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Reviews for Tomb Raider: The Fat Man Chronicles

By : MorbidFantasy
  • From JackRetsevrah on January 24, 2010
    Very nice, I loved Lara insulting Gordo by saying the machine was better :D . The scene where she tries to get him to cum to get him off the phone was very hot. Looking forward to Lara starting to fight back, and to see if things could get any more humiliating for her.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 29, 2009
    I know I've already reviewed this story a bunch of times, and am now bordering on the stalkerish (lol), but here's my reconsidered thoughts after having read almost all 14 chapters - The best scene was the end of part 5 'hmmm...power' when: "Lara hissed in excruciating pain, and struggled to form words. Seeing this, Gordo, thumb the vibrator off.

    "you want to say something?" he asked, smiling sweetly

    "...th...that...all you ...got?...f...fuck...er..."

    Gordo's face went taut. Gagging Lara, he thumbed the vibrator to full capacity again, relishing in his victim's evident pain. Not stopping there, he started to pummel her crotch with the paddle, each strike hammering onto the end of the bulge in her pants.

    Little by little, the last two inches of the vibrator was nailed into Lara, spearing her past her cervix and into her belly. Her convulsions continued for a few seconds after her shorts finally lost the bulge, after which her capacity for enduring pain finally gave out, and she slid into blissful unconciousness".

    Totally awesome scene - I like how you protray Lara's fighting spirit and how Gordo smiles sweetly, then gets pissed off and his face tautens - great imagery!

    I'd like to see you go back to the bad-ass Lara of these early chapters, instead of having her as she is now - i.e. a little too compliant.

    Ideas for future chapters: maybe Lara should have some knowledge that Everest wants to get out of her (think information re. relics or tresure her father uncovered then hid from his old mate because he thought he'd put it to the wrong use) - so Everest's motivation is to get the information out of Lara; and he uses water-boarding, and other methods of coercion to do so.

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  • From ANON - Anon on December 03, 2009
    Nice chapter! Introducing Everest to the story is a great idea, and should allow you to open up the plot-line and put Lara in some new situations.

    Also your prose style is great. It really has a harsh edge about it (in a good way that adds to the realism of the non-con sex) - it kind of takes Lara out of her cartoonish-videogame context and makes her seem a lot more like a real character, with a lot of contradicting feelings about what's happening to her.

    My only critiques are: some of the narrative/dialogue needs tidying up, and I'd like to hear Lara's voice a little more often. Give her some one-liners - it's what she's famous for.

    Other than that, great work - I can't wait to see where you take this.
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  • From ANON - mikey on September 30, 2009
    nice nice you know part of me wants to cash you for waiting so long but idc to much im kinda with you being lazy so i understand how you feel so i wont be a hypocrit
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  • From ANON - Lara Lover on August 20, 2009
    Man i read ur lara story.Its very good.The blackmailing thing was awesome.
    But i think you should put a lot of anal sex for lara as she has a fine butt..

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  • From ANON - bitamin717 on July 21, 2009
    nice work morbid. Your characterisation of Lara/Gordo is still a strong-point, although intoducing a few new characters wouldn't be a bad thing either - just to freshen things up a bit - maybe even try writing a character who isn't just sadistic scum. As for your writing style: yeah, there are a few repeated sentence structures in your story, but your vocab is good, and I think most writers have issues with varying grammar, even some published novelists - all this elegant variation bs is overrated anyway. One thing I'd recommend for the sex scenes however is that you focus more on the sex and less on the torture. Maybe this is just personal preference but all the pain and humiliation you put Lara through is a bit much, and although it's pretty interesting to read, it's just not my cup of tea as far as adult fan fiction goes. And by the way, as a Brit myself I can assure you that the metric isn't catching on over here - most of the time we just use imperial like you yanks, so feel free to assail Lara with as many 8 inch dicks as you like. 5/5
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  • From modeac on July 17, 2009
    Good to see this story hasn't been forgotten.
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  • From ninesenshi on July 06, 2009
    Well, good to see you back from the allure of decadence. Hope to see more.
    SailorNemesis
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  • From modeac on February 17, 2009
    Things to do to Lara;

    Games of cricket, tennis, etc except the playing instruments don’t hit balls...
    Pony play- inspired by Lara having a horse in the second movie.
    Lara working herself to exhaustion in the gymnastics room... with no clothes on.
    Lara has various outfits from standard shorts and tank top the wetsuit from tr2, commando style outfit from tr3- it would be an idea for Gordo to compile a photo album of them as well as Lara stripping out of all of them.
    Sexon the ground in countless positions.
    Sex in streams, lakes, pools at ruins, etc.
    Join mile high club (sex on plane on way to mission).
    Forcing Lara to do missions naked, in state of undress or wearing weird outfits, i.e bondage clothing.
    Sex on missions on motorcycle, bent over motorcycle, in car, over car, on top of car...
    Tied from trees, pillars, etc.

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  • From modeac on January 30, 2009
    Twisted and brilliant!
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  • From JackRetsevrah on January 10, 2009
    I heard a real horror story about someone in who lived nearby who tried to pierce himself, but after reading SailorNemesis's post it occurred to me that I never even heard if he used disinfectant, so yeah, scratch that part of my last review. :)
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  • From ninesenshi on January 10, 2009
    Ok, just a few points. In general, I disagree with authors who ask their readers for guidance evey step of the way. It's nice to try and please the folks but, write your OWN story. We are here because we approve of what you write on your own. Second, for someone with disinfectant, good physical coordination and a high pain tolerance there is no problem with self piercing (especially the nipples and vaginal lips which have no large arteries). Lara qualifies in all these areas. Don't obsess over hyper-realism. You have missed that mark many times in sex scenes but it's ok because it's fun. As long as you don't become preposterous, you can get a little unrealistic and it works. One last point. I read these stories to see some non-fatal/disfiguring abuse of imaginary girls. I don't need or want them to escape in the end (at least on camera)and I certainly don't want a flash-forward assuring me that they do. I just want to read about sex and dominance. If you need to have Lara walk away in the last chapter, fine. But until then just concentrate on piercing and animals.
    Hope this helped.

    SailorNemesis (please refer to me by this handle)
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 09, 2009
    This is one of the best Tomb Raider stories I've read. Your vocabulary/style of writing is very well developed, and the subject matter of your story is, in my opinion, genuinely disturbing. Good job fleshing out Lara's character too, not to mention your solid characterisation of original characters. The only thing I'm not too keen on is the bestiality, but you seem to be moving away from that. I'm rating this five/five.
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  • From JackRetsevrah on January 09, 2009
    Nice work on the new chapter. I'm leaning toward McGee being killed, Gordo has so many depraved things worked out for Lara and it would be a shame if she didn't get to do some of them. Speaking of which, how would she get the piercing done without someone else finding out about it? If she does them herself she risks severe injury or death, Gordo should have thought about that.
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  • From ANON - Kenshin on January 08, 2009
    Cooool, man.

    Hmm....I'm feeling sorry for Lara at this point, whichever person she has to kill to extricate herself faster is my choice.
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