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Reviews for Breeder

By : Larania
  • From ANON - Eeriel on February 05, 2014
    This story was amazing. The emotions and occurrences are so raw and real. Love Garrus, Sheperd, and Kaidan!
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  • From ANON - treylot on August 11, 2012
    I've only read up to chapter 15, but the story definitely shows some promise. I have a few criticisms. Personally, I can't help but feel that after horizon (chapter 8), the story became a real slog to read. The story lacked conflict. There's hardly any conflict between Shepard and Zaeed any more and none at all between Kaidan and Garrus. I get that the two of them are supposed to be understanding, but it only makes the story and them all the more boring when the relationship is already defined so fast. IMO, the both of them agreed too early to share Shepard. While the sex is interesting, it doesn't really make up for the lack of plot.

    I liked the way the story initially started off dark, with Shepard struggling with gender issues and all. The way it eventually shifts into a really light story that ignores all of that (the dreams, Zaeed) almost makes it feel as though a different writer wrote all the chapters after 8. Still, the story is far better than the average one you come across on this site and I hope you write more like it.
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  • From grimreaperchibi on July 23, 2012
    I just wanted to let you know how much I am enjoying this. Your pacing is great, you handle action sequence well without turning them into major foci, and admittedly, the quick updating helps with bringing my attention back to it time and time again. I rarely have issues falling into the world you've constructed, which is constructed so well that I truly fail to notice my own surroundings when reading. But your greatest accomplishment is the fact that I'm not a fan of the Mass Effect series. I have never played the games and know basically just enough to not have my gamer geek card revoked. Yet I feel absolutely comfortable with the characters as you've presented them and readily identify with them in any given situation. That takes genuine skill, for which I commend your use thereof.

    My only criticism is that sometimes it's hard to tell what's supposed to be a flashback and what is a continuation of the current timeline. That may be mostly due to my ignorance of the games themselves and I usually catch on rather quickly without any problems. Even though it may only be for a second or three, though, it can be rather jarring and disorienting because I'm suddenly not where I thought I should be. This does not, however, mean that I enjoy each chapter any less, nor don't understand what you're striving for in those cases. I'm not even sure if there's a good way to format for it, so take this as more observation than anything else.

    Please, keep up the great work even if there seems to be little reward for it. This truly is a great story and I, for one, will be following along until the (the hopefully not) bitter end.
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