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for Lifeforce

by tenamanda1988

person Ultima
schedule October 2, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hiya! ^_^

You know, I haven't been checking AFF too often lately because the general slowness of additions to this section, but I'm glad I caught this one. Something about this story really hit me. I love the way it was written. I think it's because this is probably the best balance I've seen between "cocky bastard Dante" and "introspective Dante."

Because this was done so well conceptually, though, I have to be really nitpicky about the technical side. There are some grammar (sentence fragments, mostly) and tense issues that I noticed mostly at the beginning of the story. You seemed to catch or correct them later on, though. It's just that little bit that takes away from a really well-written piece.

Regardless, great job, and you definitely have my vote. ^_^


- Jen

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