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Reviews for The Man I Love

By : lalolita
  • From ANON - on June 25, 2016
    Nice
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  • From finnsloan on January 29, 2012
    Soliloquy of the paladin is taut and enjoyably intense, yet perhaps a little too intense for such sharp dark emotion shift engendered with insufficient modulation. Frankly, the moment I reached "He gave onto the thought of someone else; maybe someone that would bring the...." all seriousness diffused and almost triggered a roaring laughter. But if that is what you planned..... more jealousy episode,anyway this chapter is quite enjoyable. A new handsome human male, should I expect something more than wicked ? Please indulge our dirty notions! Hahahaha.......
    By the way, I'm not a native English speaker yet I find something I cannot understand. "he had loved him secretly and afraid for so many years" I think afraid should be coupled with a linking verb.
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  • From finnsloan on August 30, 2011
    I don't know if you are a WoW player, if so then your chapters do lack a Zeitgeist or primary track of time. As some major events occupy an entire expansion, background settings should abide by resemblant plots although I myself do harbor an intense grudge for CTM storyline. Perhaps WLK,TBC or even old world may as well be ideal sources of plot designing.
    I'm stupefied when finding their mounts are not retrieved ?!!! How long do they have to trek before reclaiming former ones or they will be just fine with alternatives ? It seems "mounts problem" will weave some amusing episodes...how about something like a mechanic's motorcycle or traveller's mammoth then we can be intoxicated with immense romance..........(Hey, it is not a familia-drama!)

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  • From finnsloan on August 29, 2011
    Hmm....Crikton can be so hot when endued with slight shyness and perplexity. Haha Zeyhan begins to emit signs of being responsible. Interaction between is quite enjoyable. Well done.....(Ghyra is just a "little girl" as not being capable of fathoming our heroes'affection, you can be way too bold..XDDDDDDD)
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  • From finnsloan on August 26, 2011
    Totally beyond any of my speculation, perhaps Ghyra could be settled some time in their adventure or they three are going to form a happy family............anyhow scent of thrilling beckons
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  • From finnsloan on August 24, 2011
    Now the quintessential pivot fraction feud has been channelled......then a "hero save the beauty" scenario should be expected. Well done, keep it up
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  • From finnsloan on August 22, 2011
    So paladin's innocence is the primal cause of his "softness" ? positively intriguing and necessary indeed yet could you make him more masculine as well as that innocent especially the intial style of chapter 1 ? Being sentimental and resolute would make everything perfect. Slash is a little beyond my anticipations for their position is .........bold as I deem in such fic the first encounter should conform with "normal pose" anyhow it is marvelously hot. Approps, in chapter 6 there is a medium inconsistency I find unpleasant.

    .........I should already be heading my way. Crikton spoke bluntly, his intentions were not of hurting Zeyhan, but the elf¡¯s bewildered look on his eyes was something he hadn¡¯t hoped. ......... Zeyhan spoke quickly and nervously, hoping that Crikton wouldn¡¯t deny his request.

    In this paragraph, Inasmuch as the promise has been made, (unless Crikton's intention was to tease the elf) "spoke bluntly" is nothing short of a expression of sangfroid which is a violation of barely retrieved affiliation and again Zeyhan's nervousness is never what I like to see. In later chapters, attachment is very well rendered, Crikton is incredibly hot when he take initiatives.
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  • From finnsloan on August 14, 2011
    background setting is attractive and pairing depiction is gorgeous especially in the first chapter, yet some details i deem fail to meet sufficient rationality due to possible inconsistent patterns. First it is a yaoi fic , thus i think Zeyhan should not be as ashamed as he is in the chapter 5 for being raped, which almost gives me an instinct suggestion it's a woman who is raped and hysterically draws a debacle. Second Zeyhan is a paladin who should incarnate characteristics of steel and unflinching will, so perhaps even if the result of being raped is real, the focus should be fixed upon the tremendous resistance he delivered, which should be much more deliciously painful. finally i hope Crikton can be more aggressive in future chapters who i think for the best should dominate the situation. xDDDDDD
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