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Reviews for Lilium

By : Halamee2559
  • From bloodravyn on June 25, 2011
    oooh, who's next?!
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  • From ANON - DaCarHorn on April 21, 2011
    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY! Your writing style is amazing, your plot is amazing and the sex is amazing so (cue desperate begging on knees) PLOX update!!!

    P.S. Sorry if this seemed desperate but I really have nothing much else to say about how good your story is, especially since it ranks like at the top of my list of best smuts EVAR! Only a few typos and grammatical errors here and there but nothing much else so please forgive my seemingly retarded ranting.
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  • From ANON - DaCarHorn on April 21, 2011
    Omfg...

    I read quite a lot and as such usually have some sort of critique or advice to give authors. But your masterpiece right here, is so good that I have really run out of words to describe it. I mean I REALLY want to start writing like a thousand words about how EPIC your story is but currently my brain is fried from the sexiness of your story. I PRAY, HOPE and WISH that you continue this AMAZING story and update soon please! I LOVE THIS!
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  • From ANON - aeroprime on July 24, 2010
    Hmmm. This is a pretty good story and a hot read. I would very much like to see this continued soon. :)
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  • From ANON - JSD on August 18, 2009
    After strutting on the streets looking for someone to have her way with, Tina ends up on the receiving end and her mouth faces the biggest challenge has she ever sucked on.

    And on Zack Island Hitomi discovers her hidden sexual powers taking on her first gangbang.

    I love a good writen smut and with the DOA girls involved it cant go wrong. There's also a potential for a great story development. I know Kasumi would be your main focus from now on but i hope sexual girls like Lisa and Christie made an appearance also. And i too would like more of Tina, despite being greatly dominated and penetrated she sucks the fat guy dry and then asks for more.




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  • From ANON - V on July 04, 2009
    Oh, as for content, I'd definately like to see more of Tina's life now that the Lilium has affected her on what appears to be a permanent basis.
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  • From ANON - V on July 04, 2009
    Wow. I liked it the first time, but holy hell, this is way, WAY hotter. Keep it up!
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  • From ANON - Steve on July 02, 2009
    I must say this is one of the most hardcore sex fics I've read

    First i like you start with the portrayal of the girls, what they wear and how they look

    I especially liked the oral in Tina chapter, pretty fitting for a slut like Tina, i like how she puked gaging on the fat cock, that scene was both funny and arousing at the same time

    I sure hope you put another scene with her on New Zack Island, wearing some of her slutty skimpy bikinis!!!
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  • From Halamee2559 on June 24, 2009
    Hello everyone! Just letting you know that I haven't died or anything. I'm currently re-writing chapters 1 and 2 of this story, as well as going over a rough draft of ch.3 for Kasumi. I think from that point forward I'm going to focus the story more around her from now on, and have the rest of the girls as bonus chapters when the spotlight isn't on Kasumi.

    Keep the reviews coming, so I know that people still want to read this.
    ^^_^^
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  • From ANON - Major Mike Powell III on December 28, 2008
    Well, well, soldier...

    Now...this is interesting, to say the least.
    Tina gettin' gangbanged, pretty cool, even though it ain't somethin' I haven't read before.
    But Hitomi gettin' it good, too? Meh...I honestly found it kinda repetitive, even if there was 1 more guy included. And, I've ALSO read the exact same thing on other fandoms.

    I'd appreciate it if there were some good ol' shoujo-ai/yuri AW3SOME!-ness in future chapters. Specially with Kasumi-chan.

    So, that's all for now.
    Update ASAP! That's an order!

    Semper-Fi! Carry on!
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 09, 2008
    Hope the next fan fic would be kasumi!
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  • From ANON - Helljumper 112358 on June 08, 2008
    Good, very good. Kasumi next please.... and hey, drop me an email if your still writing this.
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  • From Starbuster on March 17, 2008
    God knows anything with Hitomi gives me a boner. I liked the way this was written, no doubts about that, and I have this story bookmarked for future boners.

    However, I do believe in concrit, and I'm not going to waste anyone's time with how much I love this story.

    If you don't have a beta reader, you should probably get one. There were a few grammatical incorrections throughout the story, as well as sentence errors that made it slightly distracting. Obviously, it's not so serious that my eyes bled and I gave up reading altogether, but betas do come in handy if you want to write something decent -- even if it's just smut.

    This next thing is just a personal peeve of mine, but the constant "Slrrp"s and "Slcch"s kind of distracts me from the fic itself. I don't like hearing vag farts irl, and I don't like reading vag farts in fanfiction. (Or queefs or squishies or whatever you want to call them.)

    Annnd as for the next chapter? I think you should write about Kokoro. She's a geisha in training, after all. It'd be interesting.

    Mayu being involved in this would be some kinda hot stuff, too.


    Cheers.
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 12, 2008
    Great chapter! Maybe next you could do a double with Lei Fang and Kokoro.
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  • From ANON - Arc Fear on March 12, 2008
    This fanfic is so wicked awesome. By reading it, It made my whole day great. I got to wait for the other girls.
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