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Reviews for Suikoden V - Secrets under the Sun

By : Streti
  • From lackjack on October 21, 2009
    Finally figured out how to register and leave a review, yeesh, you definitely deserve them....this story as with basically all your others is head and shoulders (and various other body parts best left unsaid) above the rest, wow. Granted, chicks with dicks isn't Shakespeare, but you give more character to the cast of Suikoden then the games themselves...Subala and Lun's roughneck accents come through clearly, even Jeane's slow, seductive, speech has a voice you can almost hear. The sentence structure and narrative changes are all good and it's never confusing, and only a few grammatical problems I notice which are probably my personal preference if anything....actually I guess this sounds more like proofreading than reviewing, never mind.

    Anyways, you write the most engaging stories I find on here, the sex comes off as a part of the characters themselves, not men and women being built up and then they going through generic sex, but being defined during the acts themselves, if that makes sense? A very fun read, without a doubt.
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  • From Streti on September 01, 2009
    Hehe, thanks for your comprehensive comment, JACE! You're absolutely right that the story was in need of a proofread and it has now been updated. The worst part is, I already fixed some of the Roog/Rahal confusion before! I had a lot of trouble mixing them up.
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  • From bonemaster on August 31, 2009
    Throughout the entire story each character is believably portrayed based
    on their appearance and appeal in the game.
    Lun & Jeane being very straight forward and naughty, Viki & Fuyo abit shy yet curious,
    Lorelai independent and pending, Roog & Rahal always standby and
    Subala just plain wild and somewhat awkward.

    The wrap up is epic and excessively cummy! In a good way.
    Such a long chapter without nothing but oral cock penetration and the mandatory load
    of messy cumshots. I love the increased amount of spunk and number of releases in your
    later stories. Perhaps it's on the verge of being ridiculous but what do we know about
    the suikoden world and their people? It's just fictional anyway.

    Naturally my favourite part is Fuyo getting showered and also Lun's determined
    milking of Lorelai's and Viki's members. Lun actually appear to be the most
    experienced participant of the bunch even surpassing Jeane.
    Perhaps her mother has tutored her? :P This story has really opened my eyes to
    Viki and Lorelai and on a larger scale also futa. I still just can't seem to get them
    dickgirls right though. :/

    You tend to mix up the character's names every now and then in your stories
    and I'd suggest that you read the later parts involving Rahal and Roog because there
    are a few mix-ups going on. Towards the end with Lun in the picture I couldn't tell if
    Fuyo's boyfriend was Rahal or Roog. It's a minor issue but should probably be corrected.

    ***

    Went back and looked for them and came up with these examples:

    "Anything for Rahal. And Fuyo, you too," said Rahal (not sure of this one though?)

    A fire burned inside Rahal, watching the cum-splattered Fuyo, who turned her cute, round eyes towards him,
    already a mess of sperm and expecting more from him. The only way to quench the fire was to splash her,
    and he wanted nothing more than to add his load to the white splashes over Rahal's beautiful lover.

    "Lun! You look... incredible!" exclaimed Rahal, taking in the sight of his sexy
    girlfriend plastered with spooge.


    ***

    Excellent story all in all! Too bad it has come to and end. I'll surely be reading it every
    now and then for inspiration. Thanks for sharing!

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  • From WotanAnubis on September 14, 2008
    Lots and lots of fucking here, which I admit isn't always my thing, but it's done skillfully enough (to say the very least). Of course I'm completely on board with all the futanari and I'm happy to see some Subala/Lun even if they aren't exclusive.

    My only real criticism is that sometimes it's difficult to figure out who's doing what to who, especially in the Subala/Lun/Roog threesome early in chapter four. Then again, that could just be a failure of my imagination.
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 09, 2008
    Damn, I could really get behind Lun if you know what I mean.
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  • From ANON - AnoLemWri on May 31, 2008
    This must be the first time I've ever seen spooge-hairstyling, ever.

    I'm honestly amused, in a very good way.
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  • From ANON - ghost of J on May 25, 2008
    Chapter 5: The Lun/Roog/Rahal/Subala foursome is so hot and nicely detailed though the position where they're all piling up is almost comical. Nice messy finish however and from what I remember Subala still has at least one load to go.. so do Viki and Lorelai? I'd really like to see what will become of Jeane and Fuyo's intercourse. Perhaps they're waiting for someone to catch up? I'm glad you picked it up again and I will be even happier if you continue in a not too distant future!
    All the best pal!
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  • From Streti on September 26, 2007
    Thanks again for the reviews. Unfortunately, it might take a while again for the next chapter. The amount of details might vary from the chapter to chapter depending on what I want to focus on and also my mood when writing. The amount of dialogue I have noted by myself, but it's good to have it pointed out separately. Now I might remember to focus on dialogue a little more.
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  • From ANON - blah blah on September 23, 2007
    Great chapter! I look forward to the next!
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  • From ANON - steve008 on September 16, 2007
    Did you write this chapter before or after you read my review? Because the detail definitely increased in part 4. I love all the little things you put into your stories, like the scene when Viki and Lorelei are going at it, and you describe how their, shall we say, new anatomy is flopping up and down. Stuff like that really adds to the entire story. A little more dialog between the characters would be good, but that's just a personal preference.


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  • From ANON - Anon on September 15, 2007
    Great continuation! Lun is turning out to be just as wild as her momma. Your grammar was perfect, and I loved the pace. I sort of agree with what steve008 said, more detail would be nice. I noticed a bit more than usual in this chapter, so I've got no complaints.

    We're going to see more of Jeane and Fuyo though, right?
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  • From ANON - steve008 on September 13, 2007
    Eh, interesting story. I wish you'd go into greater detail describing some of the sex though.
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  • From ANON - blah blah on September 09, 2007
    One thing I would love to see would be a situation where Fuyo was handling a bunch of the others at once. Like Jessica in your DQ8 story.

    Also, maybe you could stage a scene where Rahal and Roog team up on one of the girls. Preferably Lun or Subala.

    Criticism? Well, sometimes you mix up pronouns. Like, you'll say "his" when you mean "hers." Also, you called characters by the wrong name once or twice. Other than that, this story (like most of your others) is excellent.
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 08, 2007
    Let's see. Try as I might, I can't find any flaws regarding your writing style. It's right up my alley.

    As far as content, I'd love to see a little DP involving Jeane, Viki, and Lorelei. Maybe either Lun or Fuyo could have a turn with both Roog and Rahal.

    And for future reference, I would absolutely love to see Lyon and/or Miakis get in on the fun. If not in this story, eventually.

    All in all, you're Stories are my all time favorites. And trust me, even though most of them are lazy, inconsiderate jerks who won't even bother to mention it via comment, Lots of people would definitely agree with me.
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  • From Streti on September 08, 2007
    If you hope for updates, I would suggest that you review more thoroughly with notes on what was good and what you would hope more of. Criticism could also be interesting.
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