schedule
February 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"One little nitpick: the text says that the girls come 'a fourth and final time'. That should be three (or third). Also, that third time could use a bit more padding, some more description."
Ahaha, that was an oversight on my part. I originally had the sex scene longer, 4 orgasms each, but I shortened it a bit and changed it to 3. Must've forgotten to change that!
Yeah, I think my creative juice ran down by then...I'm very unused to writing smut. I clearly need more practice.
Thanks for your review!
Ahaha, that was an oversight on my part. I originally had the sex scene longer, 4 orgasms each, but I shortened it a bit and changed it to 3. Must've forgotten to change that!
Yeah, I think my creative juice ran down by then...I'm very unused to writing smut. I clearly need more practice.
Thanks for your review!
schedule
February 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Short, sweet, smutty and practically canon too. What more needs to be said? If anything, perhaps you could have put a bit more focus on the sneaking because now they're just a few mentions at the edges of the girl/girl smut.
One little nitpick: the text says that the girls come 'a fourth and final time'. That should be three (or third). Also, that third time could use a bit more padding, some more description.
But anyways: Hurrah for Lyn/Florina smut! May there be much more in the future. ;)
One little nitpick: the text says that the girls come 'a fourth and final time'. That should be three (or third). Also, that third time could use a bit more padding, some more description.
But anyways: Hurrah for Lyn/Florina smut! May there be much more in the future. ;)