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Reviews for More Assertive

By : Lumino
  • From IllienGalene on March 11, 2020

    The story had a couple of issues. 

    1. Simple errors. Double words and such.

    2. You repeatedly used similar words in bulk, making it sound clunky. 

    3. Your characters lacked voice. You can't tell what person you are with. 

    4. You used technical stiff writing and wrong things. Like why would a woman place dirty pantyhose in her drawers?


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  • From RAW19 on August 18, 2009
    Most excellent! Loved the beginning, middle and end. That's about as assertive as one can get and i look forward to anymore work you post. ^-^

    Request? Hmmm... >_> I'm happy without almost any m/f pairing, but how about Ivan and Mia or Ivan/Jenna? Those both seem rare.
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  • From ThePairingGuy on November 11, 2008
    Hmm, not bad. Rather light on the story and characterizations, but you don't try to pretend otherwise. The sex scene has little more than the standard elements, but it's pretty good from beginning to end... no weirdness like you see in some GS fics. Not exceptional, but solid and entertaining.
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  • From ANON - One Who Rides On The Wind on October 01, 2005
    I like it. Windshipping's much better than Lighthouseshipping, only because it has our two favourite Jupiter Adepts! *grins* A request? Okay, Felix/Mia. It's called softshipping, if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, write more fanfics! Coz' ya rawk!!!!

    ~*~The Wind Rider~*~
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  • From ANON - One Who Rides On The Wind on August 26, 2005
    Hooray! Windshipping!!!!! Could you write a Felix/Mia softshipping? Pretty please? It would TOTALLY make my day!

    You rock!

    ~*~The Wind Rider~*~
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  • From ANON - The Pyro on June 04, 2005
    Heh heh, nice, this is the second Ivan/Shaba lemon I've found here, and it's a good one too! You don't see too many of these, and this is a good one! I also have a request, if I may, a Piers/Mia lemon please?
    Good fic, I like it!

    The Pyro
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  • From ANON - Omega X on January 06, 2005
    Very good and descriptive. I would like to see an Issac/Mia fic. or Even an Issac/Mia begining, Issac/Mia/Jenna middle, and Mia/Jenna ending, something like Mia and Issac going at it, Jenna walks in, admits she's bi, or something like that, and go from there. Overall good work

    Omega
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  • From ANON - -- on December 05, 2004
    ...interesting. all i can say is, i hate when people say "fuck me!" when they're fucking. so unnecesary.
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  • From ANON - Omega X on November 24, 2004
    Not to bad, I'd love to hear how Mia got Issac to own up on his feelings, maybe next chapter? Well, Keep up the good work


    Omega, Still searching for the perfect Issac/Mia lemon
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  • From ANON - Nightmare on November 22, 2004
    It was a good chapie and the point about being more asseritve was to die for, but pairings, pairings ahh and Issac/Jenna the classic pairing but yeah good story
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  • From ANON - Daedalus on October 20, 2004
    Not bad, not bad at all. Very well written (despite a few typos here and there) and a great pairing. I'd like to see a pairing of Issac and Mia, as a continuation to this story. Like, a chapter two.

    I liked your use of description, used it wisely and only where it needed to be used, I'm rather impressed.
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