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Reviews for Coming Home

By : Chaosdreamer
  • From ANON - pumking on November 05, 2006
    i dont get it. they had him. he was right thre. whys he end uo back in the happy burger place?
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  • From ANON - w00t on November 05, 2006
    omg!...a lever? why a lever? whats gonna happen?
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  • From ANON - wouldnt-u-like-2-no on November 05, 2006
    woo!thank you for updating!i love this thing. u rox! w00t!
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  • From ANON - Andrea on November 05, 2006
    Oh noes cliffhanger! You must write more, this story is soooo amazing! Sorry for the utterly gushing review but I love this story!
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 04, 2006
    This is a brilliant story, the premise is very original.

    Just an error I have to point out in the first line of chapter four 'Upon waking, James decided that he would gladly except unconsciousness' you've used the wrong word it should be accept not except.
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  • From ANON - Liliath on November 02, 2006
    zomg, I love this story to bits. cant wait til you update *sparkly eyes*
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  • From ANON - SakuraSan101 on October 28, 2006
    This is really good. I hope you continue it soon!
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  • From ANON - wouldnt-u-like-2-no on October 25, 2006
    oh wow! so hawt! and they havent even gotten to the good stuff yet! lol!
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  • From ANON - lol on October 25, 2006
    nice job on valtiels form! i can so see that in my head. and its kinda sexy in the oh so evil creepy way.
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  • From ANON - w00t on October 25, 2006
    woohoo! go val! man i hate eddie. and not because hes the fat guy! but because hes sooooooo anoying!
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  • From ANON - burnedHands on October 17, 2006
    absolutly amazing, and very griping can't wait to read more, please update soon.
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  • From ANON - Lilly Faust on October 17, 2006
    Really excellent story, I absolutely love it and enjoy reading it. James is a difficult character to write because he's not very reflective outwardly. I think you've done a superb job of expanding upon the somewhat limited characters the game provided and really taken them to a different depth.
    A few constructive criticisms though, you might want to carefully read over it again for small points of congruity. Like you mentioned that they threw their shoes away as they returned home, but then later James takes his shoes off as he sits down on the mattress. Also, when a character is delivering a monologue that contains several paragraphs, you don't close the qoutation marks until the end of the speech, but you do still leave them at the beginning of each paragraph. Hmm and I think you had a small error with a word at the very end of this chapter (the second, if the review thing doesn't specify) that the word "review" was used when I think you meant something else. Anyway, little things like that. I love it and am grateful to you for writing.
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  • From ANON - Zuka on October 15, 2006
    oh please mighty chaosdreamer please have mercy and update your wonderful story so we, your readers can marvel at how wonderful your stories are. i know i'm wierd but i love yor story ijust dont want you to give up on it. its sooooooooooooooo good. so please update for i will keep coming toreview every time you update.^_^
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  • From maiafay376 on October 10, 2006
    I like the protrayal of Valtiel in you fic. I know you kinda compared him with mine, but I stick strictly to SH3 version of him. I like this new direction really, its kinda creepy sexy--like Walter. Nice intro to pryamid head as well--strangely tender. The kiss was hot--nice job over all. ;)
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  • From ANON - sephykoi on October 09, 2006
    Left a review on shslash. *____* I'm mightily impressed with your writing, and the story. Can't wait for more!

    Toodles~

    ~the seph
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