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Reviews for Happy Fucking Birthday To you.

By : MissObscene94
  • From ANON - jessie on June 30, 2013
    this is awesome
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  • From ANON - emochickenbutt on January 25, 2013
    I like the premise--as story involving the reader on the reader's birthday. I would, however, suggest that perhaps instead of using (Y/N) the dialogue could be written to avoid using names, as at least for me, it interrupted the flow of the story. Something I've noticed both as a reader and writer of fanfiction is that many readers are turned off to specific bands, foods, etc. Unless it is important for plot, it would probably work better (seeing as how this is a story where the reader is the character) to be vague about the music; if you are truly set on that music, than perhaps an author's note at the beginning, suggesting a song or artist would be best. As far as grammar goes, about half of the commas should be periods. Some could be argued as stylistic choice, but far too many can make a paragraph sound choppy and turn sentences into run-ons.
    I must ask: was there a reason he tasted like bubblegum and strawberries? (I'm allergic to strawberries, I would have died lol)
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  • From AFFModerator on January 14, 2013

    Please correct your disclaimer.


    Your disclaimer does not contain one of the two required elements. It must state that no money/profit is made. Stating that it’s just for fun or just for entertainment purposes is not enough.


    If your disclaimer is not corrected, your story will be hidden from public view (but not deleted) 7 days from the date of this warning. You may still correct your disclaimer via your control panel, and the story will then be unhidden again as soon as possible. However, if the disclaimer is not corrected after your story has been hidden for 30 days, the story will be deleted. Re-uploads of hidden stories are deleted immediately with no additional warning given.


    Below is a link to the Terms of Service in its entirety:

    http://www.adultfanfiction.net/tos.php


    In addition, the next link listed is to the FAQ regarding disclaimers:

    http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=3560


    We also suggest taking a few minutes to read the Content Guidelines:

    http://www.adultfanfiction.net/guidelines.php


    You can remove this review once your disclaimer is corrected.


    Thank you,

    BronxWench, AFF Archive Moderator


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