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Reviews for summer love

By : belovedmiko7899
  • From ANON - whatThE on October 10, 2014
    WTF was that?
    Just...no.
    You've never written a story before. You don't even know to write, why bother putting it out for the world to see?
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  • From Sargoth on February 24, 2008
    lol

    If the title of the story is not even capitalized, it is not worth reading.
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  • From Lorenquille on April 03, 2007
    What the hell was that?
    The shift key exists for a reason, try using it in future!
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  • From elegyenigma on December 31, 2006
    ...Congratulations, you've contributed to the Top Ten Reasons Why People Think Authors on AFF All Suck list. Terrific, really, just fantastic.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 18, 2006
    it sucked. period.
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  • From Revu on December 17, 2006
    Oh boy, where to start...

    Honestly, we need s lot of work here, let me start then by saying the first thing that your story needs is organization. Understandably English is a very hard language, however issues such as grammar, punctuation, and spelling can be dealt with later as long as the story makes sense. While reading this piece I felt like the characters positions were suddenly switched around, and from that point on it was very difficult to tell who was doing what. I would personally lay out the story first, decide what needs to happen, and who's going to be taking what important actions throughout the story. If we know who's doing what then at least the story can be followed.

    Second we get into how the characters interact. This entire piece was a narrative with the entire "he said, she said" going on. To improve your writing you should really try getting away from that. It may seem difficult to jump straight into more complex writing styles, so I would recommend writing in script style first until you get the hang of story development. That way your readers will be able to follow along with who's doing what like...
    Revu: Script writing makes it clear as to who's doing what.
    Kyo: (Makes a throat clearing sound) And it's also an easy way to list what each individual character is doing.
    Revu: *sighs* Too bad I'll never be in a real movie script though.
    And then you can leave all the narrative you want between the dialogue. Narrating is really important for setting the scene, so try and be descriptive while relating a scene to your readers. The more detail you give the easier it will be for the reader to reach a similar mental image you had of the story while you were writing it.

    So try working some of those things out and see how it works for you. Once you become more adept at story telling through scripts you'll be more ready for taking on story telling in the traditional sense complete with consideration for proper grammar and punctuation and whatnot. I wish you the best of luck in your future writing endeavors!

    -Revu
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  • From ANON - Anonymous on December 04, 2006
    Periods and commas would be a good place to start. You can then get into very advanced punctuation that you learn in first grade called quotation marks and question marks.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 03, 2006
    WTF even is that crap?
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