Reviews for A Long RoadBy : TehFuryMan |
You are doing an excellent job setting up your character's state of mind and expressing the issues she is having without turning it into angst. The only suggestion I would have for you is be careful how often you restate some points as you are getting close to making it monotonous.
Yeah, the sex scene was not good. You need to take your time. Linger on the details of the body, the smells, the heat. Describe each act as it happens, the movements and each partner's response to what the other is doing to them. Describe sensations of building passion and the sweet agony of release. Hopefully you will get better.
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