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Reviews for Maid-Squire Varrot

By : salarta
  • From ANON - Ice Burn on August 11, 2009
    Ralteeeeese, where are you? You gave up on the internet? I haven't seen you in weeks.
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  • From ANON - Ice Burn on June 15, 2009
    Do I need to introduce myself, Raltese?
    Okay, it's been a while, so I pulled a double and read chap. 10 & 11.
    10 started very IC with Maximillian and co., liked the "subtle" hinting he had something to do with her "naturally fresh beauty".
    Then began the good part.
    To be honest, I literally thought to myself LOLWUT when Selvaria grabs Varrot, then just lol'd when she spanked her. Then the dickings started. I'm disappointed with the lack of fleshing (lol dirty mind) out of the gangbang scene. It could of been a chapter in and off itself if you were having a particularly randy day. Having fucking Ty there pissed me off, I just don't like the guy. Welkin made me lol so hard, it totally evaporated the mood and atmosphere you had going. I think that's a good thing, it's friggin Welkin here.
    Also, Selvaria's arrogance and competitiveness, even to the point of gangbanging her entire combat retinue just to prove to one person she was superior, is probably the most memorable part of the whole story, up to the point where she passes out while taunting her competition.
    Chapter 11 was mildly predictable, but it had hot identical triplets lesbian wincest, so who gives a flying fuck. The only way it could of gotten better would be bukkake and Vyse "acidentally" dropping a live grenade in the tent, forcing everyone to run outside in all their slimy shiny glory. A caveat wit this chapter is your aforementioned lack of experience with Vyse and Aika. As someone who has played some of their home game, I can say VC didn't quite capture them as well as it could have.
    Alright, that's that. Not as venomous as I thought it would be, probably because I have replaced my unsweetened hot tea with ice cold Samuel Adams raspberry wiertbier. Good stuff, the summer variety pack. Anyway, keep it up, Raltese, and do try to bring Selvaria back for some goofy reason. Rematch or some such, and make sure it's funny. Or just have moar Welkin saying totally unrelated things that ruin the mood.
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  • From salarta on June 06, 2009
    Hi again Endless! I'm glad to see I still have your interest, especially after the long gap between chapters this time.

    1. There are some things I feel shouldn't be answered in stories for various reasons, but one thing I feel I CAN say is that in my story, it's not merely exposure to ragnite that creates a Valkyria. Practically everyone in the world, especially Darcsen, would be Valkyria if that's all it took. In my story, Varrot only became one because of the specific way she was exposed to ragnite. Also less control; the Valkyria in the game can control their powers at will after they've unleashed them once, but Varrot's powers are brand new.
    2. I hadn't thought of saying anything more about that part... but I'll think about if there's more.
    3. There will most assuredly be more going on with her than sex sex sex in coming chapters.
    4. I'm leaving my options open there at the moment; I think the point where that would factor in is several chapters away. But I will definitely say, there's something special I have in mind when I start working with Valkyria in general and not Varrot specifically.
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  • From ANON - EndlessraiN on June 05, 2009
    Good to see another chapter up. Comment and question time: (Will be about some of the previous chapters)
    1. You make it such that Valkyria are "made" when a person is exposed to ragnite for a long period. Does that mean the experiments done on Selvaria were done in order to turn her into one? What I mean is, was Selvaria NOT born as a Valkyria in this story?
    2. The whole "Welkin told Juno to go to his quarters" thing... Will you ever expound on that?
    3. It's good to know that you intend to bring back Varrot's character.
    4. Will you ever introduce the other Valkyria? (not naming for "spoiler" purposes)
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  • From salarta on April 24, 2009
    Hey EndlessraiN

    1. The experiments themselves is true; Maximilian ordering them is something I added in, expecting that people who read this would know the game doesn't say he did. I'll consider adding an Author's Note to make that clearer since now I'm a little concerned I might be accidentally spreading misinfo about the game's story there.
    2. This is why I feel terrible for not having the next chapter up yet; I intended chapter 11 to explain that, how it happened and why it's so particularly different. I don't want to say too much here, but I will expressly state that it has nothing to do with her heritage/genetics, though it does have something to do with how I think the Valkyrur may have become how they are through evolution.
    3. This one's a game spoiler, and a certain aspect of the game spoiler in question is something I want to write a later chapter about. I didn't want to use specifics in case people who read this haven't gotten to that part of the game yet.
    4. I'll check that part... anything more specific you can say, though? If it's just that it seems odd that his interests would change from saving a comrade to sex, that's another thing that will be explained in the next chapter when I get the chance to write and post it.

    I'm glad you liked it, and more importantly that you gave specific thoughts about it. Those mean a lot to me.

    As for Cordelia? Part of why there's nothing of her (yet) is because you don't see a whole lot of her, and she's not one of the extra playable characters. Ellet has the same problem, and Varrot does but not as much as she used to (after all, there's this huge fic by me and a few pieces of art that have her as part of it). There will certainly be at least something in the future with Cordelia.
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  • From ANON - EndlessraiN on April 24, 2009
    Read a few chapters this time, and I have a few questions/comments...
    1. The whole "Maximillian ordered the experiments on her" thing... Did you just add this to the plot? Coz I beat the game and don't recall such information...
    2. Chapter 10... What? What just happened? I'm talking about the whole "blond, pink, sex goddess/Valkyria" that Varrot turned into... It wasn't BAD or anything (a really original and unique concept in fact), but I just found it really...awkward. Although the medic scene at the end of the chapter made me laugh my ass off...
    3. Regarding this part: "I don't care! I'm not going to stand by and watch someone I care about get treated like that. Not after..." Pushing past that dark memory....
    What was he talking about? Was that revealed in another chapter (I skipped a few) or will that be revealed way later?
    4. I found it odd how Welkin dashes to the field in order to save her and then the next scene he pops up in, she's sucking him off... It was just... a really big scene change. Seemed odd to me.

    All in all, great story. Really hoping to see more of this.

    TO ALL VC FANS WHO SEE THIS: A question: Why are there no fics with Princess Cordelia? To me, it seems that she's rather fascinated by Welkin.
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  • From salarta on April 22, 2009
    The lack of guy characters is probably one of my biggest faults, and a lot of it is because I'm more into female characters than male ones. So far, it's been working with the characters I feel up for writing and comfortable with, and planning to do add-on chapters later for other characters I passed by in the overall story arc.

    Up to this point, Varrot's service has been a bit harsh toward her, but I intend for that to turn around for the better in the coming chapters. I say that mostly because I realize the slant it currently has may get to people.
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  • From ANON - EndlessraiN on April 22, 2009
    I browsed through the chapters you have so far (didn't READ them, will do that when I have more time and possibly give a more detailed review), and I must say that this is a great story! (well, from what I can see anyway)
    I've recently gotten into Valkyria Chronicles and I really like the character designs (especially Varrot, she's one of my favorites... too bad she doesn't do much), and seeing a nice long fic like this really lifted my spirits.

    Anyway, from what I've seen through my skimming, I noticed how you say she's their "reason to fight" or maybe even a "morale booster" of sorts. Despite saying how she's supposed to boost the morale of Squad 7, you're only making her spend time with women. (excluding a few chapters where she was actually with men) The men make a majority of the squad, and not seeing them get in on the action is a little... odd to say the least. I'm just hoping to see more chapters where the males are involved...
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  • From salarta on March 05, 2009
    I've said this to bla and ninesenshi already, but thanks for the reviews. I appreciate hearing if people are enjoying the story, along with what's working and what isn't, what could've used more development, etc.
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  • From Solarn on March 05, 2009
    This story makes me want to kill someone.
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  • From ninesenshi on March 03, 2009
    More good stuff. Glad you are back to this story.
    SailorNemesis
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  • From ANON - YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS, RALTESE on February 22, 2009
    Not bad, even though you came up a little short. But the wardrobe malfunction and the beach scene made up for the lacking veggie play.
    3 out of 4 pylons for you.
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  • From salarta on December 30, 2008
    Thanks for the support! Ninesenshi, do I know you from elsewhere?

    I'll have a chapter that includes them eventually, Writefag, I want to wait until it feels like it's at the right point in the arc.
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  • From ninesenshi on December 25, 2008
    Good to see some Salarta again. Nice concept for a hentai of a great game. Hope to see more chapters soon. Keep writing.
    SailorNemesis
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  • From Writefag on December 25, 2008
    Holy crap this is awesome, 5/5. Don't forget to add a talk with Nadine/Lynn and some stuttering Dallas in there, too.
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