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Reviews for Prisoner of Will

By : BoomBoom
  • From jackalman22 on July 20, 2007
    I confess that I have never played either of the Outbreak games, although the names of the characters are not unfamiliar to me. Alas, however, extensive background in Outbreak was not necessary for the enjoyment of this piece. Despite the characters, it was fairly accessible, so well done.

    The writing itself is very strong. The language seems to flow very well, and you certainly have a way with both wording and pacing. Again, well done in that regard. The characterization of Wesker seemed fairly appropriate, so I had no complaints there. However, the use of the present tense was kind of awkward. I tend to stick to the past tense myself, so whenever I read present tense pieces, it takes me a while to adjust. Be careful in the future; you made the present tense work fairly well, but in my opinion it tends to be clunky and harder to work with. Also, taking the perspective of Wesker in the first person was interesting. It's not something that's typically done, so it was refreshing to see.

    The sex scene, while lacking the excessive smut inherent in other fics, was very appropriate considering the overall mood and tone. It was very fitting, and fairly arousing, so well done once again.

    On a final note, all I have to say is watch out for typos, among other things. One of the last lines in the fic, arguably one of the more important lines "I Prisoner to my own will." is clearly botched, so be wary. Another thing: be careful when switching perspective between characters. Wesker is told from the first person, but George Hamilton's isn't. Consistency is important, so again, be careful.

    All in all, good job. Keep up the good work. =)

    Regards,
    jm
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