Click Here!

Reviews for Loser

By : VelvetMace
  • From Kaybrianna on April 22, 2009
    Damn, what an awesome chapter! This is just getting better and better! You did such a beautiful job portraying Daxter's situation, I feel so bad for him. He wants nothing more than to prove to the world and himself that he's an indapendent member of society but can't help but feel guilty for the cost it comes at. Poor Jak just wants his little buddy back, but I think he's the only one who realizes that Daxter really needs this. As for rushed, this was not in any way, shape, or form too fast paced. That was a last chapter sort of deal that was necessary to show how chaotic Dax's life had become so suddenly, I understand, promise! I feel so horrible for the Demolition Duo right now, trying to find some sort of compromise and balance in their relationship and not quite being able to find one... awe... well, once again, your fantastically awesome and I am waiting with baited breath for your next update! Later!

    Report Review

  • From wanderingaddict on April 15, 2009
    it's flat-out fascinating to read about the way you portray Jak's alter egos, as well as this rather dark and desolate burnt-out world. I love it when an author pays so much attention to character flukes and enviromental detail, I'm totally serious when I say that this is a rather enthralling read. plus, some of your lines are so full of character in and of themselves that I had to grin at certain points (namely, whenever there was something like "held together with spit and hope." that was really good).

    I don't know how much of a response you're looking for. I 'spose I agree with some of the other reviews, in that I think maybe you could slow down Dax's thoughts a little, because, like, especially in that last chapter there was quite a bit to take in at once, but it seemed like there also wasn't the amount of detail that it should warrent? or deserve?

    but then, it does rather fit in with the rest of the story's pace, so. you know. just a thought is all. not saying you have to listen to me or anything, just a thought is all. and, personally, I'd really like to know a lot more about the world and lives you've built for them. I love reading about that kind of stuff. like, how the other people close to the two guys feel about Jak's other egos, whether you're even including that deserty, coastal sand city where Jak's father was king (or something) at all, that kind of stuff.

    plus, more interactions of Dax with Light and Dark. heh, honestly, his rather radical reactions to the opposite versions of them was both something of a slight surprise and terribly cute.

    but I know you already have everything written and stuff so yeah. just my review is all. outside perspective and all that. I don't mean to step on your toes/offend.
    Report Review

  • From Kaybrianna on April 14, 2009
    The way you say "not happy and fluffy" makes me envision them feeling disgusted and ashamed for being together... though I don't think you mean it like that... hopefully. Haha, anyway, so I'm really, really glad you updated. I have today off from school and work, and instead of doing my homework like a good girl, I decided to watch the newest House episode. Mistake. I cried like a baby, cuz that's what I do when I'm sad... I'm a bit overemotional. Anywho, afterward I decided that what would cheer me up would be if you had updated. And you had! I cheered and woke up my roommate... oops. Haha, like I said, overemotional. Well, on to an actual review. I liked this chapter because it seemed to really portray how much catching up on lost life experiences Daxter needs to do. While a bit rushed, it IS Daxter after all, you can't expect much patience from him. And maybe it was just me, but I felt Jak and Daxter's relationship was a bit... forced, I guess? I just didn't sense any real closeness. I'm chalking it up to Daxter needing to find his sense of independence and self worth and Jak trying to cope with Daxter doing that. Sorry, I didn't mean to rag on you there, but it's good ragging, I promise! And, also, sorry for my long winded rambling reviews... my friends always tell me I ramble too much, hope it doesn't bother you too bad.. Well, as always, I love this so far and I can't wait for you update! Till next time!
    Report Review

  • From Kaybrianna on April 05, 2009
    Haha, great chapter! I love how you dealt with Jak's more... er, baser urges in relation to Daxter's presence. Not even trying to get Dax out of the room before wacking his pud, hilarious! Most people just ignore the fact that Jak's a healthy young man with needs and just pretend he doesn't really have a sexuallity until Daxter's normal again. Come on, lets face it, you can't have that kind of close, constant companionship without some ackward moments! And I look forward to how you'll deal with thier relationship now that Daxter is normal again, like will Jak try and train Daxter so he can still tag along, or will he encourage a more stay at home career? Will Daxter be able to live with anything other than constant adventure at Jak's side? I'm so excited! I can't wait for you to update!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - random hyper person on April 03, 2009
    RHP: Great start! Hope you update soon! OR I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN! XD

    Oh, and I like how you made Dark Jak A separate person, could you put a DarkxDax in there?! (wriggles eyebrows)I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!

    Report Review

  • From sillyneko345 on March 31, 2009
    I enjoyed this first chapter a lot! You write very well. I too felt sorry for Daxter -- you made his troubles out as very realistic. I was sad that his relationship with Tess didn't work out, but I do look forward to seeing what the future holds for him. Hopefully it will be something good!

    I'll definitely be awaiting the next installment :)
    Report Review

  • From Kaybrianna on March 30, 2009
    Wow... I'm gonna try not to get excited about this yet since it's only one chapter in, but... Very nice. You're articulate and thorough, not at all jumpy or rushed, good job! Authors obviously make Daxter's misery over being an Ottsel a large part of the story, but not quite like you. You manage to make Daxter's misery very down to Earth and real, not just some minor nuisance to be forgotten until it can be fixed. It really helps in sympathizing with the character, I don't normally actually feel bad for Daxter! Sorry, I took a Critical Writing class and it sorta takes over my reviews sometimes... Anyway, you have a fantastic story so far, keep up the good work! Can't wait for he next chapter!
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!