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Reviews for Suikoden - Turning Tides

By : salarta
  • From Streti on March 06, 2009
    Well, I did read the second chapter, and it's better. The beginning is still unpleasant, but after that is done with, the rest of the story is mostly light-hearted fun, and even elements brought over from the first chapter work better because they're in a different context, like Millia and Thrash.

    In the first chapter, the trouble is that Kraze is the "hero", the driving force, and the women are subjects, helpless victims, so the first chapter comes off as "Kraze's story". The "revenge twist" at the end provides no satisfaction, because it doesn't carry any weight against the long vileness that precedes it.
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  • From salarta on March 01, 2009
    Hi Streti!

    If you don't want to read it, don't force yourself to. I'm NOT saying "if you don't like it then go away," I like constructive criticism, I'm only saying that if you're struggling with trying to read the story, you shouldn't be making yourself do so. The next part is more about your interpretation of my intentions with the story, but before what I say, I want to note it IS valuable to hear what you've said on this because it might mean that somewhere in the story it leads you the wrong way. I don't intend for anyone to sympathize with Kraze. He's a chauvinistic prick.

    I don't think you'll like the second chapter much, because while the premise is different, a lot of the same material carries over. Again, I'm only saying this because if you're having trouble reading it, I don't feel that you should be forcing yourself to. Reading a story shouldn't feel like a chore.

    Anyway, thanks for reading what you have and giving your input!
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  • From Streti on March 01, 2009
    I don't know what it is about this story, but I have really tough time reading it... maybe it's the degradation of the women, the broken flow, or asking readers to sympathize in any way with one of Suikoden's vilest villains, Kraze. Jeane's part is especially bad, degrading her intelligence besides her persona.

    On a more minute level, there's "...put to sleep with the rare Sleep Rune the commander bore..." - or how about just using the standard Wind Rune's Wind of Sleep?

    Now, I haven't gotten around to reading the whole of the second chapter, I keep quitting in the beginning. At least a few of those views for the story are me loading it up, trying to read, or review, but being unable to. It's quite unpleasant, and it's hard to tell if that was your intention or not.
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  • From salarta on January 25, 2009
    Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews.

    The use of so many characters did prove very problematic; I found my creative drive of ideas drying as I got toward the end of the story. However, if it didn't play off well, I feel the real issue would be figuring out what I did wrong for the 'all-female platoon' angle to falter. I set out with it in mind that they aren't a few stray female soldiers that foolishly take on the enemy forces, but a whole troupe of the rebel army's beautiful women. If you want to put up a strong front, a large number of fighters is key, no?

    The rest... well, I could say things, but they'd be personal opinion about aspects of the Suikoden world, so it wouldn't do much to say them.

    I had more ideas for Ronnie Bell and Kasumi in my original plans, but they wouldn't have worked as well as they did with Kimberley. Specifically, I was going to have Ronnie Bell forced to insert larger and larger objects as a play on the 'giant woman' nickname, but the soldiers having a constant stream of objects without going to a store would have been unlikely. And for Kasumi, she was going to use her speed to run around the camp giving handjobs, but with such speed, Kraze would've expected her to be more sensible and take advantage of it to rescue the other girls. As I write this, it suddenly occurs to me that I might've been able to go farther if I made more time pass before the end, but at the time I wanted it to be a quickie story.

    Despite having played I, III and V, I'm not all that eager to write stories about Suikoden in general. I did this one because I saw Suikoden I has next to nothing written about it. If I have the time and interest, I'm considering adding a second chapter to this one. I'm also open to others adding chapters to things; I always make that available for that reason.

    Overall, I have to say I enjoyed writing the ones you mentioned over writing the other characters. With the exception of Tengaar, of course, who was a surprising one I gravitated to writing when I got to her.
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  • From NinjaGaijin on January 25, 2009
    Yo Salarta! It's nice to see more Suikoden 1 stories. Great concept, great execution. Especially loved how you handle Jeane, Milia, and Kimberly. (Would love to see Kasumi and Mina getting more exploration, though). I hope you'll write more for the Suikoden series.
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  • From samuraixxx on January 25, 2009
    A few things to comment. First it was well written and less peverse thn I imgained, ie: the addition of typical 'cumcumcumcum and cock' grammar was nowhere to be found, making the story mature. However the story does have a few faults.

    First is simply there are too many characters in this, female anyway, cleo, camillie, sonya, tenggar, valencia etc along with mentions of viki, ronnie bell, there is a lot to be covered, focusing on a smaller group would have been better. Kraze is an ass and we only need two characters at least to show that.

    Second, kraze is a corrupt, lusts after women BUT even he knows where to draw the line, he is one of windy's minions and knows the rewards for getting what windy wants, so he would have acted differently on say kasumai given her connection with tir for example. Another would be that the generals are highly respected and for kraze to allow himself on sonya of all the generals simply wouldn't happen. This isn't some woman that everyone would forget about, this was a woman that everyone on both sides respected.

    Finally, I won't give away the ending but it could have been better, it seemed a bit cheap that after all that has happened it was all part of a trick.

    Overall, not bad.
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