Reviews for Untrue loveBy : Gold4sun |
This is more like it. The plot has direction, and Garet/Jenna are a good couple. Strangely enough, I think this is the first time they've been paired on this site. The setup works; it's just like Garet to never consider the reason his girlfriend won't have sex with him is because she's (perhaps subconsciously) saving herself for someone else. It's also just like Garet to profess loyalty to his girlfriend but immediately go along with whatever sex thing Jenna proposes just because she's such a hottie. :)
The humor in general is very good, I especially laughed when Jenna says "I think that you should pick me." Something tells me that Jenna isn't going to let Garet make the wrong choice.
The sex scene is absolutely terrific, better than any of the three in "Nights of No Return". You play off the hot character chemistry between Garet and Jenna, some of your descriptions are great, and the actual intercourse feels like a bonafide climax of the lovemaking. I really enjoy the way Garet nonchalantly inseminates her. Apart from simply being really hot, it makes you think, if he keeps this up, before long he'll have to marry Jenna because of parental responsibility, which could well be in Jenna's plan. At the same time her love for him is sincere, especially the way she cleans up his semen to keep him from getting in trouble, and that just makes their passionate encounter all the sexier.
One odd thing: "Garet soon understood that Jenna had her first orgasm." Do you mean her first ever orgasm? I can't imagine how Garet would know she'd never had an orgasm before, but otherwise it doesn't make sense for him to call it "her first orgasm", even apart from the fact that he doesn't give her another before they call it a day.
And oh yeah, there's also a Garet/Mia sex scene here too, isn't there? That one's not half bad either, though it's not as memorable as the Garet/Jenna one.
I really hope you continue this, it has good potential. The summary indicates that Mia is going to get her own alternate lover. I hope it's Isaac - obvious, yes, but the couple works, and most of the less obvious possibilities are either boring (e.g. Mia/Felix) or too silly to be hot (e.g. Mia/Sheba, Mia/Lord Babi). Whatever, just keep going with this!
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