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Reviews for Taming the Raider

By : BoobsWriter

From ANON - on July 21, 2016
I really hope a new chapter's coming, this is amazing! I really love the way you describe their bodies.

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From ANON - MKSlave on May 12, 2016
I gotta admit, I was also looking forward to her induction (I don't think she was really "trained" per se) However, seeing the direction you're taking it now, I realize how out of place it'd be. It wouldn't advance the plot whatsoever.

Yes, I can see why some were excited for that (you naughty little tease) but there are A MILLION stories about a hot, strong woman becoming enslaved via mind control or black mail or brute force, and 99% of them show her being trained and broken. IT GETS OLD. Besides, I find it kinda erotic to just wonder about it was like.

As for the character development argument? Thankfully these guys seem to get a kick out of her fighting back. Her personality doesn't seem different from chapter 1 to now, so I'd say we don't need that scene for character development.

Oh and I agree that Zip needs some punishment. Even if its (a lot) more orgasm denial. He's been very bad and deserves a little sensual torment.

Thank you for reading my novel!

MKSlave
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From mty14 on May 04, 2016
I never said the sex scene had to be long, or that it couldn't advance the plot.

That was a major part of Lara's character development that got left out, which I assume is one of the big reasons people read TR stories. But then again, I probably honestly would not have noticed if the first few chapters hadn't been such an obvious set-up for a scene that never happened.
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From Sammycolt on May 03, 2016
Very sweet!

Never having played DOA I am not that familiar with the other female characters and enjoy the Lara parts the most. The Zip blowjob scene was greatly written, but the fight for me was infinitely sweeter. Lara kicking ass and getting her ass kicked like that really was something... Zip's comeuppance is something I will look forward to while the Lara parts are of course what I am going to enjoy most.

Great stuff, hope to read more soon!
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From FuckUSay on April 29, 2016
KARMAS A BITCH!
Lara's just gonna get what she's had delt to her for the last week. Zip... is gonna get fucked.
Shame Al's last command was to comply.
WELL DONE!
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From JViper on April 28, 2016
Awesome chapters! I'm really glad you went with a no "bruises" battle. Some authors get a little too out of control on their fights and frankly Lara is more of a gunslinger than a fighter, so it would feel pretty strange if she was winning fights against martial artists. Leveling the field to chokes only was a good step in this direction.

Otherwise it was a pretty by the book fight. Nothing much to comment on it. It was hot imagery, no denying that, but it was also kinda predictable with its plot twist. I liked the ambiguity though. I'm not really sure if the DOA girls are being fully controlled or if it's a more soft blackmail type of thing. Alister conversation got a little bit cut at the end. Even if most of it could be understood.

The best part of the chapters was Christie's BJ. I think it's only the third sex act since the story began. This is one of your qualities as writer: keeping the sexual tension high even though there's few scenes of sex proper. I'm loving it.

Curious to see where things will go now that the plan has gone south. Alister isn't the rescue guy, so we're probably going to have to see Lara fight from inside. If she gets out. I can see some punishment to Zip too. I'd love to see the guys getting their dues, but I understand they're the guys of the story and they're probably be submitted to some kind of sexy torture or something. Still at least wipes off the smile of their faces, like when Christie kept denying Zip his orgasm.

Overall, loved the chapters and can't wait for more!
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From Xcinergy on April 18, 2016
Excellent work so far, as much as I'm anxious for the story to progress the pacing is done rather well.
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From HunterOpera on April 16, 2016
Okay. This is gonna be a little long, but bear with me. I'm wordy.

There's an old truism that writing comedy and horror are pretty much the same thing. When I saw horror, I'm not meaning gore or jump scares, I'm talking deep-seated dread. The idea is that both comedy and horror are rooted in tension, the build to an eventual climax. I've heard people argue that the same is true of porn, though there are very few professional examples of this: the stereotype of wham-bam-done is far more prevelent than I'd care to admit, and it's dull. This? The story you've written? This is a strong argument for porn as art, following that sense of tension from one scene to the next, setting up specific punchlines and following through with them to build up to a larger climax. This is awesome.

You've also done a great job with Zip and Alister, establishing what their motives are and how they were able to trick Lara. They could be sympathetic if they weren't so terrible, each of them a conniving bastard, and their actions are made so much worse by the trust Lara put in them. The situation they've put her in is fantastic; it reminds me a lot of an old story called the Axis of Tantilus, but while the villains their were terrible on a world-wide front and were villains from the start, yours are worse for their simplicity and treachery.

Lara herself is well written, a perfect mix of fury and dignity being fought for under circumstances in which she has no control. It's incredible, thrilling, and I keep wondering if there is any way for her to escape this. Her employees have turned her body into a prison for her mind, and I have the sense that Itagaki is just going to make things worse.

This is incredibly well put together, and I'm can't wait to see what happens next.
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From FuckUSay on April 12, 2016
Let me get this out... I HATE Alistair and Zip.
'not too mean?' I'm scared to ask what you think is.
GREAT writing... but I have no sympathy for these two assholes.
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From mty14 on April 12, 2016
I'm not sure why you spent the first four chapters subtly building up to the moment when the two of them finally get their hands on Lara only to subvert it completely and totally pull the rug out from under us. That was very disappointing.

Other than that fiasco, this is quite good.
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From Sammycolt on April 12, 2016
Hope this doesn't make me look too much like a suck-up, but personally I disagree with some of the criticisms the other guys uttered. While I agree that Lara should get some wins along the way I don't feel like you portrayed the male characters too "on the nose". I feel like the atmosphere you're going for here is pre-reboot Tomb Raider, with Lara much more in badass-mode than the new, more sympathetic version of the character, so in that respect I think the male "villians" of the story fit it well in their characterization. Plus, it is a porn-parody after all, so making Zip and Alastair rather horny and taking advantage of Lara seems like a logic choice. Not that I want to condone their behavior in real life, but I think in the early chapters it was established that Lara did drive them mad and her teasing was far from innocent (she did grab Zip's dick for example), so I can see them building up a lot of frustration over years of this and in a porn-pre-reboot-Tomb-Raider, I could absolutely act the way you described them.

In the future, I'm sure you have some kind of twist for the fight in mind, so it will be sexy rather than a pure beat-up and I'm itching to see some Lara-action!!!

Overall, this is PornEater-level writing, which is the biggest smut-related compliment I can think of! Really glad you're writing this!
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From DrkVrtx on April 11, 2016
"RADIES AND GENTREMEN!"

Some might call foul on the stereotypical Engrish but it gave me a good laugh; humour and sexy time work together well so I definitely appreciate that. Speaking of sexy time, that Limo scene from Chapter 5? I'm all about that. Love your descriptive sequences, like I've said before it just paints the picture so well and your version of Lara is undoubtedly smoking. Besides this, the only other stories that have been able to paint such a vivid, sexy image of her for me are those written by PornEater, so personal kudos on that. I would like to see some kind of small victory for Lara here soon though, keep a sense of tension present between her and Zip/Alistar. Lara's a very wilful character and I think it would take more than a bit of (admittedly advanced) tech to 'break' her, as it were. Still, this is your story and you seem pretty invested so I'll just sit back and let you get on with it. It's top notch stuff thus far and I'm enjoying what's on offer.
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From JViper on April 11, 2016
Another great chapter(6). Things seems to be going to be over the top from here on out, but it's a good over the top so far. I wasn't expecting a crossover in this story, though. It shames me not to have realized that with the name drop last chapter, but somehow I thought it was just a coincidence.

This version of the DOA girls seems more 4th wall breaking, I guess. Which is fine, since I don't imagine a teenager being able to subjugate both Tina and Rachel in the physical department. Then again this is erotica. As long as things don't turn too self-insertion-y or too mary sue-ish I'm digging the new angle.

I don't know if I can credit Zip and Alister's actions to sexual frustration. I hope they get at least one redeemable thing on the whole story. I'm not sure if it's just me, but one thing hotter than a Lara who doesn't want to do the sexing, is one who actually want to do it. So maybe we can have some glimpses of that later on, as I imagine this is all setup to make her "break".

I know it's already announced but I think a sexual battle is better than plain violence. I kinda wish you went the sexy game route on the condition from Itagaki, instead of a fight. Even if it is oil wrestling. The violence on top of the humiliation is a bit too much if the only thing Lara did was tease her employees. Now if you showed a really malicious tease from her, then my opinion would change. But this seems undeserved so far and I can't help but want to see Zip and Alister get the shit beat out of them instead of wanting them to fuck Lara.

I'm hooked and intrigued as to where you'll go with the story. And the broken English from Itagaki was comedy gold.
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From MorbidFantasy on April 11, 2016
Latest chapter was... well... a little too on the nose in my opinion. The male characters are a little too one note in their lechery and crudeness. The stereotypical Asian accent was also more humorous than it was probably intended.

That being said, I dig the setup, as well as the DOA crossover. I do hope that in future updates there's more nuance to our male villains, so we can differentiate between them.

Cheers.
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From JViper on April 04, 2016
I'll echo the other reviewers in that the "training" should be shown in some form. Sure the end result with Itagaki(man, couldn't you choose another name? It's so close to the creator of DOA and that guy is kinda... oatmeal cookie) will be hot, but the dickings Lara took to get there sounds much more interesting. Then again I'm guessing the plan won't go smoothly and things will probably go south maybe even to Zip and Alister.

Speaking of them, they're a little bit to evil here. I can totally get behind them for the frustration of years of being so close to Lara, but the way they're going about it is a little too mean spirited. Still early to pass judgement as there could be something yet to be revealed about all this. Maybe at the end the guys really want to get the program out and free Lara, because otherwise I can't see the reason to continue on that subplot if they have the real deal. Why would they want to share Lara with the world? The humiliation thing only gets you so far before becoming simple because so.

On the chapter itself, I loved the interaction at the Limo. Your descriptions are top notch and you remind me of a friend who used to write in a very similar style. As you can see I'm really hooked on this and hope, since you wrote in the review reply session, that you continue to deliver the awesome porn with plot that you've done so far.
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