Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Invisible Wounds

By : Minwax
  • From ANON - Anon on May 15, 2010
    Do you have the beginning of chapter 2 anywhere? Even though I know this is from 2006 I still want to see it. This is a very good story!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Summer on May 05, 2009
    Great so far hope you continue.

    Summer
    Report Review

  • From maiafay376 on October 07, 2007
    Since you were so kind to provide that concrit for me, well, I HAVE to return the favor!

    My first review? It was kind. When I said ‘well-written’, it was because I was too lazy to point out every 'technical' mistake I saw. Again, when someone provides CC and they write themselves, they should ideally be better than the recipient of said CC.

    You are not.

    I will also note your profile here briefly. You say: "I'm trying lots of different styles of writting in the fics I'll be posting so please be kind."

    Well, isn't that interesting? Please be kind? Why? Especially to someone who can't practice what she preaches, and follows another author like a dog to almost every story she posts to what? Be a snot? And what the hell is Writting? I know this is fanfic, but damn, have some pride in what you write.

    Let's start with the very first sentence:

    >Metal grated on metal, clacking into place, immediately his elbow straightened, rugged fingers cupping the opposite fist.
    The crack of weapon-fire reverberated off the narrow canyon, precious ammunition pelting the ruddy, labor-worn meat of the advancing villager.
    At last the man, little older than Leon himself, pitched backward into the murky water, his fingers clawed up to the sky as, “Lord Saddler,” hissed from his lungs and rattled out of his mouth in pitiful supplication.
    Leon was beginning to think this Lord Saddler might be the man so disturbingly pictured under purple cowl in portraiture hung in so many of the villagers’ homes. Swiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his wrist, the blonde agent slogged onward through the water, emerging gratefully onto the dry bank. His relief could not persist long, however, broken by the throaty call of one of the men.
    This time, there was no supplication to a fashion blind lord.
    Fingering his ribs, he thought of the deadly way they wielded sickles.
    The calm lapping of water against lakeshore traveled on eerily quiet air after the clammer of the doors closing had settled into silence.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - lawre on May 18, 2007
    woah.... hadn't expected to like that piece... very sweet, and almost endearing, but yeah, i can get used to the barry/leon idea...

    thanks...
    Report Review

  • From ANON - erica on February 07, 2007
    I thought leon had blonde hair? u described him wit russet colored hair.
    this was a strange pairing and its pwp, but, you didnt mention barrys family.
    Report Review

  • From maiafay376 on February 06, 2007
    I personally don't consider Leon gay naturally...I think of him as flaming straight(without some 'incentive' to take a male lover.) but we are left to our own interpretations aren't we? This is well-written and flowed pretty good. Despite the odd pairing, (with Barry a little more dominate than I would think...considering Leon's personality.) the sex was well portrayed.

    Next time if you review me and have an issue, please give reasons for your thoughts and crits.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jimmythefag on December 15, 2006
    hm so you used the concept of the water fish in the lake huh? It read like it with the barnacles and all.
    Strange how they were all horny in that. Is there a reason?
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Kasmira on December 14, 2006
    Eeee. Wow. You're a fabulous writer. Please continue this. Like now.

    (And now that finals are over, I have nothing but time to wait for it :).)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - DarkHiei on December 08, 2006
    Wow, great job! You chose some really great, descriptive words and it adds alot to the story :) Hope to see more of this!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Thelma on December 07, 2006
    I wish Barry was uke. That would be KEWL!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Sc00byD00 on December 06, 2006
    I love Leon as uke. He should be forced in some way to be the bitch of the relationship. Interesting pair too. First story I read with a reference to Gaiden. Update soon please!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - anon2 on December 05, 2006
    oh honey no one is going to give you any cruel comments because you love christ like I do. Jesus loves me too. hehehehe
    gay sex baby! Barry style since he's married. That's the best kind to corrupt.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - sugoi writingu on December 05, 2006
    My god, this is like one of the best things I've read. Good pairing! I didn't know about Gaiden, but thanks for the wiki entry! I think i want to play it now!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - anon on December 04, 2006
    wow a Barry/Leon fanfic. that is a new one. :)
    Good work so far,however, you need to watch your punctuation and flow. Otherwise its still a good job on the strange pairing.
    How about tryiing out different pairings?
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Drowning on December 04, 2006
    This is beautiful! Never seen this pairing, but you made it so lovely...well done!
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!