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Reviews for A Time of Peace

By : ShroudedShinobi92
  • From ScarletVenus on May 11, 2014
    Might want to spend some time fleshing out the characters. You provide a bakcground, exposition, and two characters that we know nothing about. OCs can be interesting to read, but they have to have some life behind them. And, frankly, there's so many characters to use in the Sonic cannon that an OC doesn't really need to be used. As such, the ones you have on display don't really have anything for the reader to latch on to. Which means when they start their sex scenes, there's no reason to care about them. We're just reading a couple of OCs with a barely fleshed out background start porking. Establish something: history, motivation, even a simple premise. Something simple like "Toby wanted to fuck Mrs. Hopkins, but she never noticed him because she was twice his age." That's not much, but it sets up the motivation and setting for the two characters and why one of them desires the other. Just saying that a little effort goes a long way in a story like this.
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