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Reviews for A Devil's Heart

By : PerireAnimus
  • From Afrieal on April 13, 2011
    I love your story so far and my writing buddy Ry is giggling over the male posturing between the two order members over Angela **grin** I personally know two young men with the name Ariel one from Eastern Europe and one from france and i love your use of religous cultures in the story so far. We both hope to see more of your work when you have the time to post it. Keep up the great work

    Affie and Rysha
    (hope this posts my hubby's laptop has wierd security settings)
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  • From GuiltyDevilGearSolid on January 30, 2011
    While the first three chapters are written with the utmost care with careful attention to spelling,grammar, and paragraph alignment,I noticed that in the fourth chapter,there are three paragraphs that stuck out to me which need to be edited as they are too long and need to be shortened in length.

    As for the premise,I will give you two thumbs ups for not making this a typical yaoi smut filled story. But I also shall knock off a few points as it is basically boils down to Dante or Nero protecting a defenseless female
    from a powerful devil;in this case the Morning Star Lucifer due to the fact that she possess a lot of power that can upset the balance of the world. Depending on how you develop this cliched story will determine the reviews you get.

    The summary you provided for this fanfic had me thinking about the Shin Megami Tensei videogame series,more noticeably since in chapter 4,the readers are introduced to Lucifer.

    Thank god you won't be bashing any of the three women of Devil May Cry I hope. I can't even begin to thank you for this.

    I could go on and on,but I see that in the reviews,Playa pretty much echoed the same thoughts and positive remarks as I do. What he says I fully agree with.
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  • From GuiltyDevilGearSolid on January 30, 2011
    You need to decide sooner rather than later if there will be any pairings in this fanfic at all or not. Doesn't matter which option you choose,but it would be nice and welcomed if you decide on something. I do not have the patience to be guessing whether or not this will have any pairings or not. The reason I make mention this is if you are going to have either a DanteXOC or VergilXOC then it is going to make a huge difference to the readers besides myself who hate this kind of thing.

    If given the option,I will always chose no pairings than ones with female OCs.

    One minor negative point I would like to bring up is you need to tone down the purple posing aka the descriptions you are making. Describe things with as little sentences as you can. Nobody wants to reads a paragraph on what Vergil is wearing for example. It is unnecessary and makes the chapters seem longer than they need to be.


















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  • From play2dabone on August 09, 2008
    I was stumbing around in this section lokking around for non yaoi fics and by golyl I had stumbled onto this. This is very good work. The decrption you gave for when Vergil had returned to hell was graphic and sickening but excellent. I also liked how Trish is in this fic instad of Lady. Now that's a first. Most of the time it's the bicolored woman whog ets to appear alognside Dante. Not that i hate her or anything because I do happen to find her attractive. But Trish needs love too.

    I'm atonished Dante is getting all exicted to soon fight agaisnt the prince of hell himself Lucifer. Well in SMT Nocturne he can't do shit against him and is worthless in that situcation.

    If there is somethign I do have a problem with is that you need to space out the sentences better and seperate them into paragraphs. I hate reading a story that has the words all bucned up together. It annoys me to no end.

    Chaacterazation of the DMC characters are spot on and everything feels right. Although I'm strictly a religious person by nature I do must applud you for the great ses of religion in this fanfic.

    I'm also hoping there's goign to be a lemon soon smewhere in this.

    Keep writing.



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  • From Miscallacy on July 09, 2008
    Another excellent chapter! Vergil sounds so full of himself, and very persistent. I want some lovin tho! D< So much serious-ness, and i haven't seen any fluff or lemons ;~;. You're probably getting to it tho, i'm only on the second chapter. I'm already adoring this story, whenever I'm not reading it i starve and wish that i were v.v. On to the next chapter! Woot~ =D
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  • From Miscallacy on July 09, 2008
    Wonderful portraying, i like all the characters and their way of thinking. Suspicious of this lilly character, wonder whats going to proceed with her. One again, love the chapter, can't wait to read more.
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  • From Ginkies on April 04, 2008
    awww man that sucks its not finished, i've just read all of them and though it rocked. Its the first story i've read all the way threw on here too.
    the story rocks and i hope you dont take it down so i can keep reading it.
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  • From RenoTurk on March 18, 2008
    Good points - lots of research has been done and you can really see that. I can tell you've worked hard at it and that's a good thing but if you are gonna try and get this published or get more reviews/attention -
    Do not write solely for the reason of hits and attention. Writing is fun. This is also an adult site so I find it hard that just as you get to a good bit you back off. Go with it cos sudden cut offs make for erractic reads. The language needs some tidying, I know this one from my own reviews on another site and do not be afraid of html cos the better the layout the more eye-catching. And by the way this was all reivew for help not a flame. I hope that makes sense.

    Cheers
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  • From MacAnimeGirl on February 06, 2008
    I love how you put Christianity (is that religion you're using?) in this fic. I've wondered how you could fit the two with two half-Devils. Are all Devils evil?? On the same note... are all Angels good?? I wonder... lol.
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  • From Goldeneyesofinu on January 28, 2008
    I really like it so far... I don't read much of the Devil May Cry stuff but it's got my attention... Try looking for a beta to help you out with your writings... You'll get more hits and reviews!

    And what is your first language since you said it wasn't English??
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  • From ANON - Secrets on January 22, 2008
    I really love this story so far and I know I will love it all the way until the end, then I will beg for you to do more. Lol. The smexy parts are awsome, I have a total visual on what is happening.
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  • From Secrets101 on January 18, 2008
    I loved this chapter too, My my all this lovin' and I still haven't had a cigarette. LOL. You are very discriptive and you create images in my head when I read, Like as if I can see what it going on. Very few creative writers can do that to me. Kudos to this chapter and the last, this story is coming along beautifully.

    -Secrets
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  • From Secrets101 on January 17, 2008
    I love this story and I know I will continue to love it again and again, like a lover....who loves something very much. Lol. Keep up the good work, you are very creative and very discriptive. I can't wait for the more...'Juicy' parts...


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