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Reviews for The Forsworn Retribution

By : Samson

From ANON - AnonGuy3490 on February 25, 2015
I've been following for a while, haven't really reviewed before.

Considering I'm a vanilla fan, I'm surprised that I've followed this cruel Imperial for as long as I have. I've liked seeing the small changes to his character that you've subtly written in here and there, and personally I'm a fan of Max/Gabby. I have to wonder, though, is she the same Gabriella that was with the remnants of the Dark Brotherhood?

Next sex scenes I'd like to see would be a tender Max/Gabby one, or letting Max and Anya have a bit of alone time, perhaps both scenes in one chapter?

I'll admit I was kind of disappointed at the end of the second orgy chapter, though the bit with Gabriella at the end was kinda sweet.

I'm looking forward to what you come up with next.
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From Casnia on February 11, 2015
Wow, I had no idea that all the girls in Skyrim are squirters.
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From ANON - ZiBeX on February 05, 2015
Good new chapter but is it me or Anya got unscratched o.O ??
Feel bit sorry for bunny, got kinda feel that she is left out a bit T.T

A bit confused how do you plan to make her sister a active antagonist. Considering that Max is all bend to get revenge and all not sure how. I could see their parents as antagonist maybe but considering that Bunny already mention that everyone ignored her and in those line of thinking and her sister is pretty much a bully to her not sure they would exactly want revenge for her or something.
When I said before to put her with Max and everyone else I never meant that she doesn't make problems for the rest of them. The position is good to put all in some seriously danger situations (reveal positions, secrets, blow up cover) to give clues to her people. Her as antagonist don't see how you plan to pull it off. Send raids at them ?? :/
Not exactly that she can just come up to people and say bad things or turn them to be suspicions to them considering who she is.
Ou well will wait and see how you plan to implement it :D
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From ANON - Allyna on February 04, 2015
Aw.. Poor Sabrina... Hope she will be OK. She didn't need to be punish for saving his life with that what she is accused for. xD
Gabriella's last part of the chapter was awesome that's all needed to said.
What you said about some of option where they could go I'm completely agreeing what previous reviewer mention about it. Alittle bit of research and you should be fine and no they were not as said by people before its more applying as to all of them. Not individuals... At least I think so.
I think dagger fall would be awesome thing since as far as I seen noone has done it or try to put effort in it.
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From ANON - ZeoUnit on February 01, 2015
First of good to see new chapter, its nice to see update keep coming up. A for your idea as straight arrow as real antagonist not used about that one. I could see their parents as one or maybe see her if you shown her past events after Bunny left if made that it affected her in a bad way by bunny not been there. But you already made it clear that she was more a bit like a bully and that they kinda ignored her in away and look down (bunny that is) so not sure how you plan to implement that in good logical way.
The part you said about bunny/straight pairing why you would not go for it its fine. Its your story and you have your vision NAD goal how you plan for story to progress. As far as me is concern I'm fine with your decision ether way.

The part you said about Daggerfall and Morrowind lands. I don't see much of a problem with them going there. Just because the lore say they never been there doesn't mean none of them were. It is refer in general as in large numbers. Daggerfall is amazing land, so is the Morrowind. That could give you plenty of opportunity for some crazy fun adventures. Just to give you a hint oblivion is around 16miles.... Dragonfall is over 65 miles of land to explore in the game...

If the the problem is your knowledge of the games them self's you could do a bit of reading/research as a writer. It should of be that hard to find it on the internet... Probably in great details knowing the community.... :)
My bet would be daggerfall because of simple size of things but if you not sure for now try morrowind or oblivion :)

The part about contacting people you could use Emails we post if want to give some kind of a reply I guess..

In anycease hope you manage to get some time to write new chapter again soon.
Best wishes and good writing from ZeoUnit

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From ANON - simplytyty on January 30, 2015
Man that was a great chapter. Awesome story, awesome scene and of course awesome writing. Can wait for another chapter. Please continue, at this point, I'll read anything you write.
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From ANON - Mr.death on January 26, 2015
Any plans to continue the story after you finish it. Looks like waste to stop it in my opinion.. Just saying...
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From ANON - Glichwitch on January 24, 2015
When do you plan to update the story?
I want to see more stuff happened :D
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From ANON - ZiBeX on January 18, 2015
Man this is one good story. Perfect balance between sex and story. Character are fun and sexy. Ironicly I like Sabrina and Gabriella. I agree with what some people mention that You should include Bunny's sister Straight in to mix as Bunny's gift from max to be taken care of as little pet. I was so annoyed when she started to bully poor Bunny. Give her feel of her own medicine. Will you move the story to morrowind or maybe daggerfall lands. So far with all set I think you could just make more and more adventures.
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From ANON - allyna on January 17, 2015
Dont mess around with me!!!! Finally story arc?!?!?!? No.... Just NO... There is SOOO much you can do go in to character story's how things gone. Fix some issues they have. You can use Their past that fought up to them or something. Sabrina's bast would be prime example of some conflicts or life they lives so far like Bunny's problem. Add her sister in the mix for start point as zeo mention I don't know plenty of stuff to do before say finally arc. Maybe got to members old homes or go current part of elder scrolls. xD
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From ANON - ZeoUnit on January 17, 2015
Well I just finish reading last chapter and just notice that you soon plan to end the story... The first thing that passed my mind was when will there be a sequel to this... Maybe go on current land inside of ES world....
From all female characters so far I like Sabrina and Gabriella the most, would be nice to make them alpha status between girls. Sabrina looks like is the favorite so far and she dose have surten skills to allow her to take that place on top.
Gabriella as much as her "status" is' she is still to first to meet him and all. She might be sub to max but kinda think should be more... Well for better word more on "top of the food chain". :)
Svetlana is fine as it is, i like how her personality is and Anya is still not all told so far. Seems that Svetlana might bring her "under her protection" or between her lower part... If base on Svetlana comment on "half a chance" in chapter 24
The only one so far that kinda give me feel that something is lacking is Bunny. Would be cool if you could put her sister in their little group to make a full set. Like collectors edition for Max. I think two of them would have some interesting moments if Max got straight arrow as a "gift" to bunny as only option not to kill her if they get her in future. Sister pair would look fun considering that it seems that Bunny's sister was a bit of bully to her. Change of rolls would be in teresting to see.

I hope you will not stop writing the story and continue to develop the plot and adventures of this characters as they go around ES world.

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From ANON - letomi on January 14, 2015
Cool story so far, any chance you could make more updates?
Keep up the good work.
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From ANON - ZeoUnit on January 14, 2015
Nice story. Hope there will be more updated in near future.
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From ANON - simplytyty on December 26, 2014
Wow! I'm amazed so little people reveiwed your work. This story is amazing. It wll writen, exciting and deliciously good. The fight scenes in the story are very vivid as well as the lemons. Thank you for your story! Keep it up!!!😍
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From ANON - Makuraymi on October 07, 2014
So.... this is awesome. I was thinking that maybe you could add a Redguard Dancer, Some orc-warrior trapgirl, and maybe a bosmer. you know, round out things for the group dynics. I mean you already have Anya, who you've implied to be a future party member already.
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