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Reviews for Poison

By : RockgirlX
  • From ANON - Maddi on June 15, 2014
    This story is far too rushed: it has all the right components to be a fantastic story, but it's far too short, needs more detail, and feels far too rushed. It's sad: this story really could have been fabulous had you taken the time to write it properly. You need more practice, but you have the makings to write good fiction.
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  • From ArmagideonTime on June 12, 2008
    Holy crap! That was incredibly vile and seemingly real! If only Zero had punished Sigma all the more before killing him...Wow that just shows how into the story I was. Nice work, rockgirl-x. Seriously, for such a taboo subject you pulled it off. Luckily the bad guy got his come uppance. But geez, talk about flexing your writing muscles! Congrats on another phenomenal work. Please keep this up.
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  • From ramaolendris on June 12, 2008
    Ah! Much better- much more reasoning and character development. A little spooky and dark, but what can we expect from a rape fic? Keep writing, and have fun.
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  • From ramaolendris on June 11, 2008
    To be blunt, this story isn't your best. I like most of your work, and I know what you are truly capable of but this one is just not up to par with what you can do. I'm certain that if you revised this story it would be much better.

    It's not the subject matter that makes this story bland- it's the writing. In your other fics you had nice transitions and obvious thought to how each scene and event came to be along with wise decisions on character reactions but this story lacked all of that. The writing was a little choppy, the characters had comical reactions to the situation and the story seemed like it was written in a rush.

    On the other hand- you had a very good plot developing in which Sigma in his own mind was attempting, and succeeding in conquering X and crushing his future. It got me very interested which is a BIG + for you. You have a wonderful imagination, and you can utilize that with your writing for the most part.

    My advice to make this story better is to revise it, look over it and write how you really can. And please note- this is not a flame but advice and opinion. A lot of people forget that these sites are tools and get angry when honest opinions are given.
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