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Reviews for The Burning

By : Daishokaioshin
  • From Yamizenchou on September 23, 2008
    Very intriquing over all. It's rather interesting to have to follow three interwoven stories, each revolving around three characters. Hope to read more.
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  • From Yamizenchou on September 23, 2008
    I think there's a couple of pictures that were either inspired by this chapter or perhaps inspired you.

    http://www.aerisdies.com/cats/cat1134img37.html
    http://www.aerisdies.com/cats/cat1134img53.html
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  • From ANON - KL on June 12, 2008
    Just read the other reviews and to let you know not to be put off at all by it. Your style is similar to Steven Eriksson and he admits that this sort of writing is an aquired taste.
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  • From ANON - KL on June 12, 2008
    Absolutely loved all of this!

    I really hope you'll continue it.
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  • From Rifash on April 17, 2007
    I've been reading this fic ever since the beginning, and I do have to say that you've been doing a good (if not great for that matter) job on it and your efforts totally reflect on the outstanding fic.

    The sex scenes really vary from chapter to chapter, and the intensity really becomes inconsistent. My favorite one was when Whitemane was molesting herself, just because every action was a lot more detailed and articulate in comparison to when Arsika or Arisaka (I can never remember what her name is) was raped by tentacles all you kinda wrote was, 'She reached an orgasm'. Surely, it wasn't that bland, but the physical aspects when she orgasmed really wasn't explicit to give me that sense of heightened awareness.

    I guess what I am trying to say is, well, be consistent with the smut. If your sex scenes are going to be thorough and well thought out, hey, keep it that way because it really blows when the next sex scene is worse off by a whole margin. But one thing to praise you with is that your descriptions of the overall atmosphere regarding surroundings, human thoughts, human emotions, ecetera are very well done. You seemed to do the other characters, including Whitemane, better than you did the three Blood Elves.

    Another thing... I don't want to start sounding mean, but the constant introduction of new characters is becoming a bit aggravating. Your entire story (excluding Morgraine and Whitemane) are all original characters, and your personal characters do take time getting used to and we also watch them develop slowly as more of your chapters come out. This is where you start going a bit wild.

    First, I had to absorb Arsika's character and trying to define how she's like. I cannot expect only one chapter's worth would be suffice, but the next chapter introduced Arwynn and Aerai, which takes me back to square one. Then the weird child figure, who I assume is a main character. What really made me go 'WTF' was the presence of the Undead Warrior the very next chapter. Where the hell did he come from? Don't answer that. Then there was Art, another character that is implied that he will hold significant impact so I have to focus on him, too. Okay, so that is six. But wait, there is more. The Scarlet Chaplain Mint Evarise plays a critical supporting role as well, but by the amount of time you spent elaborating on her, I think she is another main character that would play greatly on the story.

    So now you have 3 parties. The blood elf ladies; Mint; and that child like figure with Art and Ramon, which represent protagonist, sub-protagonist (if that term exists) and antagonists respectively. I've settled it like this, and now I am at a very comfortable pace after absorbing a great, great, if not ridiculously great, amount of information on all the characters you've presented. Now you've established your characters and the characteristics and stuff, I cannot fucking believe at chapter 20 there are still more characters being introduced.

    And it's only part 1 damn it!

    Seriously, what the hell is going on? It's ridiculous. I constantly find myself going back to square one trying to know your characters that I lost track of your story. The plot has not been advancing, all I know are that there are a lot of characters in your fiction, they somehow have a sense of connection with each other (or so it seems) and nothing seems to get done ever since Arsika got corrupted. Really, after the 3rd of 4th chapter, all I have been seeing are new people popping out of nowhere with great deal of description so I have confidence in your imaginative abilities.

    Just get your plot moving and stop with the introduction of new characters, because at this rate your story is just going to be a legion of original characters. This story, despite the wonderful descriptions, is too painfully slow to an extent where people can lose interest because nothing is getting done.

    Sorry for such a long review. Think of it as a message with 20 chapters' worth.

    Thanks for reading.


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  • From thePD1 on April 05, 2007
    Good lord, finish this O.o
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