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Reviews for The Love of the Sword

By : Luxin
  • From WotanAnubis on October 12, 2007
    Fire Emblem yuri! Always good. I approve.

    However, there are a couple of things I'd like to point out.

    Firstly, you switch tenses a few times near the beginning of the fic. It's nothing major and easily fixed, but it's still a bit jarring.

    Secondly, the fic is very telling rather than showing. It's very hard to pin down for me, but the fic is very "this happened, then this happened, then this happened". It doesn't really flow.

    Thirdly, even though this fic is written mostly from Marisa's POV we get little insight into what's going on in her head. Sure, she states her conclusions out loud (by the way... is that something people do in reality? Especially people as introverted as Marisa?), but we don't know how she got there. Of course, this might have been your intention all along, so perhaps I shouldn't say anything.

    Anyways, in spite of my complaining, I still rather enjoyed the fic and hope you'll write more.
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