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Reviews for Dark Descent

By : PyramidHead316

From ANON - Sarina on March 20, 2015
Hi there, was enjoying this, please do finish this story :-)r
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From ANON - Jimbo Jones on October 08, 2013
Sorry about missing the last chapter. I either must have completely forgotton the monster at the end of this chapter, or it's from one of the games I haven't played. Once more, I'm creeped out from just how well you've written the area. It seems so..... well, sometimes I don't 'feel' the discriptions of areas in stories, but here. I will have you know I have switched a flashlight on to shine underneth my bed and will be sleeping with the lights on because of you and the last two chapters. Excellent job.
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From ANON - Jimbo Jones on May 29, 2013
It's nice to read this and remember Silent Hill 3, since it was the first Silent Hill game I ever played. I also like the fact that you are putting in a few new bits into the story, i hate exact retellings. I got a little confused on the whole history bit in the drive to Silent Hill; but I may have forgotten some of it myself, and I wasn't exactly a close follower of the lore. Nice to see Lisa again, always thought se got the short end of the stick in the series. I look forward to reading future chapters, and I regret not finding this story earlier.
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From LadyLuck1990 on March 12, 2012
Ooohhh I want more please!
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From maiafay376 on September 08, 2007
It's been a while since I've reviewed on this site. For whatever reason, I just kept forgetting to check for updates. But I read your latest chapter, and I will say that I think it's the best written so far. I did like the dream sequence; it was both sensual and disgusting. I'm wondering how Heather and Alessa "met" though, and under what circumstances. I mean, if Alessa's good, then how was Heather made? I'm sure you'll provide a sound explanation, though :).

Overall, it was a nice, solid chapter with a little bit of everything. I wonder also, if Claudia and Alessa will become intimate...that would be interesting (hint hint). I'd like a little non-con to brighten my day.

Till I venture over here again,

~M
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From thePD1 on July 06, 2007
I.Am.Scared.Shitless.

0.O
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From maiafay376 on February 26, 2007
Well, finished reading yesterday, but then became distracted by other crits and some forum arguing over the Dresden Files...but like you care, lol.

Anyway, I get the vibe that you would prefer if I just give emotional feedback, not technical feedback--so I'll skip the nitpicking. Let me know if you want some suggestions regarding things I did notice during the initial read-through.

I liked this chapter. It had a good emotional flow to it, and very dark. I can relate to Alessa's aversion to the spinning blade bastards from hell--since I HATED them in the game and cowered in the corner or ran hysterically whenever they appeared. I liked the addition of Valtiel in the worm fight, he added some menace and also mystery to the overall plot. Makes one wonder what he's doing there and what he plans for Alessa. I realize in SH3 his goals were to bring about God, but I just wonder if he has other plans...

Nice tension and staging the battle scene BTW, but I hope poor Alessa isn't barbecuing her face on the floor since she's unconscious. Gotta keep her pretty damn it.
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From Olabelle on February 05, 2007
I have to admit I had a hard time getting into this story, the beginning didn't have anything that really pulled me in.

However, with each chapter I read, I started getting more and more engrossed in the story. Before I knew it, it was 4 am. I have absolutely fallen in love with this story. It's well written, creepy, and just...had me staring anxiously at the screen to find out what would happen next. I can't wait to read the next chapter.
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From maiafay376 on January 30, 2007
Sorry it's taken me so long to get over here...I've been busy with various things...and FFXII has officially kidnapped my brain and basic motor functions. I still have your gift fic in the works, and it's slightly amusing that you've included some things here in this chapter that I'll touch upon myself...

I like the face PH is in here...and not only relevant to James only. I consider him a more...freelance creature...more of a guardian and symbol of SH in general. So it was nice to see him pop in. I'm wondering if Valtiel will show up at some point...that would be nice as well.

Some things I like about this chapter: One would be the walnut part...it was cute and actually made me laugh aloud. I like the moths part as well...it makes me think of my own story (Not SH but my original one.) where I use moths as a focal point. Fuzzy and strangely...creepy. And the fact that they're so silent...is again...creepy. I like the fact you employ the game mechanics..finding items and using them--however, some parts get a little heavy handed with this, making it seem more clinical than emotional. Try to find a balance between story and the nuisances of the next plot point. Try to omit some things that may drag the story down...and not detail every little item or key. Focus on Alessa, her thoughts and feelings...rather than what door she'll unlock next.

All in all, good chapter, and look forward to the next.
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From ANON - anon on November 16, 2006
Thanks greatly for that very long explanation, pyramid.
as for the email, dont use an "i" there, it is an L in small letter. Just thought you should know because it is difficult for some people to see that.

As for the Walter fanbase versus Alessa fanbase, you are correct that many prefer to read about Walter, however, I find Alessa's character underappreciated and should warrant more attention.

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From maiafay376 on November 15, 2006
I would if he wanted actually. He and I are new aqauintences as of late, and have bounced ideas back and forth over our repective stories. However, I have my plate full with three authors on this board that I beta for--plus Blood Ties (my own fic) So, it would be a little tight fitting to add him (IF however, he even wanted me to beta.)

I edit my own work, and it took me a long while to 'grow' so-to-speak and realize on MY OWN that I needed work on the unecessary words and adjecitves. It did not matter how many reviewers screamed at me, ranted etc. It only made me defensive; until one day it finally clicked in my wee brain what I had issues with. Chances are, Pyramid realized what his weaknesses are, and is currently working on them. I still have issues myself, no one is perfect (seeing how none of us are published.) I realize that you mean well, and probably don't have access to his email (since it's hidden to all who are not logged in) so, I would wait until he contacts you before you leave anymore problems on his review board.

I feel bad clogging it up with this discussion, since there are many fics here that leave MUCH to be desired in terms of plot and just general prose style. I won't name them...but they speak for themselves.

I do want to point out the review issue. The main reason why I got the reviews I did, was because I all but planted a neon sign--lights blinking garishly and with monolithic arrow pointing to my story. Plus, I have some Resident Evil 'groupies' that come and read anything I write.

When I first posted here--hardly anyone reviewed. This is a slow traffic category, and even lazier readers...this is a problem stemming from lack of courtesty and respect for the authors (who work damn hard in providing entertainment for you folks)--a problem that affects the site as a whole. I don't believe the problems you mentioned had anything to do with his reviews... there are worse stories here with more reviews than he, and a crapload more grammar, typos...etc. Yet, I understand you only want to help, and therefore, I will say no more on the subject.

Anyway, apologies to you pyramid for ranting on your review board, but hey look at it this way, your count went up double within the last day...*laughs weakly* Ahem....leaving now.
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From ANON - anon on November 15, 2006
I am reviewing your other chapters now. I actually rated your story up since it was a 4 star earlier.
If you need to send me email or if you need a beta, let me know. I have left my email.
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From ANON - anon on November 15, 2006
to the reviewer above. Maybe you should help beta this story? Was just helping out by the way,because the writer needs help so she can get more reviews in the future from others.
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From ANON - Maiafay.... again on November 15, 2006
Okay, in response to the anon...and it irks me when people want to give constructive crits and don't leave their name.

Anyway, I think the author would appreciate it more, if critiques such as what you left were emailed privately--not displayed for all to see. Let the author correct things on his own without screaming (in prose form anyway) to eveyone else what is wrong with certain areas. A little correction is fine along with the positive, but what you did was more suited for a private discussion.

I know I try to convey this to my own readers--don't use my review board as a list for things wrong with my story--email those observations in private. Anyway, something to consider next time.
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From ANON - anon on November 15, 2006
I would like to go over the rest of your stuff and tell you what you need to fix. There is a reason why you do not get as many reviews as some people. With these small changes you will become to be a better writer in the near future. Only a good reviewer will point them out to you as good writing is crucial.
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