Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Voices

By : littleartemis
  • From wanderingaddict on October 02, 2010
    yo. this was a pretty interesting read. you don't really see many stories as told from a DK's perspective, particularly such a dark and depressing one (with constant whispers from the Lich King, rotting body, losing control, etc). this has a lot of potential to be a really great oneshot! and it just needs a little more polishing, that's all. if you feel like :P

    specifically, I think it loses a lot in the beginning, where it's very easy to lose the reader in the string of unfamiliar people and male pronouns. I mean, Chogan is Sokur's boyfriend? Sokur is... is Abyss's older brother? or Az's? does Az even have an older brother? it seems like there's another unnamed person who is being mentioned. anyways, if I got those relationships wrong, it shows my confusion! even if I got them right, that's just my educated guess at best! that could really use some tightening, you know? also, towards the end, just before the sex, you sort of imply that Abyss goes out to hug Az naked (or nearly so). he just spent a lot of time agonizing over Az seeing him naked (the rot and all) so would it be better to rework that a little? go a bit more in-depth with Az's reaction to his body, Abyss's tentativeness and fears?

    heh, I'm not saying it's bad by any means. it's a cute story! and those are just some areas I think could be easily straightened and polished to make it shine :P
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!