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July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Very good story. This is by far the best of your five Riviera tales, mainly because it consists of considerably more than a contrived situation for the two characters to have sex. This is a good idea for what Ein and Fia might be doing years after the game's end(by the way, it makes the whole scenario a lot more believable for it to be taking place years after, too), and the non-sex part of the story is excellent. A good plot, fits pretty well with the game, and well-choreographed, exciting fight scenes. Ein and Fia make a terrific team.
Unfortunately, the sex isn't as good as the rest... It seems too rushed, Ein is rougher than his character indicates he would be, and Fia sure doesn't act like a virgin, actually shifting herself into a specific sexual position and even commenting about "round two"! The story just feels very fake once the sex starts.
That said, up until that point, it's terrific. Have you written any Riviera stories for Fanfiction dot net?
Unfortunately, the sex isn't as good as the rest... It seems too rushed, Ein is rougher than his character indicates he would be, and Fia sure doesn't act like a virgin, actually shifting herself into a specific sexual position and even commenting about "round two"! The story just feels very fake once the sex starts.
That said, up until that point, it's terrific. Have you written any Riviera stories for Fanfiction dot net?