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Reviews for life after oblivion, the dragon rampent

By : leftat11
  • From draygon on December 07, 2010
    Ok... first the good. I like the premise of your story. I really like the concept of Martin joining with Akatosh and coming back as it's avatar to continue the Septim line.

    Now the bad. You really need to work on your grammer and spelling as well as word usage. There were several instances where the word used was fine except it's spelling made the word mean the wrong thing. Dawn Breaks, it does not Brake. If you need someone to go through the story with a fine toothed comb this site offers the services of Betas. It may take a few days, but their advice is worth it.

    I like the story, I would just like to see you grow as a writer. And I realize that English may not be your first language but that does not mean that you can't improve. Even us native speakers learn something new about our own language every day. They don't call English the most complex language on earth for nothing. :)
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  • From Kynrael on November 29, 2007
    I liked this fan fic a lot and it gladdens me to see that I haven't been alone with my thoughts about the "end" of Martin Septim.

    Me, too imagined what it could have been like if a female player had been able to form a relationship with him, even if it had been purely carnal, and finding out that she was pregnant from him. Sadly, I never had the time and energy to write an Oblivion fan fiction. But the only two difference would have been that my character would have become pregnant shortly before they face the hoardes of Oblivion - and that she keeps it a secret until the child is old enough.

    Your story made me snuffle sadly at some parts - well done :-)

    It's too bad Oblivion itself is so sterile and free from "sex" and "realistic display of a relationship" or "emotions" that go into this direction.
    They should have thought about a less "wounding" end in that game.
    I guess they probably don't want a Sequel *sigh*


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