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Reviews for Saying Goodbye

By : Gigamouse
  • From fallenxmercury on July 30, 2011
    I loved this! I honestly almost wanted to cry at the end. So well written and so beautiful! Great job! :D
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  • From jackalman22 on September 03, 2010
    Always nice to see a Rebecca story, especially one that centers on her family.

    Let me start by saying that, compared to a lot of other fan fiction, your story is actually well written. The writing is pared down and simple, and while there were some issues with tense and word choice, it was a very smooth read. You didn't rely on being too introspective or too descriptive, and the result was a touching piece that wasn't overwritten. Well done.

    Rebecca's overarching motivation seemed to be the weakest link for me. Even with the setting you described, and even with the dialogue (which was delightfully realistic and managed to avoid being heavy-handed or "explain-y"), I found myself wondering why the heck Rebecca drew her conclusion to leave, why she felt "guilty" according to the synopsis, or why she was leaving her family who she clearly is on good terms with. Also, and this point is really just a personal choice you made, but the blending of Abrahamic Biblical and Japanese cultural names and nicknames seemed a bit odd for a Montana family who's likely of northern European lineage. Again, not a deal breaker by any means, but it stood out as an odd combination and choice.

    Overall, I'd say I enjoyed reading this. Depiction of actions was simple and gave us little bits of Rebecca and the family that you crafted for her. You resisted information dumping and worked details into the story without being clunky or too unnatural about it (for the most part). There were some instances where you got a little trigger-happy with adverbs, so I'd definitely recommend some stronger word choices, especially in the prose surrounding the dialogue and some of the actions.

    Great job. Again, I enjoyed reading this piece. I like Rebecca as a character, and in general, it's not too often you see Resident Evil fics that focus on the lives of the characters outside the context of the games (though yours obviously does take place in the context of the games). So often do we see the characters interacting with one another, existing as if they live only to interact with the RE cast and not the rest of the world. Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep up the solid work.

    -J
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