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Reviews for Finding Naoto [Persona 4]

By : sanyilma
  • From Saucium on January 26, 2009
    Hey, there. Nice to see some P4 fanfics here. Thought I'd review this one. ^_^

    I thought you did a very good job with the first person perspective. I felt that Naoto was in-character the whole time -- she likely would have thought that way had things developed as such.

    Perhaps the only complaint I have is a minor one. The strange format kind of messed with my eyes, but that's something that can be fixed easily.

    Anyway, good job again getting into her head. Keep up the good work and more power to you. :)
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  • From 2FD2 on January 06, 2009
    As for suggestions: You could probably put another section or two before the first if you wanted, detailing first Naoto's suspicions/confronting the others(she did initially suspect the group, and Souji/main was the one who basically told her it wasn't a game) and then the awakening of her persona, that way the progression from cold faux-male detective to woman-in-love is more apparent and powerful. You could also change the final section to just the confession/lv10 events(how she feels now that they're "together", etc) and use the final statements for an added section for the Christmas Eve event(which is the first time she ever shows her feminine side physically. It just drives home the point of the woman she's become.)

    I wouldn't mind seeing an sequel/epilogue to this, too. But that's just me wishing for more Souji/Naoto fluff and should be taken with a grain of salt.

    That's all that comes to mind. Hope it helps.
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  • From NeoMiasma on January 04, 2009
    I have yet to start the Naoto S.Link, and up into I read this story, I had planned on starting a Serious Relationship with Yukiko. Now you made consider having one with Naoto. I love the way this story was presented. Excellent Job.
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  • From focus13 on January 02, 2009
    Awwww, that was sweet. Normally I wouldn't take the time to review stuff lacking smut but this one seemed... different.
    Probably the first person narration. Either way, it's good stuff!

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  • From 2FD2 on January 01, 2009
    I love how Naoto's narrative gets steadily more emotional as events continue, eventually sounding nothing like the colder, logical detective from the first entry. It synchs up well with the S.Link and makes for an awesome read.

    Absolutely fantastic. I'm a sucker for sappiness like this.
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  • From LadyofTheWhiteWater on December 31, 2008
    I haven't got that part in the game yet but the art book kind of spoil me on that little secret. But I love this story. The disconnected thoughts work so well. Good work...keep it up! ^___^
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