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Reviews for The hunter

By : HelenBenson
  • From Lunarsilver on September 24, 2017

    This was awesome and I think they should have a second date like he brought her a very big apple tree from then on he helps her with hunts.


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  • From ANON - on June 27, 2016
    I loved it. Damn! It's kinda lovly! I really like how you described it all and would love to see that the deathclaw see her again and do not want to rip she apart but yes keep with her, protect her and bagn to have fellings just like she for he. I'm brasilian. Don't know where are you from, but would love to chat with you. Because what? I an a writer too. I write an fallout fic that an deathclaw is the fompanion of an women. I would love to chaat with you about fallout things that we love. If you wanted, add me in facebook and send me a message saying that is you, from de deathvlaw fic. Really hoping that you will see this and add me as a friend.My name in Facebook is: Raziel Ravena. You can add my other facebook too: Zenix Drakar. Till there then. Peace!
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  • From Ahnkitomi on February 11, 2011
    Oh, and I actually really liked that you didn't make ~excuses~ for or try to explain her desires; she wanted what she wanted, and that was that, which felt kind of true to life in terms of kink. (Besides a few...minor contextual details. XD)
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  • From Ahnkitomi on February 11, 2011
    That was. fffffffff. incredibly hot. The smooth, elegantly constructed logic of the prose built the tension beautifully, and it moved sleekly into an organic eroticism that - hot damn, packed a punch. (P-pun not intended.) And xeno - mostly monsterxgirl - is just about my biggest button puncher ever but, like you said, most of it is cringe-worthy, and this was a GEM.

    I really liked the character(...s), too. She's just so - practical, and thoughtful, and ruthlessly efficient. She knows what she wants and she gets it done! She was great, and you kept an awareness of the monster as a living being very much involved without trying to humanize him too much.

    Thank you for writing.
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  • From FenrisKnight on October 27, 2010
    This is a masterfully written story. What I especially enjoy is how well you captured the essence of fallout, the element of extreme survival and meticulousness tat comes with that requirement. I hope you continue to write, because this is excellent.
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 02, 2010
    lol, this is fantastic. well written, interesting concept. maybe next time you could write a story on why she would want to fuck a deathclaw, instead of just for the lawls
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  • From daveb on April 24, 2010
    Absolutely awesome. I'd love this to continue, maybe with him catching up to her for a second "date", and they stay together afterwards.
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  • From JustS on April 18, 2010
    Wow, you're better at writing than a lot of native English speakers! Like Victory666 said, you did well to avoid cliches but also had a very efficient and clear style - not easy considering some of the descriptions you had to do.

    I only noticed a couple of things that need fixing that came up more than once: you used the word 'extasis' when you meant to use 'ecstasy', and 'irremediable' when I think you were looking for 'undeniable'.

    Again - great job. Hope to see more stuff by you.
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  • From RedScythe2003 on April 16, 2010
    Love the plot: it is well thought out and the Hunter goes into it with no preconceptions. She never tries to humanize the Deathclaw. It's an awesome concept. I love the way you dodged cliches and it was well executed! Great work!

    As far as grammatical stuff, "rubber" was used in lieu of "rubbed" a few times and the word "sigh" and "sight" were reversed (as in you used "sigh" where I assume you meant the "sight" of the rifle.) "She could now perfectly see the monster" would normally be written "She could see the monster perfectly now" and later on "were usually surprised of their quietness." should probably have been "were usually surprised by their quietness."

    It's all aesthetic stuff though. Prepositions and Adverbs come along with practice so keep up the good work!
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