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Reviews for Moonlight

By : SaraJaye
  • From SaraJaye on July 16, 2007
    Heh, I guess I just sorta idolize you since you're my favorite author in this section. XD So your opinion means a lot to me.
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  • From WotanAnubis on July 16, 2007
    Well, I've read smut where it says "s/he worked on her and brought her to orgasm twice", I was experimenting with that.

    Yeah, I've read smut like that too. But, as you're probably aware, that's just not my kind of thing.

    And as everyone knows, my opinion is the only valid one. ;)

    But if you want to go with that, go with that.
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  • From SaraJaye on July 16, 2007
    Switching POVs gracefully is one thing I seriously need to work on, someone commented on that in an original story I wrote a month ago.

    Well, I've read smut where it says "s/he worked on her and brought her to orgasm twice", I was experimenting with that. Guess it didn't quite work to my advantage! And the buildup is gradual.

    And I'm not bothered by the sneaking-around sex, it's a lot of fun. But exhibitionism's a good idea!
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  • From WotanAnubis on July 16, 2007
    Actually liked this one better than the Hector-and-Farina one, even though I like Hector and Farina better than Eliwood and Ninian.

    Still, I cannot help but make a few comments.

    Firstly, the very first sentence of the fic is from Ninian's perspective. The very second sentence is from Eliwood's. Personally, I found this sudden jump from person to person to be a bit jarring. But then again, when I write I tend to pick one perspective and stick to it as much as I can, so perhaps others don't experience it that way.

    Ninian's first two orgasms kind of lack description. Yeah, OK, Eliwood is going down on her, but what's he doing down there, exactly? Is he just constantly flicking Ninian's clit or does he do other naughty things to her as well? How does Ninian('s body) react to all this? What goes on inside of her before those two orgasms? Does she instantly go from 'kinda aroused' to 'OMGSOMUCHPLEASUREIMCUMMING!!!' or is it all more gradual? ;)

    On a more positive note, I kind of really liked the bit where Eliwood looks at Ninian in the moonlight. Yeah, sure, it could be argued that it 'breaks up the action' or whatever, but it was a very nice bit. Even though it was about Eliwood thinking how sexy Ninian was, it still shows that these are people who care for each other, not two sets of genitalia crashing into each other.

    Finally, if you're bothered by the fact all your smutfics seem to involve people sneaking around, why not try to break with this trend by writing an exhibitionism fic? ;)
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