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Reviews for Suikoden V - Alpha Prince

By : Fire37
  • From ANON - Anon on June 30, 2006
    You might be able to find pics at www.suikosource.com in the forums
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  • From Fire37 on June 30, 2006
    Thanks so much for all the reviews. Keep them coming and I will have another chapter out soon. I appreciate the constructive criticism, Streti. I agree mostly and have fixed Miakis's discription. (I'm still not happy with my physical descriptions...just laundry lists of body parts...ugh...) I'm unfortunately working from memory, my game borrowed at the moment, and not able to find as many pictures as I hoped online. I will include a flashback to Faroush and Sialeeds, but that will come after the next chapter. And I'm definitely planning on including Jeane! Blue Cloud, I'll point you towards Streti's "Suikoden II: Good Clean Fun" The second chapter has her as the focus.

    Thanks again. And I must say that this level of output won't last. In fact, by the end of next week, the story will be on a 2 month hiatus unfortunately. Going where there aren't any computers...at least not for me anyway... I'll continue again in September. But for now...I should get out a few more chapters before the break.
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  • From Streti on June 30, 2006
    Oops, sorry for the double post. That one thing more I had was about Miakis, or more precisely, her ass. I don't think the game quite supports the idea of nonexistent hips and flat ass, seeing how said features are well represented in the game, also taking note of her curious walking style.
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  • From Streti on June 30, 2006
    Whew, I see you've been very productive. Chapter 2 is a little weird, I guess it's intentional because of the Sun Rune. Chapter 3 was a great read again, I was surprised at how it went. The Prince's burst of rage felt a little out of character, even with the Rage Rune, but the later part about the Rage Rune's more subtle influence felt more natural, and a surprising plot element to bring the whole group into a group sex session. Many great scenes in there, like the idea of Lyon sensing the Prince is in trouble and rushing through the castle, _naked_ with Miakis, to the War Room, and then the "This is an emergency! He needs pussy right now!", hah. Also funny was the note about Josephine.

    The sex scene was elaborate and enjoyable, I don't think mine are really that much better. There's a few things I could comment on, though. "Lucretia didn’t think that anyone had come yet, not once." - I noticed that as well, much before it was mentioned, and I do think that the group's climaxes could have used a little more attention. Of course, you might have noticed that I'm fond of multiclimactic sex scenes. However, it seems that only The Prince, of course, and Lucretia were mentioned coming separately, with the others lumped together with one "they came". I especially felt sorry for Cius, who seemed to be pushed aside during the whole scene, and then I wasn't even sure if he had even got an orgasm out of it all. Lucretia's attitude during the fic is surprisingly rigid and uncompromising, especially considering the runic influence she, too, is under.

    Another note is that I'm not so sure if you should give so much attention to the apparent hugeness of the Prince's member. Of course, when the observers are female, the Dawn influence could alter their perception so that his piece seems much larger than it actually is, in comparison as well. However, when he already has the Dawn Rune going for him, I don't think he needs a giant cock.

    Heh, was there anything else, now? Nice messy cumshot scene in the end there, even though it felt more like they were getting sprayed by a cum hose ("neverending stream") than a spurting penis.

    In the end, enjoyed reading it and hope to see more if you've got the stamina! I'm a much slower writer than you, it seems...
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  • From ANON - Blue Cloud on June 29, 2006
    Not bad. Arshtat was a bit OOC calling Ferid a "dirty commoner" like that, but if it's just the Sun Rune acting up, I can believe that. With a good spellcheck you could probably catch the typos yourself, but it's fun to read and those are some great scenes with Miakis and Lyon satisfying the Prince. Count me in as another who liked the plot twist about all Runes affecting emotions in some way (Prince hitting the wall out of rage = Rage Rune, for one). Since it seems like Prince/Sialeeds is a winner, I guess that's what you'll run with next. However, if you feel the need to finally give Jeane some action (haven't read a story with her in it yet, which shocks me), I will not be disappointed. In fact, you write in Jeane at some point and I'll write whatever Suikoden lemon you want.

    Keep it up!
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 29, 2006
    Great story! I loved how you opened it with sex to set the theme, and then continued with a good story. The orgy in chapter 3 was very nicely done as well. I would like to see the Prince and Sialeeds refrence that you made, also more from Lucretia. You gave her an interesting sub-personality style that I would like to see more of.
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  • From McDohl on June 29, 2006
    I continue love the this story. Chapter 3 was really good. Especially for a first attempt at a lot of sex description. I really love your concept of the runes effecting emotions. I also love the personality of all the characters they feel real and true to the game. I love that the story has some humor. There was some small errors in chapter 3 mostly typing errors in some paces there seem to be words missing but it was still easy to read. I would love see a flashback that would go more into detail about the sexual relationship between Faroush and Sialeeds. I would also love to see Faroush/Bernadette and something Lym might be ok she always seem to like her big bro more than just a brother. Also Faroush/Lun or heck maybe even Faroush/Lun/Kisara. I’m also excited to see what happens after the events of chapter3. Keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 29, 2006
    I loved Chapter 3. I love the idea of runes effecting emotions.
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  • From McDohl on June 28, 2006
    I continue like the fact that even though The Prince is a sex fiend, sex isn't the only thing he thinks about , He actually cares for those around him. I also love the fact that he really does Love Lyon and doesn't just use her as a concubine. Another Great chapter keep them coming
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  • From ANON - GARO - Savior In The Dark on June 28, 2006
    ZOMG! Please make moar! I cant stop fapping.. lol

    Liek to see Faroush/Luserina, Faroush/Lymsleia, Faroush/Miakis, Faroush/Bernadette, Faroush/Cathari (oohh..sage)

    Its teh Harem! Keep it up. Rooting fer ya.
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  • From Fire37 on June 27, 2006
    Thank you for the reviews, I truly appreciate it. Inspired me to write another chapter.
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 27, 2006
    I love it so far. I like your take on the Prince & Lyon's relationship. I also like the references to Suikoden 4. The Dawn rune aspect is a great idea. I like idea that Sialeeds & The Prince had some type of sexual relationship, But I wish we could had seen how it started. also would love to seen the scene between The Prince & Luserina.I like the fact that your Prince is so confident of himself .I think you have some great plot elements to work with. I'll be looking forward to seeing more of your story. I just have a small request since you are already work with Kisara I would love see the Prince go after Lun or vice versa. Keep it coming.
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  • From Streti on June 27, 2006
    Wow. A great opening there, getting right to business. A sexy blowjob wakeup with a nice flashback to Syaleeds. The Prince in your story is quite different from mine, but it works very well. I had an inkling I might like this story by the title alone, and the first chapter sets a great premise indeed. Hope you continue! Enjoyed the references to Suikoden IV and was also a little surprised to see you make a reference to my story :)

    The Kisara scene was hot as well, although her getting "very wet" - isn't it a bit too soon for that? The peeing scene was funny, although I worried for a second that there would be some watersports, ew. The language was good as well. I spotted only one typo, Jeane without the e, and I almost made a similar one just now. The plot element with the Dawn rune was explained well, and it's a nice idea, too. Thanks for the reviews, and I'll be looking forward to see more of your story!
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