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Reviews for Suikoden V - Alpha Prince

By : Fire37

From ANON - Jeanes on October 13, 2006
Sorry, Mcdohl

I didn't mean to give that impression. In fact, I'm still writing it as this very moment and It will be done today. I'm just greedy for more reviews. I said yesterday it would be then or today and I ended up wanting to add more scenes. So thank you so much for your continued effort in giving me detailed reveiws. And thank you for those how have responded.
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From ANON - McDohl on October 13, 2006
Hey man, Please don't hold the update hostage. I understand that you want reviews to help you write, also it makes you feel good. But please don't punish the ones that try to give an detail review every chapter. The fact is that this site is lucky to have 10 new reviews a week for the whole site and sucks because it makes the Authors just want to give up.

Now if yoy don't mind,even though I have already gave a review for the last chapter I thought I would give a small review of the whole story.

The story is already about 135pages and it doesn't seem to have a end insight and thats a good thing in my eyes. The 1st. Chapter opens up with a well written nice little scene. As story makes its way few the 1.st few chapters you'll will notice subtle plot start to develop.
The story is filled with a-lot of funny moments. The characters have even stronger personalities than the game. There is also a good number of surprises thur out the chapters. There is also few great action scenes and a number of good sex scenes.Also as we found in the last chapter this story also invades atlest one other Suikoden game{Got to love that Viki} There is so much to this fic that it has to be the best Suikoden one. Jeanes has outdone himself time and time agian. Keep up the great work and please don't get discouraged.
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From ANON - Anon on October 13, 2006
I'll tell you what I like is the fact you're doing something most of Suikoden stories lack, You have a plot and not just a plot where the Prince is trying get a woman but one the revolves around the actual war and runes. Also you have taken the characters and made them even more likeable than the game wich is no small job as the Characters were all ready very likeable. You have also did a good job of adding comedy. Anyway I really like the story and can't wait for more
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From ANON - Anon on October 12, 2006
Hey, I love the Sialeeds stuff in chapter 15 and you love to see more Ilove the schemeing and want to more of that I really hope you going in a diffent path than the game and Have Sialeeds go back to the Prince's army,her death in the game was such an unnecessarily one. I also like the blicking rune thing.
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From ANON - Chrono on October 12, 2006
Love the fic and can't wait for a update
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From ANON - Viki is my dream woman on October 12, 2006
Can't wait to see more Viki
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From ANON - McDohl on October 12, 2006
Hey, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter hope you're able to get out tonight.
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From ANON - Anon on October 10, 2006
Woohoo for updates
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From ANON - Anon on October 09, 2006
Man it's seems the plot is getting little more dark not that that is a bad in fact that is a good thing.
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From ANON - Anon on October 09, 2006
Hey man this is the best story on here
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From flame13th on October 09, 2006
Nice one! x333 Three fingers salute! I wish there is a Faroush and Lym's sex scene though..

ZOMG! Im a pedophile! x3333
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From ANON - McDohl on October 09, 2006
Man you really out done yourself with this new chapter with a size 12 font it is close to 20pages long. It nice to see a return to the plot and can�t wait to see what Sialeeds is planning it�s good to see that she has some sort of plan, also the interaction between Her and the Godwin forces is nicely done . Also still love how Sialeeds is treating Alenia I got a laugh out the horse bit. As always anything with Kyle and Miakis is great although I think Jeane�s spell should run out soon those two already get enough of each other with out it though it does make for laugh.

The plot continues to be very intriguing I just can�t wait to see what the next turn will be. The part with blinking rune was very well done and was very interesting. Speaking of that part you did well at showing Sialeeds as a powerful rune user when she used her wind rune on the Neither gate assassin.

Now on to the Suikoden 4 stuff and Viki. Anything with Viki will make you laugh although I have always had the feeling she isn�t as clueless as she acts and that she just puts on like she�s clueless anyway back to the story it was very funny seeing her order the Prince around I got a huge laugh out of the lick your funstick scene. Also I like that you had the Prince being so concern about what happen to the others and especially the way he act about Lyon. Now for the Suikoden 4 stuff it�s good to see that your going to try add some more personality to that game. Although I like that game it just really seem dull to me and there was only a small amount of Characters that I seem to like, such as Kiki, Paula and Lino and his daughter. That game just seem to have to many plot holes and they didn�t seem to give the Characters any personality, although I heard they try to fix that with Suikoden tactics but I still have yet to play that game.

As for the way you seem to be doing Lazlo I like it considering that fact the Rune of punishment is a curse rune you think that it would have such an effect on him plus the rune has a dark nature to it when it�s not in the atonement stage plus just look what it did to Brandeau from what I heard about him he was once a noble pirate before the rune corrupt him. So I think it would be good to see the struggle between Lazlo and the rune so I like him taking a darker journey and maybe it will only because his friends that he doesn�t lose control, plus is it just me or would Paula and Lazlo would fit nicely together.

Can�t wait to see more I just have a small request when spot opens up for an action/fight scene could you make a spot for Jeane you have done a great job of showing here as a great seductress but she also is a great magic wielder so it would be great to see take part in a battle when the time comes.

As I said when I review Firebrand's story this has been a bad weekend and It has been good to lose myseft in your guys stories and take my mind of the things that be going since Saturday morning and I just want to thank you guys guys for putting the effort and time to kick out such great stories I can hardy wait to read the next update.
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From ANON - Viki is my dream woman on October 08, 2006
Hey love the new chapter it was very funny love the way you have made Viki I can't wait to what type of misadventures the Prince and Viki get themselves into. And you are right about Suikoden 4 needing somthing more
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From Fire37 on October 08, 2006
Ahhhhhh! Thank you so much! That was so hot...and it makes that scene so much better! I'm honored...
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From Streti on October 08, 2006
Mm, that was an enjoyable Chapter 15. It really did have a lot of everything, and I think it was balanced out well. Nice events going in the infirmary again! I was reading that and about Faylen, though, I couldn't help think if you're going to bring in another Star of Destiny to replace Faylon. Also, in that scene, there's a crucial comma missing when Silva enters and shakes her head. The scenes with the Blinking runes were quite interesting and imaginative, too.

Also, it's nice to see such a huge reference to Suikoden IV, which is one of my favorite games despite the general opinion. Lazlo's behavior was surprising but understandable, given the Rune of Punishment.

I'll touch briefly upon the earlier chapters, too. The tavern scene was quite exciting, although I felt it would have had enough momentum to develop on its own without Jeane's urging. The scene between Jeane and Zerase was interesting, though.

And then, the great bath scene. It really was an enjoyable read, but if there's something that was missing, I couldn't help but be disappointed with the lack of a cumshot scene, especially when the Prince continues by having quite a longish romp with Lyon without much fanfare. And that is why I decided to offer my own, if that is alright with you. It is intended to go between the lines 'Arshtat smiled at her son’s mischievous smirk and she laid back, her body so tired as she continued to pull on his long cock trying to get his hot cum.' and '“Besides…I think Lyon deserves a little attention…”' without any need for rewriting. And it would go as thus:

Faroush's eyes darted back to Arshtat's impressive babyfeeders.

"As for your other offer, dear mother... you don't know how long I've wanted to fuck those gorgeous tits of yours!"

"Ooh," she meowled, positively surprised, and stopped tugging on her son's lengthy manhood to press her breasts together into position. Faroush took a few steps forward to kneel over Arshtat, and Lyon followed her Prince, pressing her naked slippery body against his back and placing kiss after kiss on his skin with passion. Faroush then fed his huge prick into the Queen's slick cleavage and started wildly fucking his mother's slippery mammaries, while she encouraged him and gave his cockhead licks when she could. His massive cock easily extended from her jugs to her mouth, and even though Arshtat's lust had just recently been sated, she got excited by the sight and smell.

"Come on, Faroush! Give it to me! I want your cum!" she said, opened her mouth to its fullest and stuck out her tongue.

It was all too much for Faroush, and he gave in, exploding in his mind and sending a torrent of his jizz over the Queen's face. She had been expecting those huge, heavy balls to carry a big load, but she was still surprised of much goopy spooge her son was bathing her in. A lot was directed at her mouth, and she got a mouth's full of a taste of his spunk, until she couldn't swallow anymore and let the excess leak from her mouth, joining the sticky stuff already on her face and in her hair.

Meanwhile, as the Prince was still going through his orgasm, Lyon had taken to stroking his enormous cock and fondling his balls to coach his seed out to the last drop, which was a long time in coming. Faroush's cock was spurting endlessly, and the Queen's breasts were already covered, while the rest of his cum was running down her body.

When Faroush finally recovered and could look Arshat in the eye, she said to him, "Oh, you naughty boy... You've given back all the milk you suckled from these teats manyfold."

He could only flash a silly grin, but Lyon was already on the job, greedily lapping the Prince's milk from the Queen's skin. Faroush already felt a few jolts in his spent and slimy piece, when Lyon and his mother shared a few sticky wet kisses, and more when his bodyguard Arshat's round, cumcovered tits clean. Then she moved behind Faroush to lick Arshtat's lower body clean.

Arshtat touched Faroush's softening cock lightly and said, "At least let me clean this."

Faroush obliged and let her take his still large piece in her mouth to suck and lick off whatever fluids were left on it, and was surprised when Faroush started hardening again this soon. Finished cleaning him up, she asked him, "Are you sure you don't want to... you know..."

"You haven't recovered enough!" said Faroush and gave a quick laugh.

...aaand that's it. Feel free to do with this what you will. I won't mind if you don't give it a second thought, I've already had my fun with the passage. And even if you did use it, be free to edit and cut it in any way which strikes your fancy. Simply put, the passage is yours to use however you want, or by all means leave unused.

As always, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your story, even if my own writing pace is pitifully slow. It is absolutely one of the best Suikoden stories here.
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