Reviews for NovusBy : FieldDranzer |
Awesome ending, though I'm just a little annoyed we didn't get a scene with Meister fucking Samus's pussy 'on screen'.
Can Ridley show up chasing down Samus and Meister beat him into the ground with Samus using her powersuit for the last time to deal the killing blow???? Or if Ridley were to show up and threaten he kids I can see Samus going mama bear and ripping limbs off him until Meister arrives to kill him.
Well done to you, it was a great story. I enjoyed all its aspects and appreciated all the time you put into it including the depictions of the themes you chose. One of my most favourite type of fics are those that written in broad detail, with a steady build-up and fleshed out with patience, and you had all that in droves. I'll be sure to keep my eye out for your works. Take it easy.
I was happy with the ending. The last sex was a bit too over the top, but overall a satisfying conclusion. I hope to read a similar story someday. Bayonetta would be a good choice. Bred by angels...
Okay, so this chapter is short, simple, and to the point. Samus crash lands on an alien world and we're on adult fan fiction, she's going to get a good fucking from someone or something. Simple.
Still, it could use some work. The pacing is a little... slow. You do do a good job of describing the world and what it looks and feels like, but I feel there isn't that foreboding feeling of what is to come, especially considering next chapter.
The world itself seems hostile and dangerous at a first glance. Samus does seem a little barren in this chapter - kind of lifeless, without much personality to make her compelling. This issue is reduced in the next chapter IIRC.
Also, I feel you should have given the readers a taste of what is to come. Maybe have Samus catch a glimpse of an alien, or more accurately, what the aliens are packing. Could have built up the 2nd chapter more imo
Regardless, this is pretty good. It's not particularly bad in any way and I'm still definitely inclined to continue onto the next chapter, so nice job.
Cheers!
Nice to see another chap (4). I love seeing Samus completely dominated and broken. Hope to read more. Well written.
I was enjoying chap2, great desscriptions, extreme dominance, but then you slipped into crazy town with full body penetration. I'm going to assume you know human bodies dont work that way. Going that bizzare loses the sexy. If it turns out to be a dream or magic or something I guess it's feasible, but still more silly then sexy by the end. Learnt to reign it in a bit.
You're back! You never fail to impress with length and detail, and of course quality. Feedback's good, but I understood that your story is supposed to be outrageous and in a written fantasy world you can do it however you want if it's done well. And you do it well, so don't worry too much about slant points. Take them in to make improvements, but don't take them to heart. Great work, I was immersed.
Haha! Well that got pretty intense at the end there. You really did good fleshing out the chapter. Her mental/physical process, the envrionment and the overall amount of content was written at a standard of vividness. Nice one.
I like your descriptive writing, and the usage of plot a big positive. Great stuff.
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