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Reviews for Suikoden V - Alpha Prince

By : Fire37
  • From terpfen on December 30, 2009
    It's a shame this story's (apparently) been abandoned. It's really, really well done.

    A more "alpha" Freyjadour is a great twist on the character, and you write the new personality to great effect. You resisted the obvious route of just having him cut a swath of sex throughout Suikoden V's numerous attractive females, and instead have him show a little bit of deliberation and self-control. His relationship with Lyon is perfectly represented, and the supporting characters all get a little bit of "screen" time. Most enjoyable. You also have on your hands one of the best Frey/Arshtat "action" scenes in existence. Its payoff is well worth the paced build-up.

    There are some things I didn't like, however. The fic seemed to overextend itself with the introduction of Viki's time-teleportation. Did we really need Freyjadour traveling to each of the other Suikoden games? Lazlo, Riou, and Tir would have been better represented in their own stories, however short or long those might have been, and it seems like you were more interested in getting an idea out of your head and into writing than in continuing and concluding Freyjadour's sexcapades. Speaking of Viki, between the "funstick" line and the elephant thong silliness, I didn't like her characterization at all. She came off as unintelligent, to put it kindly. Lastly, I also thought Jeane's characterization was a little strange, with the random bit of aggression she showed to Kyle being unwarranted. I was also let down that you avoided what could have been an epic pairing in Freyjadour and Jeane. You seemed to hint at its inevitability a few times, but never went anywhere with it.

    But those are minor quibbles. Excellent stuff. It's a shame this will lay dormant. It really does deserve a revisitation, a tightened focus, and a conclusion... preferably with a thoroughly-fucked Jeane somewhere along the way.

    5/5.
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  • From ANON - steve austin on October 01, 2007
    Will this story be continued.
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 23, 2007
    I hope this story starts up again
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  • From ANON - Raven on May 10, 2007
    good story and great sex, bit fast moving in the story line through. keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 09, 2007
    I hope you start writing again soon.This story is so massive that I'd hate to see it not continue.
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  • From ANON - Anon on April 19, 2007
    Whatever happen to the Prince/Sialeeds flashback
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  • From ANON - Cid on April 13, 2007
    you're doing a great job. I can't wait to read the next chapter hope you're able to write it soon.
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  • From ANON - McDohl on April 06, 2007
    Man that sucks man I hope it's not to bad. I completely understand if you don't feel like typing. Take all the time you need.
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  • From Fire37 on April 06, 2007
    Broke my frellin fibula today playing soccer....I know that would hardly preclude me from being able to type but I'm sooo not in the mood for it.
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  • From Fire37 on April 05, 2007
    Thanks, Mcdohl.... I hadn't reallized I'd even turned that feature on. Its off now... Things are hectic in the run up to the end of the semester... But I'll put an effort into finishing up this next chapter today and tomorrow. Not gonna promise anything but I give it a 50/50 chance of happening.
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  • From McDohl on April 05, 2007
    I'm looking forward to seeing more of your Tir and what has made him the way he is I can't wait to see his backstory. I was going to suggest that you might get more comments if you make it where readers can make them without logging in. Of course then you might get some that spam with one line or one word or users that comment under more than just one name.
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  • From Crono on March 28, 2007
    Hey, thanks I thought that it might have been a little long and didn't make sense.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 26, 2007
    Dude that last chapter was so good that it was almost like a spin off. The battle was so great that I can't wait to see more of them. You said that you plan to give Tir some background by doing some flashbacks I hope this will these will include Odessa or the part at inn when she has that talk with Tir even her death would be cool to read.
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  • From Gta01 on March 26, 2007
    Don't worry about Catharai I'm willing to wait for her. As for the Godwin thing I meant to say that I would like to see somthing from thier leadership eyes or even their soiders just to give a little more insight to thier ideology and why do they think Falena would be better in their hands and maybe even thier plans for Falena. Also it would be cool to see a little more insight into Gizel and why he become a scheming and manipulative man. And as for the Godwin soiders why do they fight.

    I love the Sialeeds stuff but I see her as the outside looking in because of the fact she's only with them to help her Family.

    It would be cool to see what the Godwins think about her being on their side and if they really trust her at all.

    I would also like to say that I like how you've done Sialeeds so far I know that on some forums there a huge amount guys that hated her because of the so called betrayal but I feel that she's one of the most important female characters of Suikoden and that Falena would not have healed after the war if not for her. In a way she is to Falena as Odessa Silverberg is to The Toran Republic.
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  • From Fire37 on March 25, 2007
    Wow... I'm blown away by your responses. Thanks a lot.

    I'm glad you like the way I'm taking this battle. I'm definitely sticking around for a few chapters. Yea...I have a bad habit of going on tangents. My plan for this time hopping thing originally consisted of just five sex scenes involving the games...pop in pop back out...but then you see how I've ended up extending that. And now I reallize I like Tir so much I'm even going into some backstory of him. I'll show him before the onset of the Death rune when he was a much happier though cocky guy.

    I really appreciate all your guy's thoughts. I especially love your thoughts on the Tenkais, Chrono. Don't feel bad about going over long...I loved hearing all that. I think just the two of you could keep me going. Though there's going to be a slow down again though no where near as bad as before.

    GTa...I'll look into incorporating Catharai...I've always liked her...probably be a while....
    when you say Godwin's side... do you mean inside one of their heads....rather than just Sialeeds view..

    Thanks again.
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