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October 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ho'shitz man, that was good! I didn't know what to expect from it, but :3 I liked it A LOT. So please, I urge you to continue.
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October 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I always thought Roxas was a little less reserved than Sora...
I like it! Keep it up
I like it! Keep it up
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October 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You're so mean to Riku! >o< Why must you be so mean!
lol good stuff so far, can't wait to see the next chapter
lol good stuff so far, can't wait to see the next chapter
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October 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
For your first fanfic you are doing well. You might want to watch your grammar though.
For example "I'll do that," he said. Instead of "I'll do that" he said. And remember start a new paragraph each time someone new speaks. Just common mistakes that alot of people make.
I like the ending of the chapter, good cliffhanger there. I look forward to the next chapter.
One last thing, have fun with writing it.
For example "I'll do that," he said. Instead of "I'll do that" he said. And remember start a new paragraph each time someone new speaks. Just common mistakes that alot of people make.
I like the ending of the chapter, good cliffhanger there. I look forward to the next chapter.
One last thing, have fun with writing it.