Reviews for Under TailBy : Latham02 |
As a quick note, I acknowledge Frisk's agenderness, but it's hard to remember to use "they" in the singular and I'm certain I won't catch them all and call them a "he". Sorry about that.
I'm fantastically interested in this, and hope to see more in the future. You've done a great job, especially in the way that you have to read both the good and evil sides in order to get the whole story and understand the whole setting--it's almost like the actual game in that regard. And the way you manage to go through each side so uniquely is absolutely great--even when it's the same monster in each, it isn't repetitive to read the second half of the chapter at all.
I'm curious about all sorts of things, though, and have a number of questions. Why, if she's going on about dominating and raping monsters, is Flowey still calling her philosophy "kill or be killed"? It seems that all the monsters that Rapist!Frisk has been going after have become more... connected... to him and his soul. Are their souls actually partially dead now, or is it just their personalities that have died? Or are they not properly alive (or properly monsters?) now that they're full of LOVE, not love? Those are the only explanations I can think of this early in the game.
From what it looks like, gaining LOVE (is that still "Level Of ViolencE?) is increasing Rapist!Frisk's sexual potency. But Lover!Frisk seems to do as good as, or sometimes better than, him. He's always trying to help others even if they killed him--and monsters are made of love, compassion, hopes, and dreams. Does he somehow resonate with them more because of that? I don't want to think of Lover!Frisk as somehow less than the Rapist in respect to sex.
When will you be looking at Frisk's family life before Mt. Ebott? If he was wondering whether his friends and family were even missing him, and if he was so mocked that he felt he had to do something as dangerous as climbing a murderous mountain to be acknowledged... it doesn't sound too great. Considering that a number of monsters have decided to bear his children, I hope Lover!Frisk starts considering staying in the Underground (even if they feel that they need to at least find out what happened on the surface). Also... did Frisk have any sexual experience before coming down here?
Will Lover!Frisk ever get a girlfriend (I personally hope for Asriel and/or Chara, but I'm unashamed Friskiel and Charisk and Chariskiel trash. Utter trash.)? Or will he keep that sort of polyamorous thing with all the people he's grown close to? Will he ever have sex with Lima and Bean? Will they show up later, even in a non-sex-partner role? For suddenly gaining a father, they didn't seem especially touched by it. Is a dad just not especially important to a mitosising race like Moldsmals?
Is Gaster appearing? While there's all sorts of opportunities for Gaster to appear, I have to ask--what about Chara? Is she a spirit following Frisk like in the game, or will she only appear at the very end of the Rapist!Frisk path? Chara's really too fascinating of a character to leave alone until the very end, or on only a single route. Also, why does Flowey not act like Frisk is Chara? Still, it's up to author fiat, I suppose.
Incidentally, I like the fourth wall-aware nature of the narrative. For most other fandoms it would be an annoying thing, but it fits in just find in an Undertale fic.
Also incidentally, you are a FANTASTIC punner.
I'm so glad to see that you've reached Snowdin Forest! But I hope you aren't going to do one monster to one chapter anymore. The route from the Ruins to Snowdin, even with puzzles, is a lot simpler than crossing an entire underground city. And aside from Snowdrake, Chilldrake, Ice Cap, Grytrot, and Glyde (are you doing Glyde?), you've got Doggo, both of the Dogi, Lesser Dog (REAL curious to see what you'll do with her) and Greater Dog. That's insanely huge. Maybe you could fit a dog into each of the other monster's chapters?
Of course, that's without getting into Snowdin itself. I'll be interested in seeing what non-combat monsters you match up with Frisk there. Grillby, most likely... maybe Fuku is there, too? That mouth-thing in the bar looks interesting, and there are a few other interesting monsters... maybe the icecube wolf?
But what happens once you reach the end? Is each route just going to end in it's respective manners? Pacifist is longer with more monsters than Genocide (unless you skip True Pacifist ending, but why would you do that other than to include Asgore sex, which you could fit in another way?), so keeping a 1:1 ratio with monster encounters wouldn't be possible for the entire story. And once both routes have reached their conclusion... is that it? Or will you somehow have each Frisk take one another on, or... something?
Heh. If so, I think Rapist!Frisk will be in for a surprise. He might have overwhelming LOVE, but Lover!Frisk... well. Even if this is a world of sex and not of bullet-dodging, he's still the same Frisk who, when actually killed by the Absolute God of Hyperdeath...
"*But it refused"
Damn. That simple line was so emotional.
I do have a small request, though--about the Amalgamates. Please don't make them too... humanoid, or pretty. They're meant to be horrifying both in appearance and in what happened to them--even if you don't make the sex revolting, it should still be a section of the story to explore more exotic fetishes. And a bit of fear sex. (speaking of horrifying things... what the hell would Omega Flowey be like?)
Also, in the games Amalgamates were completely immune to damage if you tried to attack them (and gave some terrifying freaky messages when you did). Would they still be vulnerable to Rapist!Frisk's soul-virus-thing?
Now, to review which was done better of the Mercy or No Mercy paths for each chapter:
2 Mercy
I almost chose the other route because of the goddamn spiders. Bizarrely, I actually look forwards to more spider scenes when you get to Muffet...
Anyways, I like how this captured the "uncertain in life" quality of the Froggits. Rana wound of being very nice, and this was a good look into the stranger culture of the monsters of Under Tail. The Lover!Frisk sex did a better job of showing her sexually as a monster as compared to the Rapist, which really just spent the chapter being a horrible person and establishing that he could rape minds as well as bodies.
3 No Mercy
Let it be said first that I much prefer the Mercy one in terms of character and story, but No Mercy was hotter. Twerking was a bit of a turn off--pity he didn't think of belly dancing or something like that. I liked the split into daughters thing, but... well, I'm afraid I find fictional incest pretty hot, and one of the daughters actually goes with Rapist rather than just disappearing as a pair of new dance partners. If there's one thing I like about No Mercy, it's that the characters stay around... although as hollow shells of themselves.
4 Mercy
Napstablook alone would have made Lover!Frisk the best choice of the two for this chapter. I hope they have sex ones the human gets to Waterfall. Anyways, what you did with Loox was pretty fascinating, having them as an individual rather than type of monster. Does that mean that Astigmatism is just another of the same type of monster, since they're both of the Eyewalker family? Also, what would be up with the mouth and face that appears on Astigmatism's eyelid? I also like how each half of Loox reacts in opposite-but-still-suitable ways to everything. The Loox sex was also better in Mercy.
5 Mercy
The Vegetoids were much better explored in Mercy, and the crush Nantes eventually grew for Frisk was cute. This is also the point where No Mercy begins to get a touch repetitive ("rape them till they like it" doesn't allow for quite as much variety as Lover!Frisk's route provides), and the slave harem sex sometimes seems like it's intruding on the progression to the next girl.
6 No Mercy
Again, I really prefer the Mercy one to Rapist!Frisk's path here--the way you handled the Migosp gang all leading one another to behave badly while none of them actually wanted it was masterful (although there wasn't a part where Antmanda showed any reluctance to kill him... I suppose it was a fair guess at that point, though). But No Mercy forced the Migosps into forming a Swarm as they slowly became a hive. Each one showed a different side of Migosps; one, the bug that attacked you in the game; the other, the dancer they secretly want to be. But the Migosp later going on to form a swarm of all the other Migosps was sort of hot, even if we didn't get to see it.
7 Mercy
I had a sad when Frisk declined to be Whimsun's datefriend. It would have been cute if they had. Although Frisk was wrong about one thing--becoming datefriends isn't always about loving one another. It can be about getting to know one another so that you can fall in love in the first place. Sometimes knowing one another as friends just doesn't provide the push needed to elevate feelings of friendly love into romantic love. Although I think that having sex first before any of that would be an awkward way to start this relationship...
It's sad, but from a narrative perspective I like what happened when he molested Toriel. In addition to showing him that he can LOAD without dying (speaking of which, Rapist!Frisk has never died or LOADed at all. He has no idea what can happen, does he?), it taught him a valuable lesson and showed just what raping a monster could accomplish. I do wonder about what Flowey meant though... did the Master-enslavement thing really partially survive the LOAD? That's more than just the sense of deja vu it normally causes, right?
While it was nice to see that Rapist!Frisk had a vague sense of honor enough not to try to enslave Toriel, how quickly he tossed it aside was souring.
8 Mercy
The humor was good, Snowdrake's affection had an endearing, simple purity to it, and it was overall just fantastic. No Mercy's side wasn't particularly notable, only in learning that he hated chubby ladies. Although Sans and Papyrus feel sort of... odd. The description of fleshy skeletons is just strange. I hope they're actually bone, or at least look less like the humans-with-skeleton-paint-on that the description makes them out to be. Incidentally... almost no monsters have used actual attacks. Do monsters still send messages to each other with stuff like bullet-pattern birthday cards? Will Papyrus fling bones around to help pin down Frisk?
Uh... does Papyrus even know how to rape? Or that stealing Frisk's SOUL would kill him? Or is he still just trying to capture a human, not really understanding what's going on?
...
Please.
Please, I have one request of you. I ask most of these questions to show that I'm paying attention to the story and like it (although I certainly hope many will eventually be answered in-story).
But this is a true request.
Please, if Jerry shows up... ditch her. I don't think somehow making Jerry sympathetic is beyond your reach, but Jerry is... is... Jerry.
I love this fic I love the pacifist path with the most.
more plz
plz make more these stores are amazing
Good storyline and definitley the no mercy
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