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Reviews for Lezard's Triumph

By : LotornoMiko
  • From ANON - calisto-lynn on May 14, 2009
    the story is fantastic, i hope you will update it soon. i usually am not a fan of reading but your story really captured me and i couldnt let go of it until the very end hoping it was complete. you are amazing at balancing gentle moments and action, such a wornderfull read. keep it up!
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  • From LongTimeComing on October 27, 2007
    Are you by any chance posting this story on fanfiction.net as well? I ask because there is an exact copy of this story on that site, but with many more chapters already written.
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  • From Rezalda on June 06, 2007
    Awww...that was such an awesome chapter! The scenes and dialogue between Alicia and Rufus were so romantic! And I liked the bit about Arngrim, too. Feel like a third wheel much?

    The scene with the two Lenneths really showed how much she changed during the course of VP1. I liked seeing Lezard angry with her, because it shows that he, too, has changed...but not enough to not offer another place in his bed for the past Lenneth. XD

    I also liked how Lenneth was able to injure him by kicking his groin. It only goes to show that even after attaining godhood and becoming nearly invincible, men are still vulnerable in that one spot.

    Five stars, 10/10, and every other A+ grade I can think of.
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  • From Rezalda on May 24, 2007
    Well-written and wonderfully sexy! You really are getting better! I only have one thing to suggest.

    I noticed that during the scenes where things are beginning to heat up, you change from past to present tense. STOP IT. :p It throws off the reader when the author does things like that.

    Now, I understand that scenes like that are difficult to write. I have similar problems. I'm clumsy with my wording and I re-use words too much. The excitement of writing a sex scene causes me to get clumsy and turns my writing techniques sloppy. I don't switch tenses, but I do repeat actions sometimes, or get names wrong.

    My suggestion is write the scene as it comes naturally, and when you're done, look it over again for any switched tenses. If you correct those changes, trust me, it will sound a lot better.

    I hope that wasn't too strong. :)

    ~Celia
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  • From Rezalda on February 13, 2007
    Loving it more and more. You've clearly got a gift for writing, and you're awesome at probing into the depths of Lezard's twisted soul. I'll say it again: I really like how you don't suddenly make him have a change of heart and turn into this selfless hero type. Lezard is a very complex character, and I have a feeling I'll never come as close to expressing that complexity as you have.

    I am thoroughly enjoying this story, and am looking forward to the next installment!
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  • From ANON - gfu on January 09, 2007
    wow, this is really awsome. amazing job
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  • From Rezalda on January 06, 2007
    Oooh! I'm really liking this! I like it a lot! It's nice and serious, and even romantic at parts. I love the places where Rufus comforts Alicia. He's so sweet to her.

    I also like how you actually give Lezard some humanity. Just a little. You do it very well, without it being over the top, without being out of character.

    The only criticism I can think of is the use of the word "butt" in chapter 2. I know it is hard to think of good words to use, but it just seemed out of place. It sort of jumped out and drew a bit of a giggle from me.

    But honestly, I love your writing. Very descriptive, and you do a great job of explaining things to people who might not know a lot about Valkyrie Profile. At first I didn't like that you were "stealing" lines from the game, but after a while I started to like the fact that you were putting them into a different context. And to tell you the truth, I've done the same thing. I mean, you just can't help it when the game's got so many great lines that are just dying to be used again!

    So keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to reading more. :)
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