwwww's" and "Uhhhh's", their pompous city their boring music, I hate everything about them apart from the fact that the male ones are actually very nice to look at...and even though I write naughty things about them, it's only because in my minds eye they don't "ewww" and "uggghhh" and listen to crap elevator music, and all I have to do to remind myself about how much i can't stand them, is type /pvp and sure enough, one of the smarmy, smug little turds will pop out of my screen and stab my toon senseless lol aaarrrrggghhh I hate them!...but even though I am rambling, there is a point to my rambles...and the point is that I had two very good reasons as to why I seriously did not want to like your story because not only was it about a game that I ultimately wasted my money on, but also it reminded me about a breed of toon that i honestly cannot stomache. But your writing is so good that by the end of the first paragraph I was interested enough to continue, and by the end of the first chapter I had forgotten all about the "ewwwww's" and "uhhhhh's" that make my skin crawl, and by the end of the second chapter I was absolutely convinced and now after reading the third chapter, I am entirely smitten with your characters, your story, your writing.

And while I never thought it would be possible, I admit that I even love this story more than "Someday never comes" in the originals section, which is bloody fantastic I might add, but has now been knocked off my favourite perch by your riveting tale. So seriously, and I know it's taken a me a long time to say this, but well done! Brilliant brilliant brilliant... I love it! I love everything about it.

Now...

Gimme more please :D ...
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From ANON - Anon on October 04, 2007
Ah, Reverie. LOL That can be such a pain to work with. And then of course "sleeping" with their eyes open tends to throw another wrench into things... Damned elves. ;-)

This is a great story so far. I'm not usually one for slash (they're often out of character or just plain bad), but I'm curious to see how it's handled. This is one that has been very well done. It flows smoothly, it's believable, and it's enjoyable. I noticed a few errors, usually places where there were duplicate words or words left out, but overall it's very good writing. One little grammar nitpic: you often use "lay/laying" where it should be "lie/lying." Common mistake, but I figured I'd point it out in case you cared. =)

I have a knee-jerk reaction every time he thinks of Valen as a demon. I want to scream "tiefling!" It's not necessarily a bad thing or something I dislike about the story. It's just a reaction that comes from so much time writing a PC that often reminds Valen he's 3/4 human to help ease his mind. Mostly I'm just curious whether it's reflecting some kind of prejudice, or a reaction to Valen's suspicious attitude in the beginning, or something else. =)

Anyway... Bravo! I look forward to reading more.
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From ANON - Asha Crone on October 04, 2007
I do enjoy this, and I like Valen love stories a great deal. ^_^ I hope you continue. Nothing I noted in the spelling and grammar department. I have to wonder when Valen will finally give in and grope...
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